Diabetes and A Jiggly Kind of Nostalgia

When I was first diagnosed with diabetes it was a really terrifying moment for me. Both my parents had died young just a few years earlier from complications with diabetes. Watching them wither away and die was a really horrifying experience for me that will probably scar me for the rest of my life. The months and years after my parents deaths, no matter what happened to me, my personal mantra was, "Well, at least I don't have diabetes!". Being diagnosed with first cancer, and then a heart condition, I thought to myself, "It's not so bad, at least I don't have diabetes!". And then one day my doctor sent me an email. To her that email probably meant nothing, just one of many she sent out that day, to me it was like getting a death sentence. I had diabetes. No words could say how terrified I was. I still had vivid memories of what the disease had done to my parents. To say I had food anxieties would be the understatement of the century. For months I ate almost nothing but egg white and spinach salad. I ate it for lunch and dinner every day. Some times even for breakfast too! I was too terrified to eat anything that tasted even remotely sweet. Even carrots or bell peppers were too sweet and completely off the table.

It took my diabetic dietitian three months to coax me into relaxing a bit and trying something a little sweet. What she finally talked me into was a little bit of sugar free jello. She reassured me repeatedly that there really wasn't much of anything in sugar free gelatin, and certainly not enough to harm me. She reminded me that sugar free jello was served in hospitals for a reason. It might sound strange to hear that a diabetes dietitian was trying to talk someone into eating something sweet, but she was right in doing so. Though I was eating correctly to lose weight (I was losing weight like crazy) I wasn't eating a balanced diet, I was eating out of fear, and sooner or later it would have caused health issues.

When I finally gathered up enough courage to try eating some jello, it was the first thing that could be called a dessert I had eaten in months. I was too scared to eat a whole serving, so for my first attempt, I only ate a few spoons full. Of course, I had my continuous glucose monitor on, and I was double checking my readings by checking my blood sugar with finger prick monitoring too. And I found . . . That my blood sugar was completely fine after words! But more importantly, when I took a bite of those jiggly red lumps, it brought me right back to my childhood. It was a little trip of nostalgia that at the time I had desperately needed. I hadn't eaten jello in years, long before I was diagnosed with diabetes. I had thought it was a kids food, and I had grown out of it. The soft, sweet taste reminded me of a time back when food was safe, and life was a lot more simple. That step back in time was the step forward I really needed to start learning how to eat not out of indulgence, but not out of fear either. To eat more carefully and thoughtfully, and still enjoying it.

Though the classic jewel toned jello from our childhood is always a tasty way to get a bit of nostalgia, gelatin doesn't have to be a kiddie dessert. It can be quite grow-up and post too. With a little extra time and effort, a wide variety of jiggly treats are available for noshing! The secret ingredient that makes this all possible is plain gelatin! That's right, when you have plain gelatin, you can make it any flavor you want. What I've found works best is picking your favorite beverage. Coffee gelatin is quite rich, tea gelatin has a wonderfully delicate flavor, and mojito flavored gelatin is a delightful way to finish up a meal. Here's a super simple recipe for your tasty new favorite dessert.

1 packet plain gelatin

2 cups very hot beverage (coffee, tea, infused water)

2 Tablespoons Truvia Stevia or favorite sugar replacement

Pour gelatin and sugar replacement in to bowl. Prepare whatever beverage you want: coffee, tea, or infused water. If you want mojito flavored gelatin, don't try to use alcohol. I'm not sure that will jell properly. Instead use extracts like mint and lime in water. Which ever beverage you choose, make sure it's quite hot, nearly boiling. Pour the liquid over gelatin powder and sweetener and whisk vigorously. Once all the powder is dissolved, divide the liquid into four small bowls and refrigerate for at least four hours. Serve once the gelatin has jelled up.