Knuckling down

February has been all about building that routine I talked about last month. This month I’m trying to find a balance that doesn’t leave me burned out, but still keeps me doing the things I want to do. Towards the end of Feb I started feeling really fatigued, so I don’t think I’ve quite got it right yet.

Read on for my monthly recap, where I take a look at the areas of my life that are important to me, that I’m working on or trying to improve.

Reading

I finished two books this month, which was my goal, so I’m happy with that. It’s still below what I’d ideally like to be reading, but I’m struggling with some of the books I have on the go at the moment. Although I’m a proud poly-reader, I might have to try and focus a bit more to get through some books on my list and kick me back into gear. Even though I’m trying to focus on reducing what I’ve currently on the go, I still added two more books to my in progress pile. I do have a plan to bring this number down though!

Finished

• The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat by Oliver Sacks. I love reading Oliver Sacks’s books, they’re always so interesting and bizarre. Some of the language is now a bit outdated, but as long as you are able to recognise that it was the language in use at the time the book was written I think it’s ok.

• Lud-In-The-Mist by Hope Mirlees. I wasn’t really taken with this book at all. I read it to see if there was any connection between this Lud and the Lud in Stephen King’s the Waste Land. Now that I’ve finished this I can go back to reading King, but based on the little I remember from my last read through, I don’t think there’s much connection at all, if any. Aside from that, I found the book a bit of a tough read, I couldn’t build any rapport with the characters and I was hoping for more fantasy and fairy action, but it was all quite mundane.

In progress

• Winter’s Heart by Robert Jordan. No progress on this one at all this year. It’s a quite a ways down the list for getting finished too.

• The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. Have made decent progress on this. Less than a quarter of the book to go. It’s been a slog though, I definitely won’t be reading the sequels. This is high priority to finish so that I can return the books to the friend I borrowed them from.

• Dark Iron by Pierce Brown. Only a little bit of progress here. My loan came up from the library but I was pushing to get Lud-In-the-Mist finished first, so by that time that was done I only had a week left on this loan. I listened to what I could, but now I’m back in the queue for it again. Currently says there is about a four week wait.

• Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake. No progress on this one as I haven’t borrowed it from the Library again. This one is mid-priority.
• The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. No progress on this one this month. I’m going to bump this one up the list a bit, because it was highly recommended by a friend.
• Witchmark by CL Polk. Really enjoying this one, but it’s taking a long time to get through because it’s my bedtime story. Even though I’d love to just power through and finish it, I’m going to leave it as bed time book and enjoy and savour the process.
• I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda Hart. This is one of my guilty new starts. It’s a fairly new release and I put a hold on it right away, not expecting to get it for a while. I borrowed it since it might be a long wait until I can’t get it again, and also I’m quite interested in hearing Miranda’s story. It’s non-fiction and about her struggle with chronic illness. Reading this is my top priority so that I can finish it before it has to go back.
• The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers. No progress on this one this month. This one is down bottom of the list priority-wise.
• The Waste Lands by Stephen King. Now that I’ve read Lud-In-The-Mist I can get back into this. I think I’ll do the next chapter of this soon, as bit of a reward, to keep me going. I love these books so reading them is never a chore for me. But I do still want to take it slow and make them last.
• The Kingdom of Copper by SA Chakraborty. I started this almost by accident. I wasn’t thinking properly when I borrowed it and now I’m committed. I’m really enjoying it though. I’m not sure what about it catches me so much, but I’m already a good third of the way though.

So my priority for getting though these books is below:

Eye reading:

1. I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda Hart. This needs to be finished before it’s due to go back.
2. The Waste Lands by Stephen King. Read the next chapter/section for the podcast companion, and as a bit of a treat.
3. The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. Get this finish so I can return the books to my friend.
4. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Finish this so I can talk about with my other friend.
5. The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers. Knock this one off the list.
6. Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake.
7. Winter’s Heart by Robert Jordan.

Ears reading:

1. Dark Iron by Pierce Brown. When it’s available. If not available, then read the next in line.
2. The Kingdom of Copper by SA Chakraborty.
3. Witchmark by CL Polk.

I find that I’m struggling a lot with eye reading at the moment, I think it’s because I’m that bit fatigued. I tend to just fall asleep within a couple of pages when I even get the time to read, which is pretty much just at bed time.

Health

Apart from this weird fatigue that has come over me the last couple weeks, everything is going well here.

Physical fitness is improving, I’ve hit PB’s all but one week at parkrun. We’ve been to Muay Thai twice each week, and S wants to push for a third session as well. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I think I’ll stick at two a week for a while. I need to have a hard think about whether I want to push for low level comps, or only train for fitness.

My weight is stubbornly staying the same, despite two MT sessions and a run each week. I feel like my diet is better as well, so I was hoping to see some change, but no such luck. I’m a little disappointed, but still happy that I’m feeling fitter and although I still have a bit of a belly, I generally look more like how I want to as well.

I’ve been walking to work daily, and walking home usually twice a week. For one week I used a stand up desk at work, and I did like it, but my feet didn’t. I had a mat to stand on, but I still had a lot of heel pain. It was also the same week that my fatigue started, so I think they were related. I’ve gone back to sitting desk for now and still getting some heel pain, it’s a lot less. I’m still feeling the fatigue, but trying to balance that.

