The Flow of Blossoming

In the red, I had been there for a while, about a decade. Stuck in the cycle of survival mode unable to trust and feel safe within myself. Feeling as if I didn’t know what was best for my own light. Groveling and allowing life to happen to me, always becoming and playing the victim of my circumstances. Until I made a firm decision to take control and that is when the cycle ended. From there life became fluid.

The flow had become relatively lighter it resembled something like the shade of the monarch butterfly. Holding back from myself and the world kept me in this zone longer than needed. I had become the face of the people pleaser wanting everyone to like me, so I kept my brightly orange-colored wings clipped and tucked away. Pushing back the spirit that was trying to work its way through. Until the feelings of worthiness washed over my being did the lock become undone and door finally open. The release had been long awaited.

Only then did the view of the sun appear shining as bright as ever. I felt the burning away of my desire to always want to control and lead the way, as if my mind knew better than my spirit, the time of being led by mind had come to an end. Peace engulfed my being, allowing the soaking in of confidence I needed within myself. Understanding this was the only way to move forward. Partially charred from the beauty of its glow, no longer was self-doubt running the program. I was now beaming with self-love from within.

Through my being I felt the flow move into the lights of a deeply green fully nurtured forest. Although I had been grown from roots of trees were damaged and unhealthy, I was able to cut off the dead branches and heal the ones remaining within myself and the roots of trees who were nearby and in need of the overflow of my nutrients. Basking in the love of being myself. Letting go as the light moved upward.

Being fully grounded through self-love a moment came where the light became water and flowed upstream into the vastness of such a pure blue ocean. No longer hiding my true being from the world, experiencing the safety and connection that came with embodying authenticity, that caused the ripple effect of the waves to come crashing upon the shores.

Placing me upon the sands I lay back facing towards the sky, watching in admiration as the stars flickered brightly in the indigo-colored sky. Being gifted with the sight to see the beauty in such an elaborate design. No longer was I scattered not knowing which direction that was best suited to myself, but I was intentional with the moments of my life. Every word, action, and movement now served a greater purpose. The Allowing creation to birth something unimaginably new.

That is when the flow morphed into the most beautiful lavender colored crown. No longer being absorbed into the quicksand trying to find my place within the lost crowd, No longer dehydrated and dying of thirst. The waters had begun to continuously flow, blockages had finally been worked through and removed.

Each moment and circumstance in time had led me on the path home within myself. The depression, anxiety, heartbreak, and betrayal had served their purposes. Now the unique being that I was with all my love, light, and sometimes darkness were free from the constraints. Now the time had come to place the shining lavender colored crown upon my head and allow evolution to its next phase in work. There was beauty in releasing myself into the world.