Dear Boss

Dear Boss,

I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for the chance you’ve given me. It has truly been a blessing—an experience that has enriched both my professional journey and personal growth.

I have learned so much from this opportunity—lessons both practical and metaphysical.

Some of the practical things I’ve learned include:

• How to bathe another person
• How to brush someone else’s teeth
• How to clean and care for an incontinent individual, including toileting
• How to feed a person with dementia
• How to prepare nutritious meals for someone with special dietary needs
• How to calm someone experiencing a psychotic episode
• How to remain composed during those psychotic episodes
• How to recognize the early signs of a UTI—especially when the patient had eight UTIs in a four-month span
• How to communicate with a completely blind person living with dementia
• How to safely transfer a patient with Astasia from bed to wheelchair, from wheelchair to car, from one wheelchair to another, and onto other medical equipment
• How to clean hearing aids
• How to manage high glucose levels
• How to measure and interpret blood pressure, glucose levels, heart rate, and oxygen levels
• How to administer physical therapy
• How to give medications safely
• How to keep a household organized during times of illness and chaos
• How to stretch a budget to make ends meet
• How to safeguard showers, toilets, beds and wheelchairs to prevent falls
• How to know when it’s time to take a patient to the emergency room
• How to effectively communicate with medical staff - to get the information I need and to ensure they are doing their jobs
• How to find different types of financial and care assistance through government safety net programs
• How to use Google to educate myself on countless aspects of caregiving

On the metaphysical side, I’ve learned:

• The power of saying “I love you”
• How to love unconditionally, no matter the circumstances
• How to speak gently, even when I’m pushed to the brink of my own sanity
• How to radiate positive energy, even when sleep-deprived
• How to remain thankful in life’s most difficult moments
• How to summon physical strength when I’ve already endured ten hours of physical demand
• How to stretch and exercise in order to keep my body in optimal condition
• How to stay calm when her health took a sudden turn for the worse
• How to maintain peace when the patient became combative, agitated, or even hateful
• I’ve mastered the art of patience from countless hours spent hugging her for up to four hours straight because she was sundowning and afraid to fall asleep. I deepened my practice of prayer and meditation during long stretches of hyperactivity—sometimes lasting twelve hours—when medications failed, and she talked non-stop while constantly moving her hands and feet. It was like a form of torture, but I made it through.

I share these things because this job has profoundly impacted me. As I transition back into civilian life, I do so as a changed person. I will be a better version of myself. I am no longer the pushy, fast-paced corporate person who always had to climb the next rung of the ladder.

I have become a more compassionate, patient, and intuitive human being - someone who can sit still, listen deeply, and recognize the needs of others.

This, Dear Boss, is my resignation letter. Not a resignation from working with you - no doubt, you’ll have more assignments for me in the future - but a resignation from a role as intense and detailed as the one I’ve just completed.

I’ve spent countless hours logging daily caloric intake, tracking fluid ounces consumed, and documenting bowel movements. I know I went above and beyond.

I’m now at a point in my life where I can no longer handle such a demanding assignment, physically or emotionally. For five years, I cried many tears while riding an emotional roller coaster. My body underwent a grueling daily workout, and even with occasional respite, I never truly rested. My back and spirit were pushed to their absolute limits.

I thank you for this life-changing experience. It opened my eyes to what really matters in life, in business, in relationships with others, and in love - and, most of all, in faith.

As I step away from this type of work, I look forward to whatever comes next - perhaps volunteering to prepare meals for the homeless, or working with immigrants, whether documented or undocumented, who are seeking asylum from danger and violence.

Before I close this letter, I want to say how deeply heartbroken I am that my patient has since passed. Writing this letter has been difficult because it brought back every moment I endured while caring for my sweetest little Isabel. She was my mother, and I will miss her dearly. But I take comfort in knowing she lived a full life and that I never left her side - especially during the hardest moments when she needed me most. I love Isabel. She was my mother.

Thank you, Boss.

(Note to those reading this letter: Everything written here is true. I lived through it all. The only fictional part is the ending—my mother, Isabel, is still alive. I wrote this as an emotional exercise to prepare myself for the day she departs from this earth. That day will be the hardest one I will ever face. I love that little lady more than anything else.)