I did not do any weight sessions at all during the month.

Diet has been ok. With all the after work activities I’ve been trying to batch cook, so that we can just pull something from the freezer for dinner. I’m already running low on ideas though. I’ve been better with snacks in the evening though. I’ll have dessert, but not as many snacks. It’s hard on weekends not to indulge though and I think that’s where most of the damage is done.

My mental health has been pretty stable. I started an online thing offered by my health care service, to help with depression and anxiety. I’m not sure how it will go, but even though I don’t feel depressed *right now* I’m noticing a lot of things that are usually signs of depression in me. One of them is this fatigue I keep mentioning.

I’ve been having this feeling, and I’m calling it fatigue, I don’t know what else to call it. It’s the low level of tiredness, not necessarily sleepiness, but physical tiredness. It’s there and constant, but it’s not bad enough that it stops me from exercising or doing things. I’m sleeping ok, generally. I fall asleep quickly and I often wake up naturally just before my alarm. I wake up in the night sometimes, but rarely have trouble getting back to sleep. I have a really strong desire to just spend a day in bed. This isn’t a feeling I’ve had before, and I don’t really know how to describe it. It just a pervading tiredness, but it’s not actually stopping me from doing anything. When I first noticed it, I made a doctors appointment, but I ended up cancelling because I felt like it was a waste of time and money to go. I’ll just try and get a bit more rest and not over do it.

Writing

The Feb writers group had a fun and useful activity for tapping into creativity. It was worth going for that, but the rest of the meeting was incredibly tedious. Some of the attendees are very opinionated and vocal and have been going there a long time so feel that they should be listened to. I’ll pay the fees and keep going, but I’m not sure it’s going to be as valuable as I’d hoped.

The only thing I wrote this month was my short story for the prompts challenge. I did it in a couple of hours the weekend before it was due. I didn’t manage to build any kind of regular writing practice at all.

Next months prompt has a 2500 word count, so I’m going to have to work on it during the month, I won’t be able to get that much out in one sitting.

Book of Stitches

Still mostly just working on the piece for S, but I’ve been feeling pretty inspired which is nice. I started a new WIP that I’ll take to Guild and the project group, as I think they’ll approve more of that than cross stitch.

Embroidery Guild left me with some mixed feelings. I love seeing some of the work these ladies create, but I also feel like I definitely don’t fit there. I feel like I’d be laughed out of the place if I told them I’m a ‘designer’. That’s probably an unfair assumption by me, but when they are correcting you on basics, it’s a real blow to your ego.

I didn’t do much on Etsy this month. I put up the Gatsby pattern and the notebook, but I don’t think either have had any views at all. I got a couple of surprise sales though. Here’s the stats for the last 30 days. Previous 30 days in brackets.

Views: 146 (138)

Visits: 91 (87)

Sales: 3 (2)

Working on better optimising Etsy is the kind of thing I want to do in the evenings and on weekends, but I usually either end up stitching or gaming.

Finances

I feel not so bad about finances for the moment. Although with the increase in energy prices, still looking at a second vehicle and potentially three gym visits a week, this might not last long.

I made a repayment plan for my credit card and HECS debt and, if I pay just the amount I’ve budgeted I’ll pay off the credit card by the end of October 2026, and then my HECS debt by the end of June 2027. If I can make any additional payments on top of that from Etsy sales, or suave budgeting, that will all help to pay it off sooner.

I’m trying to find budget-friendly meals that can also be frozen and are also fairly healthy. I’m making a concerted effort to keep the groceries budget as low as possible and not buy things we don’t need. It’s crazy how expensive groceries are though, every single week I’m surprised at how quickly it adds up and how little we get.

Work

Work is still kind of weird. I’m starting to feel more useful, but I’m really doing the work of an administrator, not a team leader and I’m not sure if everyone is fine with that, or if there’s something more I’m supposed to be doing.

I’ve hired a new team member to replace the one who resigned just after I started. She will start at the end of next month, so I have that long to figure out how I’m going to train her in a role that I barely understand myself.

I think I’m committed to just doing what’s required at work. No above and beyond, not trying to distinguish myself.

Actionable goals

Let’s see how I went with last month’s goals.

• Finish two book

Completed. I was hoping I might make it three, but I’m happy with two.

• Go to Muay Thai at least once a week.

Completed. I think I actually went twice each week.

• Go to parkrun every Saturday.

Completed.

• Do one weights session a week.

Failed. I’m not sure what the best way is to work this into my schedule. Even though I want to do it, it’s obviously not a priority, so I need to reconsider if it’s something I want enough to make time for it.

• Put the Gatsby notebook up on Etsy.

Completed.

• Put one pattern up on Etsy.

Completed.

• Finalise repayment plan and calculate my try Debt Free Date.

Completed.

So what are my new goals for this month?

• Exercise three times each week. This could be any combination of Muay Thai, running or weights

• Put one pattern up on Etsy

• Finish two books

• Work on this month’s prompt challenge each weekend

I’ll report back next month with updates!