12 Lessons you should learn before your 40s

Life has a funny way of teaching us things when we least expect it. Whether it's through a random conversation, a challenging situation, or even just a quiet moment of reflection, there are lessons everywhere if we’re open to them. Over time, we start to see patterns in our experiences, and those patterns reveal valuable insights. These insights become more than just lessons; they become little nuggets of wisdom that help shape our journey. Here are 12 of the most important ones I’ve picked up along the way.

1. Create Your Own Meaning

We’re tiny specks in a vast universe, but that doesn’t mean our lives lack purpose. Some people spend their whole lives searching for meaning, but the truth is, it’s not something we find—it’s something we create. Whether it’s through our work, our relationships, or even our hobbies, we give life meaning by pouring our energy into what we care about. The key is to stay curious and open-minded. You don't have to wait for a grand revelation. Just start where you are, with what you love. Be the sunshine in your own story because only you can truly light up your life.

2. Everyone Has a Story

Have you ever looked at someone and made a snap judgment? We’ve all done it. But one of the most eye-opening lessons I've learned is that everyone has a story. We’re all walking around with our own mix of joys, heartaches, struggles, and triumphs. No one’s life is simple or straightforward, even if it looks that way on the outside. Understanding this can shift your entire perspective on how you treat others. Instead of reacting to people’s behaviors, consider the possibility that their actions are shaped by things you’ll never fully understand. Compassion and kindness go a long way when you realize that everyone you meet is fighting their own battles.

3. Square Pegs, Round Holes

Sometimes in life, things just don’t fit. Whether it’s a job that doesn’t suit your skills, a relationship that feels forced, or a path that no longer excites you, it’s okay to walk away. Trying to force a fit where there isn’t one only leads to frustration and exhaustion. Recognizing when something doesn’t serve you anymore takes courage, but it’s crucial for growth. It’s like trying to jam a square peg into a round hole—it doesn’t work, and it never will. Let go of what doesn’t fit so you can make space for something that does.

4. Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

Life isn’t black and white, and neither is the truth. We live in a world full of opinions, half-truths, and sometimes outright misinformation. It’s easy to be swayed by what others tell you, especially when it’s coming from someone you trust or admire. But just because something is said with confidence doesn’t make it true. There are always multiple sides to every story, and the truth often lies somewhere in between. Take things with a grain of salt and do your own research before jumping to conclusions. Critical thinking is one of the most valuable skills you can develop in a world where information is abundant but not always accurate.

5. We’re All Just Human

At the end of the day, no matter who we are or what we’ve accomplished, we’re all just human. We all have the same basic needs for love, connection, and belonging. Whether you’re talking to a celebrity, a world leader, or your next-door neighbor, we’re all trying to make it through life the best way we know how. This realization can be humbling and empowering at the same time. It reminds you that no one has it all figured out, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to be imperfect, just like everyone else.

6. Surprise Them

Life is more fun when you do the unexpected. There’s something magical about breaking away from the norm and surprising people. Whether it’s in your work, relationships, or day-to-day interactions, doing something out of the ordinary leaves a lasting impression. It could be something as small as sending an unexpected thank-you note or as big as pulling off a surprise party. The element of surprise adds a little sparkle to life and keeps things interesting. Plus, it’s a great way to show people you care.

7. Always Look Your Best

You never know what the day holds or who you might meet. While it might seem superficial, looking your best isn’t just about vanity—it’s about being prepared for whatever life throws your way. When you take care of your appearance, you’re signaling to the world that you’re ready for whatever opportunities come your way. Plus, when you look good, you feel good, and that confidence can carry over into every aspect of your life. So, even on those days when you’d rather stay in your pajamas, put in a little effort—it might just pay off in unexpected ways.

8. Set Deadlines

Goals without deadlines are just dreams. It’s easy to say you want to do something, but if you don’t give yourself a timeline, it’s unlikely to happen. Deadlines create a sense of urgency and help you stay focused on what’s important. When you set a deadline, you’re committing to making progress, even if it’s just a small step at a time. The key is to be realistic with your deadlines—don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to do too much too quickly. Break your goals down into manageable tasks, and before you know it, you’ll be ticking things off your list.

9. Treat Others How They Want to Be Treated

The Golden Rule is a good starting point, but the Platinum Rule takes things a step further: treat others how they want to be treated. Everyone has different needs, preferences, and boundaries, so what works for you might not work for someone else. By paying attention to what people value and adjusting your behavior accordingly, you can build stronger, more meaningful relationships. It’s not about losing yourself in the process—it’s about finding a balance between your needs and the needs of others.

10. Question the Hype

We live in a culture that glorifies trends, celebrities, and the latest “it” thing. But just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Don’t feel pressured to follow the crowd or buy into the hype if it doesn’t resonate with you. It’s important to define your own standards for success, beauty, and happiness. Remember, what works for someone else might not work for you, and that’s okay. The key is to stay true to yourself and what makes you genuinely happy.

11. Face the Fear

Fear is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. It’s okay to feel afraid—whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown—but don’t let it stop you from pursuing your dreams. Sometimes, the scariest things in life turn out to be the most rewarding. Instead of avoiding fear, face it head-on. Acknowledge it, let it in for a moment, and then push past it. You might be surprised at how much stronger and more capable you are than you thought.

12. Live, Don’t Just Observe

It’s easy to get caught up in analyzing life, whether it’s through social media, news, or even overthinking your own experiences. But sometimes you need to step away from the screen and actually live.

And there you have it—12 lessons that have made my journey richer, more meaningful, and a whole lot more fun. Life is a process, and each lesson is just another step along the way. Here’s to learning more as we go!