Memories: 9 May 2025

9 May 2025

8:30 am. My nervous system was so overstimulated from working on that cuff late into the night that I couldn’t sleep. I forgot to eat dinner too. So around 11:30 pm I got up and made 2 eggs on toast. I heated up a small tin of spaghetti and baked beans in the microwave.

The glass bowl I was heating it in, cracked on half. I sanguinely scraped off the food, the glass was a clean break, so I ate the food anyway.

Then I went to bed worrying about potentially ingesting tiny shards of glass. I imagined shredding my gut internally. I lay there, shaking with insomnia and anxiety. “You chose to eat glass, dimwit! It’s like your destructive love life. You chose these monsters…knowing it will leave you fallow and broken and cycling around with Death.”

Although I had bad reflex for several hours, I realised I was fine as far as the glass went. Once my gut got busy digesting the food I calmed down and drifted off to sleep.

I got up to pee about four times which is my pattern lately…even with the newly prescribed Tadalafil which is just a Tyrolean trilling yodelling “Viagra” in my waters. La, la, la not doing shit for me. Drugs rarely work. (Except maybe antibiotics or Vitamins!)

Day fourteen…two more weeks to go before I can legitimately quit that drug. Although I might skip it today as my urologist already texted me yesterday that I can go off it if it’s not working and making me sick. If I feel better, I will stop it altogether.

Always hanging in the balance between life and death like a fucking “Hanged Woman”. But I am strong. I survived everything so far. This is just one more thing….

9 May 2023

Second last gumnut done. It looks lovely. I had to do a proper soldering job. But I am happy with the results this time. I just have the last little gumnut to make a stem (bail!) for.

#titaniasrealm #ILoveSilversmithing #brisbaneartist #brisbane #eucalyptusgumnuts #gumnutembryo #magickhappensbabies #dayfourofsolderingmygumnuts #intrepidMamaT #loveisthelaw #flow #abundance #creativity #mindfulness #sterlingsilver #germansilver #835silver #thefaeriesmakemedothis #muchlovefromthehigherrealms #gratitudetothegods #delight #play

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https://youtu.be/yXq59c_TadQ

Today I worked on my boulder opal. This time I cut leather discs and 600 grit sandpaper, put it on a mandrel and gave it a polish, after also using a green silicone bur. But…my Dremel battery died so I took the time to take Beau and Charley for a walk.

When we arrived back home, I got stuck into polishing the gumnut embryo which had been re-soldered and pickled. It came up lovely. I ordered pizza for dinner and am now watching tv…exhausted but happy!

9 May 2022

SQUISH, POP, CICERO, Did it!

I had my mammogram, (squish!) then bought some groceries at Aldi (Pop!) then voted at Pre-Polling (Cicero!) and dealing with morons was painful…inane questions like “why are you voting early?” then “have you voted at a polling booth before for this election?”

I replied “No, why would I?” They replied “we have to ask the questions!” Shades of Nazi Germany. Actually no, you don’t, you could refuse to ask stupid inane questions that serve no purpose other than to insult the basic intelligences of your voters.

We need a better government that does not ask dumb questions and does a professional job of everything.

But done and dusted. Let’s hope and pray the people wake up from their brainwashed slumber and do the right thing by each other.

9 May 2021

Happy Mother’s Day. A day of mixed feelings for me but also the day my younger daughter was born on (although that year 1987 it fell on the tenth!)

So many toxic unhappy memories converge on this day but I will focus on the positive...all my gorgeous loyal loving “Mummies” who fearlessly and determinedly stepped into the huge chasm of disarray wrought by my own mother but who healed me, nurtured me, tried their best to protect me and guide me and even now love me in huge ways that are just immensely nourishing.

You wonderful Women know who you are!

I love you and am so grateful for you being in my life and all you have done to hold me to this mortal coil when my heart and mind was stretched so thin by trauma and grief and fear of never having a loving peaceful life that I tried very hard to let go of this existence.

Thank you for never giving up on me.

Thank you to the ancient ones also, who kept me here because they knew my faery tale was about to finally unfold in my personal book of life and all my best psychedelic dreaming were about to come true!

