No Longer Your BBQ Man

OK y'all. I am officially resigning.

Being your BBQ go-to New Year's Day party man has been a pleasure all these years, but I am formally resigning from this role.

I have been cooking for everyone for years and years. My wife has complained about having to clean the place for the big parties I throw, even though I helped her. I lovingly prepared feasts, conversing about them yearly to whet your appetite.

My mom and Grandma taught me young that I shouldn't depend on anybody. I learned how to sew buttons, iron my clothes, and do my laundry. I knew how to do everything needed in the home and could do it just as well as any woman. I grew up in the South, and Southerners know how to cook. We always make enough for leftover meals. Of course, I made extra food for my guests to take home and provided take-home containers.

My wife can cook. Lord, that woman can cook. She's our Casserole Queen, but saves her dishes for us, thinking you all prefer my BBQ. I barbeque in the summer, but on New Year's Day, January 1 of each year, we made it all about eating ourselves silly. She would say, "Are you cooking for an Army?" I was; everyone would be sated and happy at the end of the meal and for several days after.

My old age has come up, and I want to rest a bit. I no longer go overboard - I make little doses of the beloved dishes. Sometimes, I make fried chicken wings, but mostly now, I cook grilled chicken thighs. We older folks can't be eating like we did when we were twenty! I will always continue to make my BBQ baby backs. Back in the day, my ribs were an all-nighter. And, no! I'm not going to give away any of my cooking secrets.

I remember one year, this ancient gentleman in the neighborhood came over. He'd flown in World War II and loved his neat whiskey, but another friend brought a delicious punch bowl of gin rickeys, a hit even with the old guy. Everybody was sipping cocktails and eating, and we played a game afterward that involved everybody. The whole room was full of people laughing and having the best time.

That year, I stayed up all night checking those ribs and preparing all the side dishes (collards, black-eyed peas, and more), which was a killer. I was up at 2:00 a.m., then at 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., and 5:00 a.m. By the time you arrived between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m., I was ready to go back to bed, but I had to finish up the ribs on the grill and be the best host.

Now I'm the old one, the tired one. I don't want to entertain 25 to 45 people in my house. I might go to Costco and get myself a big old pan of Mac and cheese, a Caesar salad, and some spiced and sauced ribs and heat them for a small group.

I resign - no longer am I your go-to barbecue guy.

Don't get me wrong, I still love cooking and socializing, and I love my friends and family. I hope you understand, and it's not a resignation due to a lack of appreciation. I'm tired and can't pull those all-nighters for the sweet, tender ribs. Please don't get salivating close to the end of the year, thinking I will call you to come over. Now's the time for my wife and me to get out of town for a restful vacation instead of making a feast.

I resign!

I tried to get my daughter to take over, and she wants to, except she lives two hours away, and it's hard to drive to our place early. Her kitchen's tiny, and she doesn't have a BBQ grill because they don't allow it in her little place.

So this is my notice to you all: I've resigned as chief BBQ man.

When I retired, the grill they bought me to barbecue for them at work was put in storage. I should have resigned from my BBQMan position, but I didn't feel ready to dump y'all and leave you alone on New Year's Day.

Now I'm tired. I resign. If anyone is willing to take over and wants pointers, I will gladly give them.

One thing I will make and share is my sweet potato pie. My wife, daughter, neighbors, and former coworkers say it's the best. It's not one of those sweet, gooey ones. It's delicious, and my wife helped me perfect the spices. I make several of them, and we eat them for breakfast sometimes! The only thing I don't do is roll out the crust; I buy ready-made. That's my one little cheat. No, I won't stop making the sweet potato pies, but I'm resigning from making a huge New Year's Day dinner. Next year, I'm sleeping in.

With love,

Your former BBQMan,

 RT

Copyright © 5/30/25 by Andrea O. Corwin

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