THE LONGEST 60-SECONDS IN HISTORY

THE LONGEST 60 SECONDS IN HISTORY

Ah! Sixty seconds left to wait! Good!

There are times I can be extremely patient, and there are times my patience has a very short fuse.

More often than not, I’m very patient regarding waiting for people. I understand completely how things can get out of hand and delay someone from being where they want to be and when. For example: my dance class. It isn’t just a dance class, it’s an exercise program set to music. Our dances include salsa, cha cha, tango, rock, country, and sometimes a mix of it all. Our programs begin twice a week at 8am. However, each of us tries to arrive at 7:45am for a few minutes to socialize before we start to sweat our butts off. There have been several times some of arrive at 7:50 or even 8:05. It just happens! We, after all is said and done, just human.

Not too long ago, my husband had an appointment to have bloodwork done. Our doctor had given him all the necessary paperwork and the appointment was set.

While my husband arrived at the lab on time, he’d forgotten all the paperwork. He apologized to the receptionist and had to drive back home to retrieve it. It’s a twenty-minute drive there and another twenty back. Now, he was late! Really late! The receptionist told him not to worry, “after all,” she said, “we’re only human and we all make mistakes.”

While I don’t like being late, there are times that a well needed bathroom break will delay me. Can’t be helped and you can’t rush Mother Nature.

My patience seems to draw the line when it comes to things mechanical. Maybe I should rephrase that and exchange the word mechanical to computerized, since just about everything today, no matter how “mechanical” is run by computers.

My first interaction with a computer was in the med 1970s when I returned to the workforce after having my children. Wow! I was so impressed. I could hardly wait to learn how to use them. The company where I worked used three different kinds of setups. We had about one-quarter of the first floor to house the “system” that ran two of them. The third was on the second floor.

Without going into the uses of each, I will tell you that the hype was, “Computers will revolutionize the world! No more filing papers. Everything will be done electronically.”

Oh, what bull! All these years later, I can say that truthfully.

Another thing I can say is that the computer is only as good as the person who made it. After all, computers don’t make themselves. People, HUMANS make computers. Computers are as fallible as we are.

Let’s jump from the office to the home and today’s fiascos. Appliances!

Today’s appliances have computer motherboards. Not sure what that is? A motherboard could be as tiny as your thumbnail or as large as your …, well, pretty big. I had the privilege of working on one unit (a radar unit) that needed two motherboards, each measuring approximately two-feet high and one-and-a-half-feet wide. These boards were connected by about 500 wires that were strategically soldered in various locations. Other components on the boards were resistors, capacitors, diodes, etc.

Your computers run on motherboards. So does your printer. If you have a sewing machine that has the capability of making fancy designs, those designs are stored in a motherboard’s memory.

Your refrigerator, washer, dryer, TV, and all your other appliances have motherboards. Yes, that’s right. How else would your refrigerator know how to make and dispense ice? Your electronic cooktop needs to know how to regulate its temperature for proper cooking, just as your oven does.

What gets me frustrated is when my washing machine indicates that the wash cycle has only 60-seconds left to go. That completes the washing, rinsing, and spin dry, right? My little LED window says :60. Yes! One minute. I get busy doing something else. Twenty minutes later, I remembered the wash. Hmm! The control light is still lit. That’s supposed to turn off when the cycles are done. I walk over the machines. What the H??? The stupid machine reset itself and now it says there are SEVEN minutes to go. WHY?

While we’re in the laundry room, let’s check out my dryer. So many cycles from which to choose. Perm-Press. Light. Towels. Heavy. Bulky. Bedding. Oh, and let’s forget the “extra drying” cycle.

I put a small load of towels in my dryer and pressed the “towels” button. The buzzer rang indicating the towels were dry. They were NOT!! They were still somewhat damp. While the dryer works well on clothes and the larger, fuller load of towels, for some reason, it doesn’t register will with a very small load.

My dishwasher says almost the same thing. I press, “wash”, and “heat dry.” Yet, when the LED window says, “Complete”, and I open the door, several of the dishes are still wet. Maybe not “dripping” wet, but not dry either. I end up with a full-on, face-blast of steamy air. Really??

My husband surprised me last year with a Roomba. It is supposed to pick up all the dirt and dust from the floor and yet, many large dust bunnies seem to escape this so-called modern marvel. My hand-held vacuum works much better.

Now, let’s just quickly jump back to my computer. Yes, it’s old. It’s more than ten years old. It still works. Well, most of the time, anyway. Here’s where my fuse gets almost blown to bits.

I have a photo editing program on the PC, which enables me to resize the photo, darken it if it’s overexposed, or lighten it if I didn’t set the shutter quite right. Works great, right? Here’s where it drives me batty! I will edit a few photos, then as soon as I try to bring another into “edit”, the computer freezes. No, not just the program. The entire computer. I can’t close the program, or any program I have open, for that matter. I have to shut the entire (expletive) computer down and restart it. What a time-wasting piece of machinery. If I could afford a newer and much better PC, I’d go running to the store. But the kind of computer I’d need cost way more than my budget will allow. So, I shut it down and allow it to reboot.

Now that I’ve written this, I’m going to try and post it. Who will lay odds that my computer freezes again?

This is where my patience has a very short fuse.

My 60-second fuse seems to be getting shorter and shorter with each “new modern marvel”.