General
Harmony in Hearts
In the heart of New Orleans, where the sultry air was always thick with jazz and blues, lived two souls who had yet to discover the symphony of love that awaited them. Mia Gallagher, a talented young pianist, and Max Reynolds, a charismatic saxophonist, were both passionate about music but had no idea that their lives were destined to intertwine in a melodious love story.
By Joseph Bawaijen Godwin2 years ago in Humor
Mountain Dew Shortage Makes Strange Bedfellows
Extreme sports athletes and hard core methamphetamine addicts came together this week to issue a statement demanding an immediate increase in the nations Mountain Dew supply. The two groups, who rarely see eye to eye given their wildly disparate socioeconomic backgrounds, lifestyles, and overall health status, put aside their longstanding and very significant differences to deliver the plea in writing to Mountain Dew brand owner PepsiCo. Thirty year meth addict Ted Stephens said of the historic document “While I might think these extreme sports dicklicks are a bunch of a-holes and punk ass bitches, at least they have the right taste in soda. After a five day meth binge I need to come down some before I can even think of getting any shut-eye and there aint nothing to bring me down like an ice cold Mountain Dew. Something about that massive dose of caffeine and sugar all wrapped up in that sickly sweet green carbonated goodness just hits the right spot for me. I can’t get enough of the shit, hell, I’d brush my teeth with it, if I had any left. PepsiCo better get their asses in gear and start cranking out some fuckin Dew, sons a bitches.” Extreme skiing legend Tony Montigo made the following statement. “Dude, there is nothing more radical than dropping in on a 60 degree slope from a helicopter at 12000 feet, except for Mountain Dew. The shit is the bomb. And dope is wack dude, get off the shit fuckin meth, freaks.” As of last reports Mr. Stephens was still on the shit. PepsiCo spokesmen Hal Rivens responded to the two groups saying “We understand and have heard the concerns of our two most longstanding and loyal customer segments. While supplies are tight due to shipping delays associated with the recent Covid-19 pandemic, rest assured Mountain Dew is still on store shelves nationwide and will continue to be available. To prove we our serious, we have prioritized Dew shipments over Dasani water and other so called “pussy” drinks for the foreseeable future. At PepsiCo we view serving the meth addict and extreme sports athlete population as part of our core mission, and we will not falter in that mission.”
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
"The Perils of Procrastination: A Comedic Exploration of Delayed Responsibilities"
We've all been there. It's a bright, sunny day, and you've got a mountain of tasks to tackle. Your to-do list stares at you like a judgmental owl, silently accusing you of being the ultimate procrastinator. But fear not, fellow procrastinators, for in the world of delayed responsibilities, there is humor to be found!
By Ink Mystic2 years ago in Humor
Architecture Biggest Failures
You know architects, right? Those clever folks who create big, awesome buildings that last for ages. Well, guess what? Sometimes, they goof up big time! Imagine huge aquariums springing leaks with sharks swimming around or famous landmarks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which, by the way, was never meant to lean in the first place! It's like real-life comedy.
By Hugo Batel2 years ago in Humor
What The Hell
Driving through Nebraska we stopped at a gas station that had casino games. It was an alcohol distributor and deli and had other miscellaneous items. Very similar to most convenience stores/gas stations in Minnesota. We decided to have something to eat from the deli as they also had lunch seating. We needed a break from the truck by this time.
By Denise E Lindquist2 years ago in Humor
