What Would You Do?

I am writing this in hopes it helps anyone who is in a long-term relationship and hopefully get some insight!

5 months ago, my boyfriend of then 5 years, complained of chest pain while shopping at Menards for piping to fix our garbage disposal that I plugged up with potato skins as I was making him homemade potato salad. He came home, described his symptoms which all sounded like a panic attack. He is so neurotic about things and does suffer from anxiety and depression although he takes no meds for either. So, I gave him 2 of my anxiety meds (1 in the afternoon and 1 before bed) and he instantly started to feel better. We both carried on with the rest of our day cooking and fixing the garbage disposal. As we were getting ready for bed, he was complaining of chest pain again so that is when I gave him the 2nd one. He again started feeling better shortly after. He fell asleep and literally slept like a baby. I stayed up until 2:30am to watch over him and make sure he was good. I finally fell asleep and he was up before me. I felt him get out of bed and at 5:30Am I was wide awake. I rushed into the kitchen to check on him and he said he felt great. We then went back to bed to watch TV and cuddle before the kids woke up. We must have fell back asleep because the kids came in and woke us both up. He was still feeling fine. The hours went by and by 10:30am everything went downhill. He spiked a fever, had chest pain, could not walk, had a hard time breathing, could not get himself dressed or even take a shower on his own. I had to shower him and get him dressed as he did not want to go to the hospital dirty. He decided he was just going to call 911 because of Covid and he did not want me and the kids at the hospital if we did not need to be. He came into the bathroom to brush his teeth and stated he felt like he was going to pass out. Being that he is so neurotic, I kind of blew it off. 2 seconds later he dropped. As soon as he dropped, he started having a grand mal seizure which lasted 5-7 minutes and then he died. Took his last breath right in front of me. I was on the phone with EMS from the moment he dropped. EMS arrived about 5 minutes after he died, which felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life and started CPR on him immediately. They worked on him for an hour at our house, so he was without oxygen to his brain for over an hour. At some point during the transport, he was revived. Because he had no oxygen to his brain for over an hour, he suffered a traumatic brain injury. His frontal and both temporal lobes of his brain were affected. There were moments I thought he was going to die AGAIN. The minute his family whom he was NEVER close to were informed, they pushed me completely out of the picture. Again, his family was NEVER close to him and he was not close to them. In fact, his own mother screwed him out of nearly $200,000.00 on a house of hers that she was giving to him to fix up which he spent $80,000.00 of his own money doing and then once it was finished, the deal was once he sells it – he gives her $100,000.00 and he gets to keep the rest to cover what he put into it and to cover the labor. Right before the house was finished, she got a restraining order against him and sold the house to someone else for $100,000.00. Totally screwing my boyfriend, so he wrote her off completely. His family basically kicked me out of our house by changing the lock code when I wasn’t there, they went in and stole his safe, all the keys to the vehicles, boat, and motorcycle, took his truck, took his big money jar that was filled to the top. They wouldn’t allow me to be involved in his care or be at the meetings with his medical team so I couldn’t hear first hand what his outcome would be or ask the proper questions that no body wanted to ask cause honestly they are just a bunch of stupid people whom are not medically inclined as I am from being in the medical field for 15 years. All they cared about what his money and possessions. The few times I spoke with his dad to get an update which I literally had to force out of him and quite honestly I felt like I lost brains cells trying to figure how someone can be so damn stupid and careless and not ask the type of questions I was asking because the answers I got were I don’t know and what do you want us to do, what do you expect us to do? HOW ABOUT YOU USE YOUR HEAD AND ASK THE QUESTIONS WHICH ARE COMMON SENSE QUESTIONS!

So now 5 months have gone by and they screwed off all his money and possessions. His family said he would never walk again – and guess what, he started walking. He is even getting his balance back and walking for a short time unaided. His family said he would never talk again, and he has said his kid’s names but that is all he has said. He has not spoken since. He is in there; he understands everything I say to him. He is beating all the odds stacked against him. My goal is to bring him home one day because his family wants to keep him in a nursing home which he never wanted in the first place. The latest crap they are pulling is when his POS mother and his father visit and when the kids mom does their video chats, they all talk badly about me. So when I do video chats with him, even though I keep things positive and talk about only good things that are happening and things I want him to work on, you can see the confusion in his face when looking at me. I can only imagine what is being said but from the comment the assistant made that does the face time calls, I know for a fact that the things being said are the most worst of the worst. The assistant did not sound happy about what they were saying when I told her yea his family does not like me, she stated yea we know we hear a lot of things. Talking negatively to my honey is only going to push his rehabilitation back, not forward. In his mind, if he feels he has nothing to fight to come back for, he will not work his ass off like he should and had been doing. I was supposed to have a video date chat with him on 09.25.2020 because 09.26.2020 was our 6th year anniversary and there was not going to be any staff on to do the call on 09.26.2020. Well, his POS mother was visiting during the time of our date chat and she blocked it, would not allow the video chat to take place. I was so furious!! Between what the assistant had said and his mother blocking our video chat, I went on Facebook and I went off on his whole damn family, calling them all out on their shit. I know childish, but it is what they can only understand as they are not bright people. They act like children so I will treat them as such.

If only my honey had something written up before all of this happened, then his family would have had no control… no say on anything. I knew what Jason’s were and even though I told his family what they were, they IGNORED it. SO now we are a month away from the “this is as good as he will get” point. He has literally a month to open his mouth and start talking otherwise he is going to grow old in a nursing home. I have a caregiver all lined up to help me with him, but his family will fight me every step of the way. It is a fight I will not win; I can tell you that.

And with his family confusing him by talking badly about me and making him think he is still with the kids mom (whom he literally has not been with in over 6 years), it’s difficult each week to bring him back enough to remember us and our time together in a 30 minute window and that's if he remembers at all.

Update from our 10/20/2020 visit: Jason looks at me like I am a complete stranger. He has no clue who I am (which I am sure is because of his family and kids mom) and he has no clue who our fur kids are. His mannerisms have also changed. When you are with someone for a long time, you pick up on the little things - how they scratch their nose or rub their head, fluff their pillow or fix their blankets, etc. He no longer does things as Jason would normally do.

So, what would you do if you were in my shoes? Please send your thoughts to [email protected]