What a Decade Taught Me About Self-Care (That I Wish I Knew at the Start)
Introduction: The Self-Care Myths I Believed

1. Self-Care Is More Than Just Bubble Baths & Face Masks
The biggest misconception I had about self-care was that it was solely about pampering myself. While enjoying a relaxing bath or a spa day can be nice, true self-care involves nurturing yourself in ways that promote lasting well-being.
Self-care includes setting boundaries, nourishing your body with healthy food, getting enough sleep, and addressing your mental health needs. It’s about making choices that support your long-term wellness, even when those choices aren’t the most enjoyable or glamorous.
2. Rest Isn’t Lazy — It’s Necessary
For years, I mistakenly equated rest with laziness. I believed that to be productive, I had to keep pushing myself, even when I was exhausted. I now understand that rest is not just a luxury — it is essential for mental clarity, creativity, and emotional well-being. Burnout isn’t a sign of success; instead, it indicates that you have been neglecting your own needs. Allowing yourself permission to rest is an important act of self-care that enables you to show up as your best self.
3. Saying No Is a Form of Self-Care
I used to be a chronic people-pleaser, agreeing to everything even when it left me feeling drained. Learning to say “no” has been one of the most powerful self-care lessons I’ve discovered. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish; instead, it shows that you are being intentional. Protecting your time, energy, and mental well-being is essential. When you decline commitments that don’t align with your values or replenish your energy, you create space for what truly matters.
4. Movement Isn’t About Punishment; It’s About Joy
I used to see exercise as a punishment for eating “bad” foods. Now, I move my body because it feels good, not because I have to. Joyful movement — whether it’s walking, dancing, doing yoga, or strength training — should feel like a gift rather than a chore. Finding activities that you enjoy instead of forcing yourself to do workouts you dread makes all the difference.

5. Food Is Fuel, Not a Reward or Punishment
Diet culture taught me to view food as something to fear, control, or use as a reward. Now, I see food as nourishment rather than an enemy. Eating well isn’t about strict rules or feeling guilty; it’s about providing your body with what it needs to thrive. Mindful eating, intuitive choices, and balance are far more sustainable than restrictive dieting.
6. The Importance of Digital Detoxing and Mental Space
Ten years ago, I didn’t realize how much my phone and social media were impacting my well-being. Endless scrolling, constant comparisons to others, and being perpetually online drained my energy and self-esteem. Now, I prioritize digital detoxing by setting time limits on apps, taking breaks from social media, and focusing on being present in real life. Creating mental space has led to increased creativity, joy, and peace.
Conclusion: Advice to My Younger Self
If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self this: self-care is not selfish. It’s not about quick fixes or trendy fads; it’s about creating a life that feels rewarding to live every day. To anyone reading this: It’s never too late to start prioritizing yourself. Begin with small steps, stay consistent, and remember that self-care is an ongoing journey, not a destination. What self-care lesson have you learned over the years? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Over the years, I’ve learned that self-care isn’t just about spa days — it’s about daily habits that nurture your mind and soul. Using a journal or planner has been a game-changer for me, helping me track my self-care routines and stay intentional. If you’re looking for a tool to do the same, check out my collection here
About the Creator
Velma Lovemore
I’m Velma Lovemore. I write about self-improvement, healthy living, and simple habits to help you live with more intention, balance, and ease.



Comments (1)
I used to think self-care was just about treats, but it's way more. Setting boundaries and getting enough rest are huge. I also learned saying no isn't selfish. It's key to protect our time. And movement should be about joy. What self-care lessons have you learned that really changed your view?