In The Blink of An Eye

I open my eyes and realize that I was staring at the ceiling. I felt a panic bubble inside me. I was supposed to be somewhere, and it was clear I had overslept. It clicked immediately that I was supposed to be at school for a couple events.

It registered in my mind; this was not the ceiling of my room. And other sensations became a little clearer. There was a smell of disinfectant with a small hint of copper that can only be linked to blood. There seemed to be a beeping machine somewhere nearby.

My eyes started looking around the room and I could tell I was somewhere I was not supposed to be. It was like a nightmare come true. I went to sleep in my room and now it was somewhere that I had no clue. I felt odd as if I were not in my body.

I guess the person that was in the room with me realized I was awake. I think they could see the panic in my eyes as well. It was at this time that I explained I was in the hospital. I could not move my arms or legs. Before I could even try to ask what happened I was told I had been in a car wreck.

Now I was becoming really scared. I knew that the route I was taking was heavily traveled with people going to school. Young children and their parents going to elementary school just around the corner from the shortcut I was taking. I whispered, "Had anyone else gotten hurt?" I was told that I was the only one besides a pine tree and my truck. At that moment I reacted with OK and then went back to sleep.

Now all those that were in my room that day were surprised how well I took it. The thing was I was in shock as well as preoccupied with the fact that I had not been at the meetings for PBL or NTHS. This may sound trivial to most but over the last few years I have become an active member as well as an active student at the Technical College. It took me a little while to process everything else I have been told.

A little while later the main doctor who was treating me came into the room and gave me a lot of details as far as he knew. The first thing he did was ask me the name and birthdate of all my children, I have five so this is a sufficient test. I got both their full names and their birthdays right. I did make them each a year older. I felt like the world's worst mother, but the doctor told me he was impressed I got as much right as I had.

Then he started asking me things like who was the president, what was today date, and who I was. I answered all the questions he was asking to make sure I did not seem to have any long-term damage from the traumatic brain injury which he told me later was very mild. The only question that I did not get right was what day it was, and it was explained to me that I was put in a medical coma for a week. That date was the day before Valentine's Day.

The trauma doctor then made sure I understood how bad the accident I had was and that I was lucky to be alive. In a very blunt manner, he warned me that I was gonna be a quad (which is a person who cannot move their arms or legs.) He warned me that I would never walk again and the only way I would be able to get around would be either in a bed or wheelchair.

Some might say that was harsh. I will be honest with you; I appreciated the fact that he was as honest as he could be with me. It allowed me to not have any false hope but be grateful for what I did have, my memories, a working brain, and the ability to enjoy being surrounded by loved ones. Here comes the funny thing, I have no memory of the car wreck. I have been told what happened. I also had to rely on the police report, the report from the GBI, as well as family and friends who tried to fill in the blanks.

I lost control of my truck while on the way to school. I flipped it from what they are saying 6 to 9 times. Now understand I have not seen the truck since before the wreck. I was told that it did not look like a truck. It looked like an odd Easter egg.

In fact, I was declared dead on the same day. I was told that the pine tree was in my truck and that I hit it with so much force that my seat belt broke, and I crumbled into the floorboard. Let us hear it for seatbelts because if I had not had it on, I would have gone through the windshield. The truck would have crushed me.

I ended up spending about four months in total in the hospital. Most of my time was in ICU with about two weeks in rehab. There were some difficulties. From a blood clot in my right arm to having another blood transfusion. These were just minor roadblocks in the grand scheme of things.

Within the walls of the hospital, it was not too hard to cope with everything going on. I did end up getting some use of my arms which I was ecstatic over, but I did miss just being able to go when I wanted to. Most of the time I had to stay in my bed, and I was not used to doing that.

I also had issues with suffering from dizzy spells and at one point I did have a full-on seizure reaction to pain medication. I woke up to realize I was allergic to it. The nurses did ask me why I did not tell them but up until that point I would very seldom take medication outside of over-the-counter pain relievers.

I was warned that it would be easier to cope in a hospital setting over the real world. I was told that one the biggest killer for people in my condition was taking their own life within the first two years which was something I was not going to do. So, I just did my best to do everything I could to make whatever working body parts I had stronger.

The thing was I realized quickly that things had changed drastically once I got back into a home environment. I did not get to go out like I would have liked and sadly I did not get to jump right back into school. I had a lot of adjustment to say the least.

I did a lot of soul searching this time. I came to realize who my real friends were. I did come realize who just wanted to use me as a status. I thought about how quick it was for life to be extinguished. I dealt with my own mortality. I wondered if the ones that I loved knew that I loved them if I had to pass on. I also realized that in a split-second life can change. It has been eight years now and even though I have come a long way I still have a lot more to learn to cope with and figure out. I just hope others might realize just how quick things can change. How could it happen in the blink of an eye.