Cotton Candy

After getting off work, I headed to the nearest bus stop. I had worked the rare overnight shift, so I was ready to head home and crawl into bed. Unfortunately, that wasn’t in the cards today. As I came to the bus stop, my bus was going through the red light on the corner of the block. I had missed the bus to my side of town, and it would be another hour before another one would come by heading that way.

So I did what any sane American woman who cleans offices for a living would do: I pulled my skirt up, clasped my purse tighter, and walked the ten blocks to my apartment building. It was a beautiful day, and I would have enjoyed it so much better if I’d brought a pair of walking shoes to work with me. So, being a country girl, I took my shoes off and walked barefoot; that way, I wouldn’t ruin my flats. The concrete sidewalk tore my pantyhose to shreds, but I continued walking.

When I went by, Polly had her produce out at her stand down the block from the office building. I stopped to buy some apples and bananas. As I was leaving, some schmuck pulled an orange from the bottom of the pyramid display that the grocer had displayed them in, and the orange fruit went everywhere. Of course, the rounded citrus went under my feet, and I tried to keep my balance by windmilling my arms. I kept my footing momentarily but ended up clumsily on my hind end. Knowing I had busted my tailbone, I gingerly got back on my feet.

I assured Polly that I was okay and that it was not her fault. (I wasn’t, but she wasn't at fault.) I kept going along my way, rubbing my injured tailbone in place of my pride.

I plodded two more blocks without incident before I had to stop at a crosswalk. Several other people were standing nearby, waiting for the walk light to change, when suddenly, I was jostled hard from behind. Knocking me off balance, I slipped off the curb, into turning traffic, and twisted my ankle. A horn was blaring, and I turned just in time to see a flying carpet bear down on me, running me over.

Getting up, I hopped back on the curb and looked back at the flying carpet in time to see the rider shaking his wing at me. Rubbing my eyes, I looked again, and yes, it was an angry macaw riding on the carpet. At that moment, the light changed, allowing the pedestrians to walk, and I was pushed along with the crowd.

As the foot traffic went their separate ways on the next block, I wondered if I was coming down with a fever or becoming delusional. Feeling my forehead, I was disappointed at its coolness. Then the worries set in: was I having a nervous breakdown, had I hit my head, or did I have a tumor? Maybe I should call my doctor and schedule an appointment for a complete medical workup.

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t pay attention to the following three blocks and what was happening around me until I walked right into the flank of a pink unicorn with a sparkly mane. Frozen in place, I turned around and looked. Where the buildings used to be along the street were now fairy turrets covered in morning glories, and little fairies fluttered around in the air all around me. A gigantic beanstalk extended from a manhole up through the cotton candy clouds in the sky. Birds flew upside down all around.

I rubbed my eyes. There was no way I could be seeing what I was seeing. A pink, glowing fairy flew to my face and kissed my nose! Freaking out, I ran off in the direction my apartment was supposed to be in, nursing my ankle as I ran.

I ran and I ran, and I ran and ran, before I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was running in place. Only the scenery was moving to the side of me, due to a troop of white-faced Capuchin turning two huge handles. One of the monkeys saw me looking at them and screeched so loud. They immediately chased me back the way I had come, all the while throwing their poop at me.

When I saw the beanstalk, I decided to climb it to escape from the group of monkeys. I ascended as quickly as possible, without looking back to see how close they were, hoping to reach the clouds. When I reached the clouds, I was surprised by the taste of sugar.

The monkeys' sounds had grown fainter but were still behind me, so I kept moving. I continued upwards by touch, unable to see anything above me. Suddenly, the clouds before me were unyielding. Worried because I dared not go backwards, I inched forward until I had my shoulder drawn up under it and pushed with all the leverage I could muster. I could feel the clouds give, so I shoved upwards with all my might. Finally, with one last thrust, I rammed my whole body into breaking through the membrane. Suddenly, it gave way, opening up.

The front doors of the office building I had cleaned that night opened up and spilled me out on the sidewalk. Confused, I looked around, glanced at my watch, and saw the time was ten til five in the morning. Wondering what in the world I had just dreamed, I began to limp over to the bus stop and waited for my commute.

Smelling something sweet, I reach up and touch a sticky substance. Removing it from my hair, I look at it. Flabbergasted, I taste the pink stuff. It was cotton candy.