Why Are People Becoming Less Choosy than They Think?

Who is your ideal partner?

For most people, they have a predetermined set of unrealistic expectations. They would say that they want a partner who can take care of herself/ himself, has tall goals and ambitions and is intelligent and good looking. Others would say that they prefer a partner who shares similar interests and is easy to be with. These are the qualities of the picture perfect partner they desire.

Every person has a unique idea of what they want in a life partner. This might be influenced by their peers, previous relationships, or the ideas portrayed in movies and popular media. Imagining our soulmate or their ideal partner finally becoming real is the stuff we often daydream about.

But almost always, the kind of partner we daydream about is very different from who we actually end up with. In fact, a study in July 2020 by Joel and MacDonald of APA PsycNet found that people have become less selective in picking people to date than they think. And they are happy about it even if reality is far from their fantasy.

You don’t choose when you fall in love. You just do - since love works in mysterious ways. It will knock on your door when you least expect it. And it’s when we let our guard down that we allow our love to flourish.

Becoming less choosy about who you date does not happen in an instant, but rather gradually. Here are some of the reasons why that happens:

Potential partners are everywhere

Thanks to the internet and online dating, people have become more open to the world. Aside from that, societies are becoming less and less homogenous than they once were.

Because of this, our views on who our ideal partner should be may not be as rigid as we think.

Instead of sticking solely to our idea of a perfect partner, we become more open-minded about who we can date.

All we have to do is broaden our horizons, detach from our preferences and prejudices, and we become closer to finding the person we were meant to be with.

Changes in standards

People nowadays are very willing to compromise on their standards, but only if they feel that there is a future with that person.

Meeting that person, whether online or face to face, makes us feel that the possibility of ending up with that person is very real.

Even if the person we date isn’t really our type, it’s still intriguing to see how far we can go with that person.

Flaws are overlooked

The picture-perfect traits of your ideal woman usually fade when you are with the right person. When you love someone, their imperfections seem to become perfect in your eyes.

You may not be into women who have curly hair. But you don’t choose who to fall in love with, you just do. And if you happen to fall in love with a woman with curls, you’ll think she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen in your life, regardless.

Falling too fast and attached too soon

Some people don’t mind if the person they are with is not their ideal partner. If that person makes them feel like they are important and they matter, they fall for that person and become attached to them instantly.

Ultimately, what matters is chemistry. If you are comfortable, happy, and can be yourself, then the fact that that person isn’t your “type” becomes irrelevant.

Looking for your soulmate is never a bad idea. Becoming less picky is also not a bad decision.

Do not settle for just anyone, but also don’t waste time waiting for that perfect match who fits all of your expectations. Maybe she doesn’t exist at all.