It’s astonishing but also wonderful.

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Crystal visited and brought me a gf brownie, a tiramisu and this gorgeous sunflower chocolate muffin.

She also brought me chicken curry that she made for my dinner.

Sweet girl, as she is working four jobs and in a play that opens this week.

“As you like it” with the Anywhere Festival.

Jarrod and I are going to see it on 19th May. Looking forward to it!

We had a lovely chat then she had to go off to work. I was happy to see her!

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9 May 2020

9:14 am today I woke up happy. Grateful to be alive and thriving in my own psychedelic dreaming!

I have had a few lovely weeks. Relishing the Becoming!

9 May 2019

I had another lovely day having an early birthday lunch with my beautiful friends, Lyn and her gorgeous daughter Danni. We really enjoyed our afternoon together. When we came back from lunch, we sat in my garden and chatted some more. Everything was peaceful and joyous.

I have had a great week. It feels great to be feeling well again (even though my chest is still a bit irritated). I have felt mentally clear and reasonably happy all week. I pray to all the gods that I shall keep improving and blossoming and Becoming!

Blessed Be the Holy One, the angels, the elementals, my healers, Gaia, and my soulful loving friends and pets.

Grateful happy woman here.

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9 May 2018

Yesterday the universe and my daughter led me to DJ City in search of speakers and mics for her job. I asked the staff how much a set-up for a nightclub costs. About $20k for a small narrow space. Hmmmm. Mama T needs to win lotto to fulfil her dream of owning her own nightclub.

But it’s a start. Manifesting and co-creating takes time and money and investorsssss. Lmao!

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Getting brake pads done tomorrow morning. Then will get new tyres. Then take my baby girl on a road trip to you know where! Exciting!

9 May 2017

I woke up feeling happy today. Thank you to my wonderful friends for your kind words, love and support. I am back on my feet, reintegrated for another day. Xxxx

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Almost finished pulling down the raspberry vines. But exhausted and Otto bin is full! I will have to finish the job tomorrow. Ugh!

Then I accidentally burnt Bobo with boiling water from the lemongrass tea I made, so quickly put ice packs on him. Freak out!

Hopefully he will be okay as he is going to the vet on Thursday to be desexed and have his hind dew claws removed. Buggar!

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Another gift from Sacred Space today. My Brindabella Raspberry Tiger finally bloomed. The last bud got masticated by a very large, very hungry Caterpillar so De Mama Tanya was not at all Amusèd and caterpillar creature bit the bitumin.

So this is the second chance of the poor rose bush to express her fecund creativity and blossom out on the Tree of Life, Man! (Then I picked it as it was so beautiful and so long awaited that I got a little excited).

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9 May 2016

1.18 am time to Schluff. Byron tomorrow. Bliss out.

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9.39 pm. Home from a gorgeous day at Belongil Beach Byron Bay. The sea was so warm I had a swim. Then later We all walked to Byron shops for falafels and then our favourite ice cream. I am so in love with that place!

The dogs loved every minute, running up and down the beach and sniffing and greeting all the other dogs. Beau even had a quick swim coming out to fetch his human sea goddess out of the surf.

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So in spite of all the negative toxic putrid crap that has happened to me or in spite of my best efforts or because I did not act or I was not aware or was denied all the information, or my hands were tied by poverty and disenfranchisement, I choose Life.

I choose to be happy. I choose to Win at the farcical game of life down the rabbit-hole.

Curiousity killed the cat but life is just a hat-trick. A gift. A joke. A brief wrinkle in time and a wormhole in space. A miracle or a cataclysmic seismic shift in consciousness. Now. Eternal presence.

Blink and it's gone. Blink again, real fast as you perceive the hologram. Take the blue pill. Drink the Koolaid. Eat the chocolate. Smoke the marijuana, but for the love of all that is holey moley avoid the heavy shit.

Dye your pubes purple. Paint the town red. Dress to impress. Walk the walk. Talk the talk. Funk your trunk. Shake loose the over-burdened caboose. Fly.

A stitch in time saves nine. Be Mine. Be yours. Merge with One-ness. Diverge into your own Authentic individualism.

