The grass is pretty greener on the other side.

I remember it was April 13th 2024 when I opened my twitter account and so many headline news were there. First, it was Coachella night one. Lana Del Rey’s performance was all over the internet, Sabrina Carpenter blew a kiss to Barry Keoghan, and Billie Eilish surprise appearance shocked us all. But right after these eventful tweets, there it goes… The news about Iran attacks Israel and how World War 3 might possibly happen soon. What an irony.

It makes me sick watching people including myself still complaining about pretty little things. Reading these news makes me feel guilty. The guilt I felt living my comfortable life. The guilt I felt watching Modern Family in my nice living room. The guilt I felt eating my mother’s cooking. The guilt I felt wasting my money on some tennis shoes I haven’t used until now. How could all these people party all night with nothing to worry about while on the other side of the world there are literally people who are suffering, getting bombed, lost their families, and having no access to water?

I was the type of person who thinks that there is no such thing as “The grass is greener on the other side” . I used to think that it’s just a different shade of green. Now I get why I had that thought for such a long time. Because I was privileged enough to live a good life. And I was also privileged enough to be surrounded by other privileged people. This epiphany was also triggered by what one of my family relatives from outside of town said to me during Eid Mubarak.

She asked me why my English is so good and where did I learn speaking English. I was thinking to myself. Learning English has always been easy and comes naturally for me. Maybe I learnt it from Disney Channel and youtubers I was watching growing up. Or from The Hunger Games trilogy books I was reading when I was 12. Or just basic English subject from school. But after hearing my answer, she said she did not have the same experience. She did not grow up having cable TV, she did not watch American youtubers, there were no imported books in her town, and English was not taught well in her school. We grew up in a completely different surroundings. And it made me realize how privileged I was.

I did not come from a very wealthy family but it was enough. And I could not stop thinking how unfair life is comparing my life to my other family relatives from outside of town. Or being extreme, to the kids that are battling their life in Palestine. There is a saying that says “God gives the hardest battle to his strongest soldier”. And it got me thinking. Does that mean that I am his weakest soldier? Or does that mean that he couldn’t be more care less about me? Because out there, there are so many people fighting their hardest battle, while here I am still complaining about my 9–5 job.

But this also made me realize something. Maybe I am just too hard on myself. Because when comparing my life to my other friends, my life was not the easiest either. If I wanted to pity myself and having this victim mentality I certainly could. I just need to compare myself to my upper east side type of friends who don’t need to work 9–5 to provide for their needs, who come to the office using grab car instead of public transportation, who live in the center of Jakarta so they did not need to leave their house 2 hours early before an appointment, who live alone instead of still living under their parents roof, who travel around the world once every 2 months, who master the art of tennis easily, who never get anxious every time going to the office because they never made any mistake. I could do that and complain about how their grass is much greener than me. But I chose not to. I chose not to show people what I’m battling for. Because I choose to be content with what I have now.

This got me thinking. Comparing ourselves to the more unfortunate people is good for us. It’s a reminder to be grateful for what we have. To be helpful and more empathetic toward others who are not as privileged as we are. But on the other hand, comparing ourselves to the much more successful, richer, fortunate, whatever you call it… Could actually be a good thing too. Because if we look at it from a different point of view, it could gives us a sense of purpose. It encourages us to not just settle for what we have but rather aim for the sky.

So yes, the grass is greener on the other side. But it depends on ourselves for what we are going to do with our own grass.