You v/s My love for you

I am writing this and it feels like calligraphy-ing with pencil in lieu of My heart.

I have been in love with the person whose identity was hidden for me and you know right it is not umm…love if he/she is all known from tip to toe (basically he was stranger for me lol just kidding).

I was only aware about his name and his surname but the detailed data was basically fill-in-the-blanks for me.

I know it will be kind of forward for many people but I am also not lying.

Lasting for around 2 months and here i am post 4 years writing about him.maybe I still want to know more about my MYSTERIOUS RELATIONSHIP and ironically puzzle for me too!!!

It all started with the kiss on the first floor of his business cabin. I am talking about kisssssss? Did anybody say kiss? Yesssssssssss…let me explain myself and it is serious warning to all of my fellows that it is about to get real.

I was sitting on the couch and he was more like my brother cum teacher so I talked about my feelings (AREYYY feelings does not always mean about love it can be anything nahhhh!!!) and all of the sudden he kissed me and butterflies were lingering around my every cell and not just stomach duh!!

I was stunned and remained silent for about 20 minutes straight and that was pinkly bordered initiation mark of our relationship maybe and we started meeting up every afternoon between 1 to 4 pm for month.

But somehow at some stage it felt toxic because that relationship turned out so physically>>> emotionally!!and I was not at all okay with that but somehow I tried to elongate that bond.

According to SIR ISAAC NEWTON,there has to equal and opposite reaction for every action so if we apply practical logic then my this thing was not following his laws.we both lack abilities to be on the same page.

He wanted different things and I didn’t do what he wanted.

Positively,we both slipped harder than anybody on the banana peel.due to grand distance between our ages we had different personal preferences.

Gradually it got dragged into physical needs criteria and it became hard for me because being spiritual my first choice would be connection with each other’s soul and then et cetera.

Because of my immaturity,I broke up ruthlessly and I left him with his imprinted tears and soul inside my mind.

I hope and admit in here that he is doing good and sending his blessings for my future which will have treating patients as one of my duty.

Remembering my beautiful moments in CORPSE FLOWERED relationship that he accepted me when I was at my worst and if I say worst that means I was not so good at maintaining my personal hygiene and was hairy beast with partial hirsutism and blackheaded.😂for that I genuinely think he is the best person.

I am an idiot for not choosing him actually I am wrong here he should not be an option for me to choose he should have been THE ONE.

The loss I am at is because I was dead serious in that situation and still I don’t know what is taking so long to get out of him.my love still exists for him and it is HIM v/s MY LOVE now.

My one of the well wisher said yesterday to me that

YOU CANNOT UNLOVE THE ONE YOU LOVED ONCE.

Maybe I was passively listening when she said that to me but now that I am writing the sentence I feel the every letter that I wrote.

I am sorry love and I will definitely come up and heart out my apology for the phase that could’ve been better if it weren’t Me.❤️

P.S:- I am still learner and I believe learner never stops learning whether it is about my past relationship or my content you are reading now and I will definitely keep improving if you help me out in the comments and suggest.