Why We Don’t Understand How to Be Comfortable with Spending Money

One of the things I don’t understand is K-pop. Another is comfortably spending money. I believe many people could relate to the latter more than the former, and today of all things to spend money on, I used it to buy concert tickets to a K-pop group’s fan concert tour. (tickets with an “s” because my Dad sponsored half the price which I’ll get into a short while.)

It’s been a struggle to look for a job. I haven’t graduated yet but in less than a month, I’ll be marching on the stage with a bachelor’s degree diploma in my hand. I was never given allowance to school because I always brought my lunch and commute via jeepney using my 11 Philippine pesos. To risk my hard-earned money on paper tickets in just a dash is something I know I should be used to doing. Many things in life happen the same way. For instance, you’re working a salary per hour but when the month ends, you pay more than what you earned in each hour — for bills and Wi-Fi. The price gets big rapidly and you have no choice but to be used to paying sums in one crash.

For me, at least it was internalized and processed gradually. From a young age, I was told to regularly deposit cash into a savings bank. They had me open the account when I was only 7 years of age. But, I was never totally involved with expenses until college. It was just recently that I kept track of all the necessary maintenance budgets I had to have to live independently. I was aware of the amount it took yearly to sustain just my needs alone. In awareness, I found that the money I needed on average is rarely obtained in over a month by most people in the country where I live — in short it wasn’t a walk in the park.

When spending money, we always like to be rational about it. In exchange for Y, we should be willing to give X. We look at price tags and judge if they make sense. Handling our purchases, we sift through the item, its brand, the material used, and other indicators for it to win a spot. This mentality just shows how careful we are at spending money. I get that and it’s natural to think about. It often happens here in my country but, I’m sure we aren’t alone.

However, being careful with expenses isn’t the same as being comfortable with spending. Among the two expressions, the latter carries more power. I like to expound that we are influenced by the thought of being unsure how our actions with spending would affect us in the coming days, which opens up the topic where people experience uncomfortable money spending. Making sure finances work for you instead of the other way around makes things less stressful in life. Sure enough, it’s a journey that even people in their golden years struggle to achieve.

Personally, I haven’t been to a place where I feel like I could be comfortable with managing my money, given that I have no stable income yet. But, to work my way over there, I plan on managing my relationship with money first. Analyzing what I think about money and how it should be used purposefully, allows me to customize how I utilize finances and for it to work to the best of my endeavors.

As we all differ in our relationships with money, I believe that we align them with some values along the way. Those we find that resonate with us more. For example, my Dad just upgraded my concert ticket to a VIP seat, but then he wanted to come along (amazing, huh?), so we could rationalize that his values have something to do with his family. In the same way, this applies to the rather “reasonable” side as opposed to the being “rational” one from The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. The idea that we make money decisions based on being more reasonable makes the decision even more satisfying to us than if it were processed rationally.

Here, I will formulate an elaborate description of what constituted, a rather “reasonable” decision on money. Let’s use my concert ticket-selling experience which had absurdly high prices on each tiered seating. Lately, my country has been oversaturated by fan meets and concerts for the past year after authorities found out the COVID-19 virus is no longer as prevalent as it was during 2020, and the lessened limitations for quarantine and such. Being neighbors with the wide Pacific Ocean, and the constant shifting of the wet and dry seasons, along with our nonstop battle with climate change, it was not surprising to find videos online of establishments submerged in water. Given this background, there were various campaigns to help our countrymen in rebuilding what the typhoons broke. This means more expenses were being shed by plenty of people here as of the past weeks. Not to mention the inflation that I believe impacted people on a global scale. There were just too many variables to discuss and yet, here we are with skyrocketing ticket prices.

On the other hand, this fan concert that I will be attending in September is quite special. It’s a 10th Anniversary concert for the fans. (As a total fan, I will do anything in my power to watch them perform when they visit here in my home country.) My Dad possibly saw through my dedication and perseverance to secure a concert ticket, which prompted him to impulsively upgrade my seat.

With the help of being reasonable, we were able to mask the inflated price of the ticket instead. This decision might not be rational for most people, but it was indeed satisfying to someone like me who has this on their bucket list.

To briefly give context on the former that I left out, K-pop to me before becoming a fan felt… vile. I didn’t appreciate and couldn’t understand the system plenty of idols underwent before debuting. I’ve been exposed to many K-pop groups during 2014 and 2015, even before it became mainstream. In the crisp year of 2020, I started liking this K-pop group. Having all the time in my hands during the pandemic, I was able to catch up with all the content they released. I learned plenty of things and felt educated. I feel embarrassed that I wasn’t appreciative years ago, but my relationship now with K-pop has been solidified nonetheless. I find this hobby helpful in making me happier in ways I never expected to receive. It’s clear to say I’ve established a deep connection with my choice of K-pop group and they have been part of my life as well.

Perhaps at the end of the day, both concepts are an entity that doesn’t need much understanding. Most of the time, the things that make life even worth living are those decisions that make someone overjoyed, elated, satisfied, proud, loving, thankful, inspired, or hopeful — decisions in life that are only felt and celebrated.