Why I Am Secretly Glad When He Ignores Me

Sometimes the two people in a relationship are so incredibly different that friends and family often wonder how they got together in the first place. Opposites do attract, but it only works when the other individual knows about the opposites. It happens so often that you meet someone, you really like that person so much you will pretend to like anything just to get your foot in the relationship door. Once in, however, it is hard to keep up the pretense, and the entire relationship can blow up in your face.

When Janie Met Zack

Janie met Zack through some mutual friends at their annual Super Bowl party. Janie was there for the social aspects of the party, but really had no interest in the game what-so-ever. In fact, she had no idea of who was playing until she arrived at the part and had to pick a jersey. The team most her friends were rooting for was the New England Patriots, their jersey was white with blue accents, Janie did not want to look washed out, so she chose the one she felt would best match her eyes and skin tone, which are both dark. It just happened to be red, and the team was the Atlanta Falcons.

According to tradition everyone had to sit on opposite sides of the living room to cheer for their respective teams. Because Janie chose a Falcon’s jersey she was on the other side of the room with several people she did not know. One was cute guy named Zack. Janie threw her all into her cheering of the team, parroting much of what she heard from the others as she knew nothing about football. Zack was from Atlanta and was very impressed that he had met a girl who was a fan in this new place he had moved, Boston.

Janie and Zack began seeing one another and after the first week or two talk off football died down, as it was now basketball season, and luckily Zack did not follow that sport. They became very close and by July decided to move in together. Janie could not believe her good fortune. They seemed like two peas in a pod. Until the NFL season began and Zack wanted to be in front of the television every Sunday and Monday night. Most of their entertaining centered on football days and nights, after a while Janie was tired of the charade, but embarrassed and afraid to tell Zack that not only was she not a football fan, but did not know the difference between the Atlanta Falcons or the Atlanta Hawks until the night they met.

She just wanted a Sunday to herself, and Monday nights was a work night and she was tired of going to work on Tuesday with dark circles and a hangover. Everything about their relationship was perfect – but it was a relationship that had begun based upon a common interest. Now Janie was left to wonder if Zack would have even noticed her in that skin-tone- washing-out white and blue jersey.

When they had people over and the other women talked about how their boyfriends ignored them on game days and nights, she was jealous. She felt silly for feeling this way, but she really wished Zack would become so absorbed in the games he forgot she existed for four quarters and she could go out, read a book, watch a movie, or take a nap. The only way to get that to happen is to tell the truth, but she is afraid of the effect it will have on their relationship.

Tangled Up With No Time Out

Even though the “lie” that was the impetus for the start of Janie and Zack’s relationship is not the most significant of lies in the grand scheme of things, it is still a lie and there are some who will take the leap to suggest that if someone lied to them about something so simple, that they may have been lying about the big things as well. Trust is sometimes built upon a very precarious foundation . When the confession finally comes, it is often to alleviate a level of discomfort from within; especially when the other party is clueless. Even though Janie at least from Zack’s perspective involved in watching football with him every Sunday and Monday, she is really not, and she does feel ignored. She would just rather be ignored somewhere else.

Janie needs her free time, and the mature healthy side of her recognizes that it is okay for her and Zack to have different interests . That was in fact how it had been all the way up until football season. When couples are able to have their shared as well as outside the relationship interests, it is essential to the continued development of themselves as individuals. This way they are each able to bring something interesting back to the relationship table when they spend time together.

However, all too often one or both in a relationship find themselves in a situation where they have to come clean about something and whether serious in the eyes of others or not, it is important. If while reading the above scenario you could identify with either Janie or Zack, you might benefit from some professional advice on how to untangle the relationship web without undoing it altogether.