The Infinite Power of Empathy on Placing Meaning in the Life We Live

Don’t you ever find it interesting to think about the lives of other people besides yourself?

For years, I thought about how easy it was to put someone else’s pain in my shoes. Or at least in the sense that I would understand them.

In my family, I ask myself how they always initiate conversations with strangers. It’s not uncommon to gossip about someone else and find faults. At least not in the place I grew up in. I didn’t like this attitude and as the curious kid, my mind found reasons why it was difficult to enter into a different perspective than what they’re used to.

Unfortunately, not all adults grow up fully mature in mind. A big part of their openness to experience protests under their lack of exposure towards the “unusual.” Therefore, when they hear of something outside the standards they have lived out all their life, they get challenged by it. There are difficulties in internalizing something that the brain has grown conditioned to. Although, it isn’t outright impossible to change our neural circuitry, and never too late to adapt to change, embarking on such a process will have to require time and patience alike.

Most of my older relatives are located in the barrios and fields surrounded by forests and farms. It is not a shock to witness them having a narrow view of the world. The signals there are bad and they pass the time watching TV and decorating their surroundings with gardens.

There were times I confronted them about it and some of the times they were apologetic. Of course, they would always do it again. The community in the Philippines is something like a solitary rock. People move together rather than away from each other. It doesn’t mean that everyone from the Philippines moves this way — there will always be exceptions. However, in this context, it is more important for them to have lasting relationships as they find it equally sustainable in times of hardship.

Less are the times that the reason for lacking empathy would be due to personality disorders or potential mental and emotional disturbance.

Essentially, something of a benefit they have is having a simple life. This is encapsulated in the small community they wander around in. But this circle has its disadvantages. The world doesn’t only revolve around farmlands and crops or fields and forests. Nor is it a sufficient depth to understand the world and what it means to live our lives the way we intend them to. You could even say that they were “missing out” on life. This also isn’t a shame for farmers or anyone living in rural areas. It just happens that most people in these places have limited opportunities of seeing a wider horizon and thus, have lesser openness to new experiences.

Have you ever seen a lookalike of someone’s mom who passed away several months ago and thought quietly, “What would this person think about if he was in my position and he could see what I’m seeing — someone who looks like his late mom?”

I felt more aware of my existence having thought of that. My heart suddenly ached and yearned knowing I found someone who had similar features as this person’s mom. It made me think, “Does this person not think how affectionate his son would be thinking this way about his mom? Because she left suddenly, does she worry about him?” I just imagined how his day would be like moving forward, after being reminded of his mom who passed away in not more than a year.

Putting myself in others’ shoes has never been a struggle. Unintentionally, I enter the different points of view more freely than others do. It became second nature to me, landing on a different person’s way of thinking and judging how their next behaviors would look when presented with different human trials and tribulations. It just became more pronounced when my Mom passed away, I had to connect with myself deeply and find a sense of appreciation for what life offered to me despite my trials — I had to look meaningfully at myself and my life journey.

So, as a collective, what can we do to improve on getting empathic? To be more attuned with ourselves and our existence interconnected with biodiversity?

A simple exercise I recommend is watching short clips or reels on YouTube or Instagram. Often, the algorithm would put you in several interesting videos with the content of empathy. There are plenty of videos where you could sympathize with parents seeing their sons or daughters for the first time in a while. Or even a random girl picking up a confused cat and bringing this cat home in her flat or house because she somehow wished for a cat to love. Bring yourself into their reasons for feeling the way they do — it makes things a little more human inside, I promise. It allowed me to feel euphoric about feeling like a human being because I felt capable of expressing love even for random people that I may have never seen before on the internet. Imagine why a girl bringing a stray cat to her house became a blessing for her. She might have wanted a cat so bad or she has so much love with her that she cannot tolerate leaving the stray cat alone. You could even say that she felt a spiritual connection with this cat and she felt obliged to keep it in a way like they were destined to meet. Contents like those I listed above are some of the reasons why I brought myself to write stories about the human side of things, powered by my perspective. I believe many people can learn so many things to be grateful for and what to realize or reflect on through the things I share here.