Satirical
Quantum Quirks
Pilot for Quantum Quirks, a Sci-Fi Comedy In the realm of the absurdly hilarious, "Quantum Quirks" is a comedy series that blends the mind-bending concepts of quantum physics with the everyday banality of office life. Imagine "The Office" meets "Rick and Morty," with a dash of "The Big Bang Theory" for good measure.
By Daniel Llerena3 years ago in Humor
Belts With Holes Are Dead
In one possible dystopian future the fall of man was brought about not by a nuclear holocaust or alien invasion, nor by a biological agent unleashing a zombie plague or a global economic collapse, but rather by an event so mundane, so random, so seemingly inconsequential that not even the wisest of men could have predicted it. This is the world of belts with holes are dead. A world ended when the last belt with holes suddenly disappeared from our planet earth. A hellish nightmarescape where the ability to keep one’s pants up even if they are too large is no longer an option for most. The rich seclude themselves in future belt enclaves where they live in relative luxury and wear whatever size pants within +/- two sizes they desire while the poor live in squalor, suffering from constant pants droppage or doing anything they can to just get by. The lowest of these, the so called “below the knee cutters” are the worst off by far. Their misery was so great that they actually took scissors to every pair of pants they owned and cut them off below the knees. Sick I know, do not read on if you are faint of heart. The only hope left are the so called Pioneers of Future Belts. Will they arrive in time to save our once beautiful planet and usher in a utopian paradise where everyone, regardless of means, can choose to wear whatever pants they want, no matter the waist size or inseam length? These stories represent the collected works of just some of the people who lived through those dark times. Pray their future does not become our own.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humor
White Men Can’t Jump is a Cinematic Oracle
👁️🚨WAKE UP SHEEPLE🚨👁️: “White Men Can’t Jump” is actually a cinematic oracle 🔮 predicting the GREAT LIBERTARIAN TAKEOVER of the United States! 🦅💸Alright fellow Truth Seekers, sit down, grab your tinfoil hats, and listen up. 📡 This 1992 “basketball” movie starring Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes is, in fact, an intricate tapestry of hidden messages and symbols forecasting the imminent Libertarian Uprising. 🏀🔥
By Nick Stapay3 years ago in Humor
The vastness and comp
The vastness and complexity of the world are beyond anyone's imagination, in front of which the individual is but a small straw. In the face of the boundless magic mirror of the world, we see our own floating shadow, divided by the wind into a fragile individual, clearly living in the same world, but have been alone for no reason. Even if said to be independent, completely rely on their own strength to create a gorgeous sky, but until a thousand sails over the bustling disperse, but found themselves from the bottom of my heart or desire a pair of hands. Those hands came from the clouds, with the heat of the heart, it silently accepted you and silently carried you to the other side. How can we live alone, we meet so many people every day on the road of life, we form each other's lives. Some of them might stay, so we approach each other, become friends and walk the rest of the way together. They give you friendship, they give you laughter, they give you warmth, they give you support. But really such friends are not many after all, you don't know when you will meet them.The real basis on which people judge your ability is not how many things you have in your head, but your actions. People trust down-to-earth people, they think: this person dares to say and do, must know how to do the best. I have yet to hear anyone praised for not bothering others, not taking action, or waiting for orders to do something. Those leaders in business and government are very capable and hard-working people, people who are 100 percent motivated. Those who stand on the sidelines will never lead. Whether it's spontaneous or passive, it's habit. Habit is like a rope, we spin a rope every day, and finally it is too thick to break. The rope of habit will either lead us to the peak or the trough, depending on the habit or the bad habit. Bad habits can make or break us. They are easy to develop but hard to maintain. Good habits are hard to form, but easy to keep.Night, can grasp the night is less and less. But we never seem to think about what time means to us in this perspective, what it means to miss a night, and what it means to seize it. When reading this story, I almost shed tears, because in the days before I entered the repeat school, I also experienced such years. I am very glad that I have a chance to come again after missing, and it is this time to grasp the fate of my life. What changes will happen to you in one night? I was in a bad mood that year when I failed my college entrance exam. I want to go out to work to earn more money for my parents, maybe that can make up for my guilt towards them. Father said, when the field work is finished, we will make plans. At that time, the wheat had been harvested, but my mother fell ill, and there was still a field in my family that had not been planted with corn. There was a heavy rain during the night. It was a good time to plant corn. At noon the next day, my father and I set out. The seeds are in plastic buckets, and my father digs and pits me with seeds, two seeds in each pit. The hot sun of the fifth lunar month seems to recover all the rain last night, the ground is hot like a steamer, I sweat, my father is also breathing heavily. By the time the sun went down I was exhausted and my mouth was dry. We've run out of seeds with four rows to plant. Relieved, I said to my father that it was getting dark, let's call it a day and bring the seeds tomorrow. Dad said nothing, hid his hoe in a pile of straw in the field, and we went home. Back home, I drank water, comfortable on the kang to sleep, but saw my father in the corn seeds, I asked not tomorrow to plant? What's the use of preparing now? Dad smiled and said that the field must be planted tonight, otherwise the harvest will fail in the future. I can't believe it. Isn't it just one night away? Dad said that we took a nap and passed through the night, but the seeds planted do not sleep, and the corn on the same plot is planted overnight, the yield difference can be big. Seeing my disbelief, my father pointed to the corn hanging under the eaves and said, You see, these and the storage are the harvest of this land, before and after a day. I picked up the corn ear under the eaves and compared it with the store, about 3 cm short! I took a few more comparisons, without exception, the size of the corn under the eaves is generally small!
By Jacob Deitrick3 years ago in Humor
Satan, Sick of Summons . Top Story - June 2023. Content Warning.
Satan started off as a great warrior for anarchy and free will, a genuine rebel without a cause. He hadn’t intended to be evil, he just didn’t like living by the rules. After being banished to hell, god sends books to earth explaining how to summon Satan, just to annoy him. Every time someone uses one of these books and does a summoning spell, they always ask Satan to do a really monotonous and sometimes evil favor, and after thousands of years, Satan is annoyed. He actually earned his deal making reputation by trying to make deals to get out of doing favors.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Humor
