"You Did Embarrassed Me Motherfucker..." (friend version)

It is the fact that all this happened and we weren't even friends to begin with.

It is the fact that this was the first time I even met you and it was just a normal friend dinner before a night out.

It is understanding that you just went through a breakup but like wtf.

It was that somehow I am still trying to process what all transpired in only a few hours of meeting you and hoping to never have to be in the same room as you again.

It was the audacity that you had to do the things that you somehow thought were okay that you did.

It was that I trusted my friends to never put me in a situation with someone who would make me so incredibly uncomfortable and blatantly be seen with someone who was so deeply embarrassing.

It was the lack of inherent respect that you showed for women in how you treated the server.

It was how you never talked to her nicely but pushed all respectable and comfort boundaries in every single interaction you had with her.

It was how you thought it was okay to essentially cat call her and publicly demeaned her in the way of screaming "waiter" at her from our table.

It was how somehow you didn't had the consideration to think maybe how you would have felt if roles were reversed and you were being "flirted" but more so harassed by a customer that you still had to be respectful towards and work for a tip from.

It was how you went up to her and asked her to smell you but in a way that you forced her to by blocking her way of exiting.

It was how you addressed her in ways that gave her no other option but to agree to things or make it extremely uncomfortable for everyone involved.

It was how you forced physical affection without her consent.

It was you thinking it is okay to just start playing loud music from your phone in a quiet restaurant.

It was the assumption that came with you triple dipping without even asking if you could have some of a sauce that came with an appetizer that you didn't even order...

...And then presumably dumping the rest on your plate without any regard for if that was even okay with the person who ordered or if anyone else even wanted any.

It was how you ate with no etiquette for being in a restaurant, not just grubbing at home. It was the lack of manners.

It was how you tried to forced your already half drank water cup onto my girlfriend by slamming it in front of her instead of just waiting until the waiter to come back for a glass for her...

It was how you just started offering other people's water to her when she didn't want yours.

It was how you immediately thought it was okay to make an off handed sexualized comment about the way I was dressed to me in front of my girlfriend.

It was how you instantly made me feel unsafe to have to sit around you, across from you...

It was how you felt it necessary to make unsolicited comments that any normal person would have thought not socially acceptable, comments that left me thinking did she actually just say that.

It was how you thought it was automatically okay to take food off my plate as soon as you realized that I had something that you liked without even stopping to ask if that was okay...to take food off a strangers plate that you don't know and your friend's friend, not yours.

It was how somehow you didn't pick up on a single cue as to the fact that you were barking up the wrong tree because you kept trying to provoke and poke me.

It was how you continued to make borderline cringey comments throughout dinner with no tact for others feelings or comfort level except your own.

It was how you behaved in a way that you had no regard for the embarrassment, or consideration for everyone else at the table the entire dining experience but more so for the amusement of your own wants and entertainment.

It was how somehow all of dinner you were blind to the fact that you couldn't regulated yourself to show some awareness in the fact that you clearly made the people sitting across from you so uncomfortable.

It was how you kept trying to adamantly argue with my girlfriend and my other friend that "oriental" was a socially acceptable term to call someone who is Asian.

It was how you acted like a child in a nice restaurant.

It was how you thought it was appropriate to give not one, but two "dry willies" aggressively to your friend who was sitting next to you when we were eating.

It was how you demanded things during dinner from the waitress instead of asking politely.

It was how I had barely any words all dinner because I was absolutely horrified actually more astonished by your behavior and lack of self respect for yourself and others.

It was how I felt the need to go out of my way to apologize and address things on your behalf for your behavior once you left the restaurant.

It was how I have never felt so embarrassed by someone in a restaurant and that no matter how much I love my friends, I would have passed if I knew that was going to transpire.

It was me trying to be mindful of my reactions and biting my tongue the whole time because of how cringe it all was.

It was me wanting to crawl into a hole or jump off a cliff the whole time but not knowing what would be better.

It was how you asked her on the spot if she was uncomfortable or okay with you shoving your phone in her face and telling her how she "should" put her name in your phone.

Because no one should ever have to experience what you put that waitress through. No matter if she was "okay" with it or not.

It was you expecting her to actually be honest with you and tell you anything but "no, it's fine."

It was how utterly unbelievable I was that an adult could have literally so little care...if not about themselves at least about those who are being seen with them.

It was how when you still weren't getting your box for your two slices of pizza left that you thought it was okay to steal the restaurant's napkin and wrap them in that and shove them in your crossbody bag...later to be pulled out and eaten at the club...

It was how you thought that none of it was wrong that was absolutely mind fucking to me.

It was the clear lack of reading the room and the group at every single moment that happened that is beyond me.

It was the fact that all of this happen in the span of only a few hours.

It was you thinking it is okay to ruin a cute picture that people who are actually friends are trying to take by flashing your boobs.

It was the fact that this is how you wanted your first impression, your most authentic representation of yourself to be to people that didn't even know you, people who had never met you before...people that weren't your friends already...and even still.

It was a what the fuck just happened moment...for days.

It was the fact that after I left I heard when you said goodbye to one of my friends that instead of just hugging him you unprovokingly bit his neck leaving a bruise...who does that...to someone they don't even know.

It was like watching a train crash over and over again not somehow knowing that there is a wall...that is has passengers on board that it was supposed to be aware of.

It was that you cared about your good time more than having a good time with the people you came with...at the expense of theirs...at the minimum of their discomfort with hopes of them just accepting "how you are." As if that was an excuse for the chaos, childishness that ensued.

It was that fact that is insanely baffling as to how someone could even.

It was how you so quickly and easily went home with sisters to have a threesome.

It was that you thought it was okay to act as if you had utterly no standards, no self respect, no boundaries, and no self consciousness.

It was almost as if you thought the way you carried yourself was somehow endearing to others.

It was as if by the way you behaved that someone has lied to you terribly. It is as if someone needs to be real with you...

It was the clear disregard for the feelings and comfort of others that was beyond me.

It was the true questioning of like if you think that going through a breakup is justification for how you acted, it that somehow was the rationale behind excusing the erratic and immature ways you acted in every way.

It was a what even was that...It was trying to begin to comprehend how you thought any of it was okay.

It was that fact that you so uninhibitedly behaved in a way that is barely excusable for adult friends but inexcusable to anyone with a shred of common sense let alone you'd think with a group of people you never met before.

It is recklessness and inconsideration in its finest and fullest that I have never known.

It is you belligerently blowing past what I ever could have expected from a friend of a friend...a stranger who we had all tried to welcome with open arms and acceptance.

It is you redefining what embarrassing me mother fucker feels like beyond all disbelief of what I thought anyone could ever have...

Please. Please. Please. Never Again.