Hold your ground. Hold your space. Face the hag. Kiss the princely toad who morphs into every woman's dream. But don't try to float it. It is dust. It is glitter. It is fake-real-fake. Real!

Hold me in your hearts. In your mind's eye. In your arms. Phew! BO. No go! Fans akimbo. Blast that mutant stench of putrescence away. Shake it off like a dog. Laugh. Begin again the pirouette of repose.

Who knows? Where it begins-ends-begins again. The wheel of fortune. The High Priestess. The Mage. The Lovers. The Fool. What kind of Fool am I? The very best kind.

9 May 2015

8.23 pm. It is really cold tonight. I will be dressing warm when I go out tonight.

For now Mushu and I are snuggling up on the couch. He's been in bed with Penny and I all day. He never leaves my side. Man Love, Pussy style!

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Audacious! That describes me this weekend. Facing my fears and doing what I do anyway. Money or no money. Anxiety or not. Facing my demons and dancing them into the ground. Living and loving life.

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For my real Mothers. The ones that gave and still do give, a shit about me. A very special one that still feeds me in my 50's. I love you, Lyn!

Lyn Sloane: We mother each other when our mothering wears out on ourselves!!! You for real too, ya no:)

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Last night was electric. There was so much love in the room. Everyone was wonderful to me! Carmen met up with me. I wore these long Dominatrix-looking boots Sarah gave me a year ago.

I looked great but the boots started falling apart on my walk from Margaret St to the casino. The sole fell off. So I said to Carmen I would dance as long as I could. 2 hours later the platform fell off. Karen and Carmen came with me for the ride to go home to change into short boots. Then back we went for our epic dancing.

Later Nena arrived with her friends. I noticed Stef sitting in his own. He has always been lovely to me in his awkward way so I led him to the dance floor to join our group of ladies and we danced as well. We all had a fantastic time, apart from my left leg hurting at the end of the night, along with Tischsia's sciatica. We are amazing how we keep going!

It was weird as I had so much anxiety about going out last night, without money that I considered staying home alone. Things went wrong. First the car park at the casino. I had to move my car. Then the boots, slowly disintegrating until midnight. I was indomitable. I just solved each issue as it arose and nothing deterred me from a good night out. Not even Lana's malicious pointing and leering.

The interesting thing was most of our group of women wore animal prints or neutral colours so we all colour-coordinated as though we planned it. Group telepathy!

9 May 2014

4.11 am. Finally in bed. I went dancing at Irish Murphys after getting my car back from Crystal. I had a nice time. Then I got home and finished the vacuuming. Chatted on Paltalk a short while. Now off to sleep I hope.

9 May 2013

I had a lovely afternoon with Crystal. She has been busy setting up her new Business "Clown Play" but took a break to have an early dinner with me at Grill'd and we browsed the Emporium which is close to where she lives.

We also had a look at the Art Shop and I was very naughty and bought myself 3 glass paints. So I have something to continue painting jars with, for my garden lanterns.

I was rather tired today, but that will be due to the fact that I had major insomnia two nights ago. Takes a bit for me to reconfigure my body and mind after losing so much sleep.

Last night I went to Irish Murphies to listen to the live music which I really enjoy. I came home early as I was so weary but Lockie plays a mean guitar and it was nice to just sit back and listen and sometimes to sing along.

Today Crystal taught me how to play "Somebody that I used to Know" by Gotye on the Ukelele. It's my favourite song so I will keep practising it until I get it right.

9 May 2012

9 May 2011

Nanny Dubs: Tanya Arons, great that your girls came to see you on Mothers Day. It could be a sign of great things to come for you & your girls. I hope so, you deserve that. Life is too short to stew over trivial things. Your a great person.

9 May 2010

Had a busy week, bought Tinker Tink the possum, her very own house, staked my non-fruiting Dragonfruit thingy to stop it eating into the paintwork of my house. Potted new blue pots out front. Dug in raspberry vine, and Jarrod installed the Possum house in the tree next to my front door and my wooden blind in my room. Yayyyyyy!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons