Lacey Ash Beach

I hope you knew better than to read the word "beach" in the title and think this was about a sunbathed shore. No sir. I came here to get shit in check. (Beach, you heard me.) It's time to step your hustle up.

Originally I planned to start a whole different project for the entrance to September, but I'm gonna' have to pivot for this one. I'm a little too eager to compose what's been on my heart in the recent days of 2025—a piece of writing that I'd much rather paint on the walls of a workplace restroom. Here's a little remedy to help vaccinate the excuse-making-slouch mentality. If you're interested, I'll do the honor of breaking it all down, so you and whoever else can roll it up and smoke it as slow as you'd like. Let's get it.

The Bigger Picture

I'll set this off with an obvious mantra that people magically seem to forget the most: You don't work, you don't eat. I want to make sure we're crystal clear on that before going any further. In the real world, you'll discover many a person living in the delusion that work is something they can avoid for a lifetime.

I also want to remind you that HAVING A JOB and WORKING are two different things. In fact, I'd say most people are looking for jobs that require little work, or are going to the jobs they have just to not work at all.

The meaning of WORK exceeds beyond what is done in a position of a job. Even outside the realm of an employer, WORK is what threads together the fiber of our lives. In fact, maturity made me realize that working is something I enjoy! Work itself is something I love, for it is the process by which we change, build, maintain, and grow.

There is no getting away from it. Being a parent is work and running a family is work. You work as an employee and you work even more as your own boss. Even if you don't bear the burden of having to make money, it takes work to own a home or to be a citizen. If you plan to be anyone or have anything in this life, you will most certainly have to do work. Running away from it, time after time, is just a fool's game with a prize of being a loser.

I knew from a young age that there was no point in complaining about the inevitable. I knew that leaning fearlessly into labor and responsibilities would accustom me to the art of the grind and equip me for a lifetime. Even in my real life, I can't help but to encourage these average joes to do the same. Work isn't going away any time soon, so we may as well get used to it. If you've got a good head on your shoulders, then you might feel like some of this text is plainly obvious stuff. As for the kids in the back who haven't figured it out, I'd like to address a few points.

Gear Up

I can't speak for everyone, but personally, I have no desire to endure an entire application-interview process just to be frightened off by a little sweat. Many tend to forget that mankind has invented many tools for the sake of conquering many mountains. It seems to me that the common kind would much sooner quit a job from ice cold conditions than to get a new jacket and double-up on socks. The inability to adapt to challenging duties is an ingredient for failure and perhaps a good way to sell yourself short.

(Check out my other story Between Checks and Trophies on Vocal! I talk about 'setting yourself up to win'—a similar subject.)

One thing excuse-makers often fail to do is actively consider what to modify in the inventory and atmosphere for the aim of 'softening' up hard work. Of course most employers provide workers with the supplies needed to fulfill their tasks, but the real issue normally arises in one of two forms: (1) Failure to take advantage of available tools, or (2) Limiting one's self to only what's provided to them.

It's okay to LOOK like you're working at work. Don't be too cool for school. If your job provides tool belts, gloves, walkie talkies, jet packs, and X-ray goggles, you better use every last piece if it translates to painless labor. If the gloves they provide are too thin for protection, order the Hello Kitty gloves you saw on Amazon, then get back to work! Don't act like those blisters on your hands are a reason to put in your two weeks' notice.

Even in my current life, I've taken on a new role, and I remember having a few peeves irritating my peace earlier on. "This uniform sucks, you can't even tell I work here. We need badges or something! I'll have to go get a lanyard," I'd said. In the midst of working product to shelves, another alarm went off in my head. "Being on my knees hours at a time with a floor like this is not gonna' work. I'll regret it when I'm older. At least Walmart gave us kneepads!" There I was, making plans to spend my own money just for the sake of staying in the race. But after a couple visits to the backroom, I'd learned we already had it all. The problem? You would never know by looking at the other employees, because no one is utilizing any of it. It's as if my coworkers and I are under the same roof, playing the same game, except they have their settings on "difficult" and don't even know. (Let's see who's quickest to tap out.)

Coffee

Just drink it. I'm not even gonna' bother with wording that elegantly. Take advantage of caffeine. Now, I know someone has to be reading this thinking, "Boy, we don't need YOU to be the spokesperson for COFFEE." You'd be freakin' surprised. In my real life, out of all the people I've ever made the suggestion, only a couple have taken heed. Most of the time, I'm met with a naysayer. "It doesn't do anything for me." "It's nasty to me." "It messes with my stomach." "I've never been a coffee person." You mean to tell me that you've never been a coffee person, but you have no problem being a standing-around-doing-fucking-nothing person? Coffee beans come from the Earth, after all. (I can think of another thing that comes from the Earth that will likely COST you a job, and I bet you're just fine using that.)

This piece of the writing is not so much about advocating for coffee, but more so a chance to mitigate any negligence to appreciate or utilize its existence. To me, caffeine isn't necessarily just for "energy." It restores ENTHUSIASM. Before a coffee, my thoughts are a bunch of papers laying wildly on a desk in my mind. After coffee, it's like all the papers are filed into neat, categorized stacks, and I know what every sheet contains. I know what I need to do and how to approach it. Plus, it's like I look in the mirror and remember who the hell I am! I laugh at the doubts I had when I rolled out of bed that morning. When a sip of a beverage can work that kind of magic on your mental, it confuses me that there are people with jobs who refuse to drink it. Anyone who intends to perform well will openly consider how to tighten their focus.

I've come to the conclusion that a caffeinated drink is the perfect device to weed out a SLOUCH. Imagine this: It's the top of the day and there's lots to be done. You look over to see someone whose face has confusion and cloudiness written all over it. It's the kind of sluggish and careless expression that screams "this person does not want to be here". If you're like me and you say, "You want a coffee or a Coke or something? I got you! Any size, it's no big deal. It'll pick your spirits up!", and that person just immediately declines? You probably got yourself a Lacey Beach. Lackadaisical people have no interest in a pick-me-up, because it robs them of the opportunity to look helpless. They're depending on lethargy as a hall pass to do the bare minimum. They don't want assistance, they want enough sympathy to get away with doing less than the rest.

Just recently, I worked a Friday morning with a woman I'd just met. This is only our third time on a shift together and she's complaining to hell and back already. She made it very clear that she was SO tired and her stomach hurt SO bad and she didn't know WHAT it was but she HAD to leave EARLY because she just COULDN'T do it that day. How much you wanna' bet this woman did ten cartwheels to her car and landed in the splits as soon as she was off the clock? Probably went home to an intense game of dodgeball with her kids too.

But before I conclude my Drink Coffee Campaign, I also want to remind readers that caffeine collaborates with the stuff in your gut in order to give you the boost you need. A man who eats meat and veggies is going to have a different caffeinated experience than the guy who has funnel cake for lunch and dinner. It amazes me that someone could wake up to have a grilled cheese stuffed-red velvet sponge cake swirled-sloppy joe brownie batter blitz for breakfast, all to turn around and think that a coffee is what's messing with their stomach. (As a matter of fact, there's a reason I'm highlighting coffee more than other sources of caffeine. God knows what they put in the other stuff!) Try to clean up some of the foods in your diet, so coffee can become a friend you can depend on. Then get to damn work!

Tasks, Not Times

I've said a million times that the secret to getting through work is to "actually do work at work". Clocking in and immediately counting down the minutes to go home is practically a form of self-torture. One can only torture themselves so many times before they decide not to show up altogether. Next thing you know, they're back into a job hunt, hoping and praying for something they don't dread. The problem is not always the job though. You have to make a choice to be present and active.

Work is much more rewarding and easier to endure when you choose to participate. The often forgotten reality is that there's lots of moving parts when it comes to running a business, so there's hardly a day when there's "nothing to do." Once you have an understanding of how much there actually is to be done, you might find yourself feeling like an eight-hour day is not nearly enough. You can only benefit when you go to work with intentions of occupying yourself.

My very first job was being a bagger at H-E-B, and even then I knew better than to look at the time. I would tell myself, "I'm not checking the clock until I've helped twenty-five customers", then I'd mark tallies in ink on my hand. Sometimes, I would only get to eighteen or nineteen tallies before being told to go on break. It would feel so quick! When I advanced to cashier, I took on the same practice, but I'd also religiously place a sticker over the register's screen to cover the digital clock. My days were much less difficult when I prohibited use of clocks and watches, so I've maintained those habits throughout the years.

Even now, I can hardly stand to be around someone who yaps about the time every waking moment. Ironically, as I was planning the writing for this story (late August), I met a new hire who had exactly that habit. Just when you think you're getting lost in your work, she's booming out of nowhere, "IT'S ONE 'O CLOCK, SO I'M LEAVING FOR LUNCH!" Great! Now I know I have more than two hours left. Ugh!

When you step foot onto the premises of your workplace, do it independently; Do it without worrying about what the hours and the minutes are getting into. Line up some tasks for yourself and get lost in scratching them off the list one by one. Time flies when you keep busy, so sometimes being involved is the perfect way to fast forward to the part where you getthafuckupoutta' there.

Do it While You're Off

Otherwise, you'll be anxious all day. Now this is a page even I need to take out of my own book. Work really isn't all that bad of a place to be. However, when comparing it to other places you'd rather be, it starts to feel worse and worse to undergo.

If you have a girlfriend in town, a new PlayStation at the house, or even a long list of things to get done—WORK starts to seem like the biggest obstacle in your life. Yet when we're outside the walls of our work, we don't always choose to entertain the things we claim to be kept from. This is where we screw ourselves.

Cashing in during your off periods will fortify your patience for work. Funny enough, the more time you waste at home, the more wasteful work feels. When a lot of things in your life remain undone or unattended to, it easily starts to feel as though "work" is the only thing you do; It starts to feel as though "all of your time" is going to one thing and not the other, which will slowly set you on a path to resenting your job.

Capitalizing on your free time helps keep your mind content. This is the time where you tie on all the other pieces that make your life whole and stable. Spend some quality time with your mom. Go out with your man. Beat that level on that game. Visit the post office finally. Clean your bathtub. Get your oil changed for god sake! When you clear your to-do list with the free time you can spare, you're less likely to be distracted or antsy while you're on the clock.

If anything, we can blame work for a lack of energy, but time is something we waste on our own. Think about all of the off days you slept away. Now think about the number of things you could have gotten done while you slumbered. Don't worry. If you can't remember them now, you'll definitely remember them while you're at work. (And that's when you'll be ready to go!) Please read this paragraph over again and recognize that it depicts a cycle that you want to break. Get things done when you have the chance so you can focus on what's in front of you at all times.

Don't Believe The Hype

Hype in this context can be defined as anything between the bullshit your broke friends tell you, all the way up to the hollow entrepreneurial advice you see on social media. The more I listen to the masses, the more I believe the agenda is to normalize laziness and trick people into underappreciating their lives. I think a big part of why some people lose motivation to hustle is because they're listening to a guy in a TikTok ad explain how he built a billion dollar company while he was still in his mother's uterus.

Stop listening to all the noise when it comes to how you show up at work. The formula is as simple as this: Get a job, bring something to the table, aspire to elevate. Go hard in anything that you do, even if you don't plan to do it forever. If it makes money and you like it, keep doing it. (If it aint broke, don't fix it.) Just don't forget your dreams in the process. There's a lot of stuff out there coming from the mouths of people who seem to know it all, and most of it might just set you up to fail. Before you go doubting the work you do, I want to remind you a couple of things.

(1) Most people who have negative things to say about jobs are people who are not good at them. Please remember that even people who are lazy and irresponsible can be quite intelligent. Unfortunately for them, they use their intelligence to concoct delusions that they then sell to other people. It's always the person who does nothing at work telling you how you're wasting your time or overworking. It's always the person who stands around looking stupid all day, telling you how they don't try at work because "this is not what they want to do." It's always the person wasting $30 a day on DoorDash telling you how they don't get paid enough to work hard. Nine to five jobs are not the enemy, they are actually useful tools; Things we can take advantage of until we get our ducks in a row. It's completely normal (and mature) to go to work, make an effort, and appreciate what you have. Be careful not to consider the words and opinions of people who simply hate structure. You're doing amazing, sweetie.

