Why Doesn’t My Husband Accept Fatherly Responsibility and Get Involved in Caring for the Baby?

Sometimes a new mother may feel almost like a single mother, the father being rather absent with the birth of the baby; In this case, the question is "why does my husband not accept the responsibility of father and not get involved in the care of the baby"? Why, with the birth of the baby, does he seem to run away from responsibilities and is rather absent when it comes to interacting with babies?

Unfortunately, it is a scenario known to many mothers: she gets pregnant, he is somewhat pleased with the idea of ​​being a father. However, once the baby is born, he becomes absent, does not get involved in the care of the baby, and does not seem to have an emotional connection with the little one. He seems to prefer to spend as much time as possible avoiding interaction with the baby and his new duties as a father.

She doesn't seem to accept the reality that with your baby, your lives need to change, as do your priorities. He seems to want to continue his old life without any problems, leaving in his mother's care what he had as a child…

And the biggest problem is that some people think that this situation is normal: the father takes care of responsibilities outside the household - providing income, while the mother takes care of the responsibilities in the household, including raising and caring for children. The father should not be actively involved in the care of the baby - it is the mother's duty; he can help her, but the mother must remain the one actively involved.

But a baby is not a "domestic responsibility", it is not a task to be fulfilled: it must be fed, asleep, changed, bathed, and wrapped and that's it! The baby is a being who needs his parents to grow harmoniously, who needs first of all the affection and protection of BOTH PARENTS.

Why doesn't my husband accept the responsibility of a father and not get involved in caring for the baby?

Pregnancy appeared too early in the relationship. If you do not have a stable, close, long-term relationship, then the sudden and unscheduled appearance of pregnancy will affect this relationship and as a result, will affect how the woman's partner will perceive and accept the pregnancy and the birth of the baby.

For a task to be a positive change, partners must have a relationship with a solid, stable, and harmonious foundation - otherwise, the task is the last thing the partner wants.

Sometimes the man feels overwhelmed by the news of a pregnancy, completely unprepared and as if "tied to his hands and feet". It is only natural that it would be very difficult for him to accept his responsibility as a father since you did not even have a solid and long-term relationship and you did not have concrete plans for the future.

Although she accepts the pregnancy, with the birth of the baby, everything becomes confusing and difficult, and the new father will be tempted to withdraw, to run away from this new world.

The partner did not want another baby. But, with the news of the pregnancy, he agreed to carry it out (out of moral, religious principles, for fear of asking his partner to terminate the pregnancy). Even when a man is delighted with the idea of ​​being a dad, once he sees himself practically in this role, everything changes and he finds it scary.

If the man was not at all ready to see himself as the father of a baby, then he will avoid being actively involved in caring for the baby and will choose to spend more time outside the family.

Aversion to major change. Many people feel a certain aversion, a fear of major changes in their lives - and what change is more important than becoming a father? The new father can run away from his responsibility and can choose not to get involved in the interaction with the baby, being too overwhelmed by the change. The simple idea that his life will not be the same makes him long for his previous life and try to maintain it.

Thus, the mother may notice that her partner does not accept the responsibility of the father and that she does not accept to change her priorities, continuing her life as before, spending most of the time outside the family.

A fairly common problem of mothers - the partner does not seem to want to make changes in his life, considering that he has no duty to give up his lifestyle with the birth of a baby.

A misconception about the roles of mother and father. There are still partners who live with the idea of ​​"father with work, a mother with children"; Thus, a new father may think that it is not his duty at all to get involved in the care of the baby - anyway, the mother knows better, right? So, in his view, his "duty" is to take care of the family's income and eventually play with the little one, entertaining him; the rest, my mother knows…

The new father may feel useless. With the birth of the baby, some mothers tend to take control and do everything related to the care of the baby - possibly asking for the father's help, but not allowing him to make decisions.

The mother feels that it is her right to decide what to do with the baby and she feels that she knows what needs to be done. But in this way, the father may feel somewhat useless in caring for the baby, even excluded.

Especially because the father is intimidated by the little one and feels helpless, not knowing exactly what to do and how to take care of him, he may come to believe that he doesn't have much to do - and therefore not to get involved in the baby's life at all.

Moreover, if the father feels that he is not useful and is not appreciated, he will prefer to spend time with activities outside the home, in places where he knows what to do and is appreciated.

The new mother's partner feels distant. And even a little jealous of the baby, who "stole" his girlfriend, who suddenly became a different person, who cares only as a child. Most mothers make their baby's priority and give them all their love and attention; which is good - the problem arises when mothers forget about their partner, neglecting him when the relationship with the little one makes them forget about everything else.

Moreover, a new mother forgets that she is both his girlfriend and his wife - and his partner only sees her as a mother. The relationship between them cools or distances itself in this way, and this separates the father from the baby and the family. The relationship between the partners is a priority - both for their happiness and for the child's happiness…