The Miss Gloria Hour with Special Guest: Doctor Prismatone

Gloria’s Room

“Debbie! I can’t find my glasses. Come help me.”

Debbie runs into Gloria’s room. “What’s going on, Gloria? Where did you last see them?”

Gloria points at the dresser. “Right there, on top of my purse.”

“Sweetie, sweetie, just relax. It’s okay. Your glasses are in your hand.”

“Oh my goodness! I’m so stressed out about the big staff meeting this morning. Everybody’s going to be there. This could be the end of my podcast.”

“Now, now, Gloria. Worst case scenario, we go back to Yucaipa and you’ve got a few hundred thousand dollars in the bank. That’s not bad for two months of work.”

“Yes, when you put it that way it doesn’t sound so bad. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Let’s get ourselves together.”

“Let’s do this, Gloria. Paolo is here. Let’s hit the road.”

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The Board Meeting

This was one of Oliver Olivier Productions’ most important board meetings of the year. The fate of The Miss Gloria Hour would be forever cast. The entire staff and crew were in attendance.

Everybody sat quietly, awaiting the verdict. Gloria tried to hide her nervousness but wasn’t too successful when she developed a case of the hiccups. Trixie handed her a cup of water, but Gloria choked and spit it all over Jason Pooper’s face.

“Oh Poops, I am so sorry, Poopers — but it looks like my hiccups are cured now.”

Pooper started the meeting by holding up his blinking phone. “It just came through — the ratings for last week’s show.”

There was a hush in the room as Jason opened the email.

“Okay, let’s see.” Jason quickly read, then looked up directly at Gloria. “I think we have reason to celebrate.”

A collective gasp filled the room, followed by applause.

“The ratings for last week’s episode with Dharrsheena were through the roof. We had four million streams on Spotify, making it the number three podcast of the week behind Joe Rogan and Crime Junkie. It’s also the highest-rated podcast for Oliver Olivier Productions. I’m happy to announce that The Miss Gloria Hour is slated for another 22 episodes this season. Congratulations, Gloria, and to everyone involved.”

Miranda Spinwell, the communications director, responded: “I believe a good strategy would be to jump on this right away and let the public know The Miss Gloria Hour will be renewed for another 22 episodes. We can spin this into the biggest news of the moment and put Gloria’s smiling face everywhere.”

Jason replied, “Great strategy, Randi. You, Dimitri, and Karla can put together a promotional plan. I’ll expect you to present it in two days.”

Gloria straightens her notes, flashes a grin, and says, “Alright, if the board thinks I’m worth 22 more episodes, then I’d better tell the world myself. Let’s roll the cameras. Can somebody powder my nose, I’m about to make history.”

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The Opening Monologue

“I have some great news for everyone — and this time I can talk about it. This isn’t me giving Poopsie, my boss, the finger. This is me being real. Not that me throwing the F-bomb at Pooper isn’t real — because believe me, that’s the real me. But today I do have delightful news to share. Last week’s episode with Dharrsheena Raja Segarran was a huge hit. It was streamed four million times on Spotify. To celebrate, we have Dharrsheena with us tonight via Zoom.”

Gloria taps on her keyboard to join the zoom conference..

“Hello Dharrsheena, thank you for being with us today. How are you, sweetie?”

“I am doing great, Gloria. Just sharpening my daggers and machetes.”

“That’s nice, baby girl. It’s good to have a hobby.”

“I have many hobbies, Gloria. I just ordered some embalming fluid from Cryptomart.com today.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet. So, I have you here today to give you the news. Your episode of The Miss Gloria Hour was our most popular to date, and our contract has been renewed for another 22 episodes.”

“Oh, Gloria, that is so exciting. I’m honored to have a part in this success.”

“Dharrsheena, to show our gratitude, Oliver Olivier Productions is sending you a one-year supply of oh-uh-oatmeal.”

“Oh, wonderful, thank you, Gloria. That’s a lot of oatmeal. My zombies will enjoy bathing in it.”

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This Week’s Episode

“Tonight’s guest isn’t any ordinary hero. He doesn’t fight with fists or guns. Instead, he heals with harmony and the smooth vibrations of music. His mere presence redirects evil to truth and honor. Please welcome Doctor Prismatone.”

The audience stands to applaud Doctor Prismatone’s entrance.

“Thank you, thank you.” Prismatone bows, then takes a seat on the sofa next to Gloria.

“So, Prismatone, I’ll admit I’m skeptical. What kind of pansy superhero doesn’t throw punches? Batman socked The Joker, Ironman blew up terrorists. What’s wrong with you, are you a scaredy cat?”

“Quite the opposite, Gloria. I’m a scientist and I’ve found a way to stop villains without using my fists. Certain tones and colors, soft harmonies with blue, red or green lights, calm the mind and shut down evil.”

“Really? So you’re telling me Barry Manilow could’ve saved Gotham?”

“Close. Adult Contemporary from the 1970s works best. Warm analog sound, big melodies, it disarms faster than any right hook.”

“Any proof this isn’t just elevator music?”

“Eight months ago, terrorists overtook the Shwedagan Pagoda in Myanmar. Superhero Headquarters in Brussels summoned me to the scene. I blasted ‘Sing’ by the Carpenters with a somber green light. Within minutes, machine guns dropped, tears flowed, and sixteen men surrendered.”

With her face cringing Gloria says, “I hate that song. It’s the hokiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, it’s now Myanmar’s official anthem.”

“Okay, but how do you pull this off, karaoke machine and glow sticks?”

“My costume has AI lasers on the wrists. I say, ‘Lux stream somber green,’ and the light covers up to a quarter million square feet. Music streams through my cape via Spotify.”

“Alright, that’s wild. Doctor Prismatone, you deserve the Nobel Peace Prize, even if you do look fruity in that outfit.”

“That’s standard superhero attire, Gloria.”

“One thing is certain, you’re brilliant and a genius. You have discovered a way to combat evil without using force or violence. I can respect that and I hold you in high esteem.”

“Thank you, Gloria. My mission is simple: through harmony and light, I heal chaos and reveal truth.”

The audience gives Doctor Prismatone a commanding standing ovation.

“That’s a wrap, folks. As always, thank you for tuning in. We’ll be back in three weeks with another super great guest. Until then, hang easy, and just remember, I love you.”

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With Love, RHC ❤️