You Have to Choose What Influences You and What to React On

I have been keen on being proactive in my undertakings. I was shaped that way through rigorous adaptations to source control beyond my diagnosed condition. I’m still taking maintenance meds for Bipolar but it’s reasonable to make it a goal to stop the medicine when things are all well — that I hope comes soon.

It wasn’t a one-way ticket move when I became more mindful of my thoughts and behaviors. It’s already three years after my diagnosis; and through those times, most of my irritability stemmed from irrational thinking. I would get mad for a lunch box that was prepared differently by someone from what I had in mind. My beliefs ramped up when I found my body wash bottle getting lighter each day only to smell it on my housemate which prompted me to send a long text message explaining how important the body wash was to me and how I only used it for special occasions. I was so bothered when other people used my valuables without permission, that I wrote a more in-depth hypothesis about that topic here. However, I’m still a human and I develop a great conscience when similar situations like that happen. I totally feel guilty when I find myself wrecking my relationships just because of stupid things that are out of my control.

Listening more to your conscience instead of passively leaning on reacting to whatever happens is a way to gain control and power. It makes you feel composed and cool — at least that’s how I see myself when I successfully thwart my reactive responses towards a more acceptable, meek, and open-hearted response. That’s why it is important to fish out negative thoughts. Without those irrational beliefs to help the negative behaviors become implemented, only the good ones will bear fruit. We are indeed the drivers of ourselves, the captains of our ships. We are in charge of our mental fortitude, but it doesn’t strip the fact that other people also become a way that influences how we see ourselves.

Growing up, we depend on our parents for our necessities, at least to most people that revolve around normal development. In Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory, this is known as Trust versus Mistrust. When the guardian or in most cases, the mother, can supply what the child needs, this kid will learn to trust his or her mother and give trust easier to people around them as they grow older, while navigating that they could be safe with the mother around. So forth in life many more people enter our social zones. Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory can explain the various systems that connect an individual starting from its Microsystem (e.g. friends, siblings, parents) until the Chronosystem (time). Even further you have Albert Bandura’s Social Cognitive Theory, focusing on how a person learns to imitate someone else through modeling or observing a set of behaviors. So, indeed there are many ways and theories to get influenced by the environment and I don’t particularly blame my “vulnerable to stress” self for being the way I am — only that I think I can be better. I find that having a growth mindset is pretty relevant too. With these external factors burrowing my way to knock out my stability, I find that reminding myself of what I want to achieve is the internal force that keeps me going and that keeps me from slacking either.

After my painful and shocking experience of losing my Mom at a young age in 2023, and being aware of the facts following her passing, it amazes me how I could withstand all that because I dedicated myself to listening more to that powerful force within. Having that kind of loss, and still regaining control of my emotions and thoughts is a surefire blessing and testament to my capacities. In Viktor Frankl’s words,

“He who has a why can bear almost any how.”

I believe even someone like me who started as a depressed unconfident kid that transformed into a person with so much life and love to give could do even more moving forward.