10 Best Advice for 20-Year-Old Boys

When I turned 30, I found myself sitting alone in a coffee shop, watching a young guy across the room nervously tap his fingers on a resume folder. He looked about 20—sharp haircut, awkward confidence, trying hard to look grown-up in a world that still felt too big.

And I smiled.

Not because he looked unsure, but because I saw myself in him. That age is full of expectations and anxiety. You’re supposed to have it all figured out. You’re expected to chase success, stay strong, look cool, and never ask for help.

But here’s the truth: no one really knows what they’re doing at 20. Some are just better at pretending.

If I could sit across from my younger self—or maybe someone like you—here’s what I’d say. These aren’t just tips. These are hard-earned lessons, scarred into me over a decade of trial, error, and growth.

---

1. You’re Not Falling Behind

It may feel like everyone has a plan—college, career, girlfriend, house. But it’s a lie. Everyone's winging it, some are just quieter about it. Your path is yours. Don’t measure it by someone else’s timeline.

2. Be Proud to Say “I Don’t Know”

You don’t need all the answers. Admitting ignorance is a strength, not a weakness. Ask questions. Listen more than you talk. Wisdom begins when ego steps aside.

3. Take Care of Your Body Now

You won’t feel the damage until later. But trust me—sleep, water, exercise, real food. It adds up. This is your only body, and it remembers every energy drink, skipped meal, and sleepless night. Build good habits early.

4. Friendships Need Maintenance

The boys you hang out with now may drift away if you’re not intentional. Call them. Show up. Be there for the hard stuff, not just the parties. Brotherhood takes effort. Don’t let it fade.

5. Learn to Handle Rejection

You’ll get turned down—by jobs, girls, opportunities. Don’t take it personally. Learn from it, move on. Every “no” teaches you something. And one day, it’ll lead to a “yes” that changes everything.

6. Save Some Money (Even If It’s a Little)

I know—money’s tight. But save something. $5 a week. $10. Build a habit. Future you will thank you for giving him options. Financial peace isn’t about being rich—it’s about not being trapped.

7. You’re Allowed to Cry

Forget the “man up” nonsense. Emotions aren’t weakness. Pain doesn’t disappear when you ignore it—it grows. Talk to someone. Cry if you need to. Real strength is knowing when to be vulnerable.

8. Not Everyone Deserves Access to You

Protect your time and your energy. Say no. Set boundaries. Some people drain you, others feed your soul. Learn the difference. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and seen.

9. Learn a Skill That’s Just for You

Not everything has to make money. Find something you love—writing, drawing, playing guitar, fixing bikes. Something that makes you feel alive, even when the world feels heavy. That’s your anchor.

10. This Is Not a Rehearsal—This Is Life

You don’t need to wait to start living. Don’t keep putting happiness on hold. This version of you—messy, broke, unsure—is still worthy of joy. Go on spontaneous road trips. Say what you feel. Take risks. Laugh more. Document everything. You won’t get this version of life again.

---

Now that I’m older, I don’t regret failing. I regret not trying sooner. I regret pretending to be okay when I wasn’t. I regret the time I spent hating myself for not being where I thought I should be.

But most of all, I regret not giving myself grace.

So here it is—for you, if you’re 20 and feeling lost:

You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not weak for being unsure.

You’re just young.

And being young is not a problem—it’s a gift. Don’t waste it trying to fast-forward to a future that will come soon enough.

Grow slow. Be kind. Stay curious.

And remember: you’ve got time.