(2) Most of the stuff online is a marketing tactic. If you haven't figured it out by now, social media and real life are practically two different worlds. The part people forget is that social media is a place where illusions can run wild. Examples of these illusions can be as massive as the fake news from political agendas, or as insignificant as your cousin who looks rich online but really has nothing going for himself.

In this day and age, social media has become one of the most prevalent ways to push brands and grow businesses, which means more and more of these "illusions" exist as product of an effort to gain customers, followers, and clients. One of the most popular approaches is to make viewers feel as though they're not doing enough or even convincing them that their livelihood is in jeopardy. Every time you scroll, you see someone telling you a conspiracy about the job market or a hack for making more money while you sleep. Don't believe the hype! Half these people are selling books, selling subscriptions, looking for employees, or trying to keep their views up so their sponsors don't fade away. Shit don't be as bad as it sounds, so you have no business questioning your work.

At one point, I got on Instagram so many times and saw people saying that the job market was in such a bad place and nothing was available—so bad that McDonald's won't even call. When the time came for me to need another job, I went on 6 interviews and had a job within five weeks of even looking. That means zero points for the Instagram experts.

Even at my last job, I worked with a dude who would always ask me, "Why do you even try when you can just be replaced?" This guy watched me get two promotions and became one of my biggest haters at work. He also later took a position that I had before him, which means he started trying more. Looks like I win again. ME—The guy who doesn't make excuses not to work; The guy who's not out here listening to Instagram girlies and modern-day hippies tell me how to feel about the way I make a living.

F is for Friends Who Do Stuff Together

Speaking of "The Hype", another popular notion seems to be that "work is not a place for friends." To a certain degree, that may be true, but it doesn't hurt to get along and make connections. As a matter of fact, I'd say it's a key factor for all the people who manage to stick it out with the employers they have. In my experience, not having friends is actually the main reason that people quit jobs in a heartbeat. Oh, the irony.

I often say that people are what make a barren place feel like a lavish world. The people around you are what make your experience fuller. When there's not a single soul with which you can share laughter, share complaints, or even share a slow day with, work is just going to feel more and more like a detention center; A colorless, rigid place of rules and duties where time just drags.

I got a job at a department store when I was nineteen years old, and I remember being so excited after managing to negotiate higher pay. As a young dude with experience in retail, I was ready to kick down doors and make some easy money. "Hell, I could prolly become a manager at this little place," I thought. Plot twist: I left that job within a few freakin' days.

To this day, that store holds the record on my list for Job Soonest Abandoned. You know what I've said most when talking about my experience? "Everybody was lame, I swear. It was all dorks!" Don't get me wrong, the hours were scarce too. I got the pay I wanted but learned later that getting sent home early was a routine practice. However, I mighta' stuck it out a little longer had there been someone nice to look at or even just shoot the shit with. As soon as I realized I'd signed up for a shorter check, it was beyond easy to leave those bozos behind.

Even in jobs I liked, I've watched people quickly lose their motivation after we've fallen out. I would start to realize that maybe I was their reason for coming around all along. It's amazing how fast a person can plot an escape after fumbling their last ally. There's no doubt in my mind that removing a person's buddies from the equation will either slow them down tremendously or trigger a vanishing act altogether. In many cases, what appears to be an episode of crippling tiredness is truly just the dejection of not having anyone to relate to.

It helps to have people to kick it with at work. You don't have to be their besties, you don't have to trust them with your personal business, you don't even have to enjoy them away from work. Just don't fall into the fallacy that being anti-social is good for the long game. It makes a significant difference to have comfortable dialogue with someone around you. Otherwise, you're more likely to feel bored, used, and invisible—none of which motivates you to show up and do your part.

At the end of the day...

Part of growing up means practicing ACCEPTANCE, and a good way to start is to realize that work has to be done. In most seasons of our lives, for as long as we live, there will be work to do. If you spend precious energy training up to be a professional excuse-maker, you will trick yourself out of growth and a good life. Instead of trying to discover convincing new ways to bow out of the race, put your game face on and demolish everything in your path that looks like an obstacle. More importantly, make it your business to rip the masks off useless people and figure how to never be like them! Life is a beach that deserves to be beautiful, so tell all the Lacey's you know to get their ashes up!