Married for the Discount

Claire never thought she’d get married. Or, more accurately, she never thought she’d want to get married. Weddings were expensive, exhausting, and, honestly, kind of pointless. Plus, the idea of sharing a bathroom with someone else’s toothbrush? No, thank you.

But here she was, sitting across from Jenna in their favorite coffee shop, trying to convince her that marriage wasn’t some life goal she needed to chase.

“Jenna, I just want to live alone, watch true crime documentaries, and eat cereal for dinner. That’s it.” Claire stirred her latte with the kind of frustration usually reserved for failed relationships.

Jenna smirked, tapping away on her phone. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. Nobody really wants to get married. We just want the perks.”

Claire raised an eyebrow. “Perks?”

Jenna leaned in like she was about to reveal the meaning of life. “Discounts. Honeymoon deals, couple’s insurance, tax breaks—basically, the universe bribes you to make terrible decisions.”

Claire frowned. “You’re saying I should just fake it?”

“Exactly!” Jenna beamed. “Get married for the freebies. You don’t even have to like the person. Just sign on the dotted line and go on the two-for-one honeymoon in Bali. I’m serious.”

Claire laughed so hard she almost snorted. “You sound insane.”

“Come on, think about it. You marry a stranger, get a free trip, and then call it quits. Win-win.”

Fast forward two weeks, and Claire found herself sitting nervously in a government office next to Mark—another slightly confused person who also apparently thought marrying a stranger for perks was a good idea.

Mark nudged her with a grin. “So, how does it feel to be legally bound to a stranger?”

Claire smirked. “Like I just joined a really weird club.”

The clerk called their names. They signed the paperwork with all the enthusiasm of people agreeing to a gym membership they’d probably regret.

“Congrats,” the clerk said, handing them a flimsy certificate. “You’re officially married. Don’t lose this. Or do—up to you.”

Claire whispered to Mark, “I don’t think either of us knows what we just did.”

The “wedding” was about as exciting as watching paint dry. No vows. No flowers. No dramatic music. Just two people awkwardly smiling at each other while clutching paperwork like it was a winning lottery ticket.

Boarding the plane to Bali, Claire muttered, “Married for the discount. I sound like a late-night infomercial.”

Mark laughed. “At least we’re honest.”

Day one in Bali was everything the brochures promised. White sand, crystal-clear water, and a hotel upgraded them to a honeymoon suite because apparently, the front desk didn’t check marital authenticity.

Claire raised her cocktail. “To the best bad decision ever.”

Mark grinned. “And the only one with rose petals on the bed that didn’t end in tears.”

But reality has a way of sneaking in, like a hangover after too many umbrella drinks.

By day two, they learned sharing a bathroom is not as romantic as it sounds.

Claire groaned, eyeing the toothpaste cap left off. “Do you always leave it like that?”

Mark shrugged. “It’s a sign of trust.”

Claire snorted. “Or disrespect.”

Dinner was even worse.

“So… favorite movie?” Claire asked, stabbing her salad like it owed her money.

Mark blinked. “I’m a big fan of documentaries about serial killers. You?”

Claire grimaced. “Romantic comedies where no one has to share a bathroom.”

Back home, married life involved new challenges.

Insurance forms needed signatures, families demanded awkward updates, and Jenna never missed a chance to remind them they were “the discount couple.”

One night, they dragged themselves to the free couples’ counseling offered by their “package deal.” The therapist’s first question was obvious.

“Why did you get married?”

Claire and Mark exchanged looks.

Claire shrugged. “For the honeymoon.”

Mark nodded. “And the health insurance.”

The therapist blinked. “I’m… not sure how to respond.”

But something unexpected happened.

Between sarcastic banter and Netflix marathons, Claire and Mark started enjoying each other’s company.

Late-night talks replaced awkward silences. Shared jokes took the place of small talk. The fake marriage suddenly didn’t feel so fake.

One evening, Claire sipped coffee, smiling at Mark. “So, what do we do now?”

Mark shrugged. “Maybe keep the perks… and actually try not to ruin it.”

Claire laughed. “Deal.”

A month later, Jenna showed up, shaking her head.

“You two actually make it look normal.”

Mark smirked. “Careful, or we’ll start charging for marriage advice.”

Claire smiled. “Married for the discount? More like married for the laughs.”

Sometimes, the best mistakes turn out to be the best stories.