Perseverance... First Update

I was supposed to write this update in the beginning of April 2025, but I was intensely grieving the loss of my pregnancy. I am giving myself grace to persevere as I am able to - especially with the loss my little family endured as well as accepting my newest diagnosis and choosing to provide myself with medically indicated accommodations that other medical entities and providers have yet to provide me.

This year, I decided to adopt 6 new SMART goals in my resolution for 2025: perseverance.

1. In the next 3 months, I want to write 2 articles on Vocal per week in order to increase my visibility, to practice perseverance, and to continue improve the success of my blog in an effort to hit an average of $0.50 per month in reads. Baseline: I made an average of $0.40 per month on Vocal during the last quarter of 2024. Update March 31, 2025: I wrote 1 6 articles, or an average of 1.25 articles per week, with Perseverance being the first and My Little Baby M being the final article for the first quarter of 2025. I made an average of $1.04 per month on Vocal (for reads) during the first quarter of 2025.
2. In the next 3 months, I want to practice perseverance in my personal life by continuing to get more comfortable in saying no to nouns (people, places, and things - like events/appointments) that do not resonate with the future or peacefulness that I am working towards and only cave to peer pressure once a week (or less). Baseline: I caved to peer pressure an average of twice a week in the last quarter of 2024. Update March 31, 2025: I am getting more comfortable saying no, but I am still caving to nouns that do not resonate with the future or peacefulness that I am working towards more than once a week. I am not sure how many of these caves though are from peer pressure and how many are from being presented to me as my not having a choice in the matter. This has become a new revelation to me as a possibility as shown in a story here: TBD.
3. In the next 3 months, I want to practice perseverance in bettering my introspection skills by checking in with how I am doing and what I am experiencing at least 3 times per day - and then loving myself enough to give myself what I need in the moment (within reason, of course!). Baseline: I have been checking in with myself 2-3 times a day in December, but then only giving in to my needs an average of 1 time a day and instead using bad excuses like: I don't have time to rest/take care of myself; it is rude or inconvenient to ask for accommodations (like rescheduling an appointment, giving me a moment to think, or allowing me to write instead of speaking) when overwhelmed and better to just not burden others; it is too silly or ridiculous to get out of my comfort zone and simply be in the moment (like dancing to a song on the radio); or telling myself that I am only allowed xyz IF/WHEN I achieve some other goal instead of freely loving myself the way I try to love others. Update March 31, 2025: I've gotten better (yet worse) with my introspection skills, but I don't feel things in the same ways that a lot of people can relate to so my understanding of how I am actually doing is having to be "reprogrammed." I have to go backwards for problem solving in the same way that I did when I was in high school and struggling with Algebra - I know the answer, but to show you my work, I have to solve the problem in reverse! I am trying to love myself, but it has been a really hard 3 months and I feel like this is going to get harder before it gets better. *sigh* Here lately, even when I am asking for accommodations, I am getting told no... that the accommodations are too inconvenient for the professionals.
4. In the next 3 months, I want to practice perseverance in growing my business by working on either another manuscript or working on an audiobook for at least 3 hours per week. Baseline: I haven't been working at all on my longer term goals in business for the last 6 months - except for the 9 hours I spent the last 2 weeks of December to get Time In Space available on Kindle! Update March 31, 2025: I have not done any work on this goal at all. Between the pregnancy, stuff happening with my oldest two kids, a new diagnosis and wrapping my head around that, as well as now... the loss... I want to keep this goal, but I'm not sure if I will actually accomplish anything on it this year after all. *cries*
5. In the next 3 months, I want to practice perseverance in my journaling by writing in it at least 15 minutes every day (utilizing a timer) while reminding myself that none of my emotions are "bad" or should be avoided, to help my memories get onto paper so they are not stuck in my mind, and to help with my stress level. Baseline: I struggle with writing what I am feeling in the moment because of long-standing habits of frustration/sadness/anger needing to be avoided and because I am afraid of being in trouble or getting hurt by being too authentic and honest. Update March 31, 2025: This didn't happen in the last 3 months - mostly due to nausea. Currently it is on hold as my family and I are grieving, but... maybe here soon I can start this goal back up - especially as I have 130 entries of merely notes that I need to catch up on. *dejectedly sighs* No emotions are bad or should be avoided is something that I am not in agreement with currently and I'm also not sure that writing is doing anything positive for my stress level...
6. In the next 3 months, I want to practice perseverance in learning new things about myself and being more forgiving to myself by trying one new thing; going to a new place; or attempting a new, unscripted conversation with someone else at least once a week while being willing to walk away if it is not my cup of tea without telling myself that it was a failure or a waste of time. Baseline: trying a new thing/place/conversation once a week has become a every other week occurrence, but I struggle with accepting it as it is without the negatives if I didn't like it so I am wanting to practice reframing it as "I learned xyz is not for me/doesn't work in that situation!" instead of telling myself that I shouldn't have wasted time/energy/money on attempting it if it wasn't successful. Update March 31, 2025: I have learned a lot in the past three months, but most of the learning has been forced onto me with no regard for how I might feel or think about it. I'm getting the feeling that this year is going to be a lot of that: things happening to me... and not very many who stop to ask what it is that I may want, feel, or like. It seems like everyone else's needs and wants come first.

I want to leave my readers with this thought: goals are great, but life happens and it still shows perseverance and follow-through even if not all goals made had any real progress. Perseverance doesn't equate to perfection... it merely means that you still keep trying even if you fail a million times! *smile*

Do any of my readers have an update on their New Year's Resolution or a SMART goal they had made for themselves (with or without an update)? If so, I'd love to hear about it!