2021 is about ME.

2020 was jam-packed with life events that left me drained, giving every ounce of myself to my family and having nothing left for myself. I had a baby at the very beginning of the pandemic which means that my every waking hour, and many hours in between were baby focused. Fair enough- that's part of having a child, especially in the beginning. But what also took more of me was the loss of my mother-in-law, two short weeks after our baby was born. That left my husband empty, grieving and needing my support. Covid19 shut the world down and with that came a layoff notice from my husband's job, creating even more of a void in his life. and then my beloved cat fell sick, and required a lot of attention and care to live out her last days. She passed shortly after thanksgiving and took a chunk of my heart with her. All of these events have created a situation in my life where I didn't matter. My needs were not met, because there was no one to meet them. I couldn't, and still can't, visit with family or friends who would normally be able to meet some of those needs, so for my goal of taking better care of myself in 2021, I am on my own. Though my family still needs me to be a rock, I have realized that I can't do that without also making sure I am also taken care of. When you read post and stories of moms insisting on the importance of self-care, you kind of shrug your shoulders and say "duh" as if it's obvious. But it is MUCH harder to do and practice once you're in it.

What I have committed to for 2021, that requires nothing but discipline and a little help from the hubby is this:

1. I will sit down and write at least 3 times a week while baby naps. This requires a quiet space, so hubby has agreed to go to the bedroom and play on his phone or ipad to give me the space. (we live in 700square feet, so quiet space is a little more difficult if he doesn't do that or leave the condo).

2. I will take a bath once baby is in bed every other day. And I'm not talking about plain old baths. I'm talking about essential oils, epsom salts, sea salts, crystals, bath bombs, candles, wine, a show on my Ipad if I want, UNINTERRUPTED! All this requires from the hubby is to leave me alone for minimum 1 hour.

3. I will get out and walk at least 4 times a week WITH the baby. Getting fresh air and exercise is essential, and because I was always so tired, I often didn't feel like I had the energy to do it. But, since I've been applying goal #4, I have been much more ready to get out and get moving, setting a good example for my son.

4. Nap when the baby naps in the afternoon. I have chosen to write during the morning nap time, but I have committed to napping once a day in the afternoon while the baby naps, and not feeling guilty about it. I have to say that letting go of the guilt is probably more the goal than actually napping, because I did that a bit before already, but I often couldn't sleep soundly or ended up getting up after 20 minutes because I felt that the chores needed to be done. They don't. And it took WAY too long for me to realize that and let go of that thought pattern.

5. Lastly, I have set the goal of trying new recipes for dinner. Once a week, I have set the goal of finding new recipes for my family to enjoy for dinner. With the restrictions of not going out due to covid, I have found that cooking and eating have become more important in my day-to-day. If I was bored of cooking before, we would just go out for food, or order in. This isn't possible anymore because of the pandemic and loss of my husband's employment. We simply cant afford to do it, but cooking and eating the same things that I know, over and over, is tiresome and was ruining my love for cooking. My Dad gifted me an instant pot for Christmas, so that has spiced things up a bit in our household. Though not every recipe I try is a hit, I have found a few new recipes that will become staples for us in the long run.

Five manageable goals for the new year. Five things that focus on me. Five ways I can foster a better version of myself for my family. 2020 wasn't all bad, but 2021 CAN be better.