What To Do When Bad Things Happen

When The Unexpected Happens 

Life can change in the blink of an eye…

One moment you are in this groove - you're changing and growing. Suddenly, something outside your control derails the plan that you set in motion. 

Whether that something is a recent accident, death, or bad news - it disrupts you. 

I have learned to start pausing when bad things happen. Sometimes things don't make sense, we may question it or even God. That's okay to do; your mind is grabbling with the facts of the situation. 

Allow yourself to feel and think what you may. Do not, however, stuff those feelings away. Feelings like visitors will pop up one day unexpectedly. They usually are amplified at this point and do more damage than good. 

So, go ahead - cry, journal, run, shake, yell, or walk. Connect back to your body and remind yourself that it will be okay. The situation may look bleak, hopeless, or even cloudy. 

Honestly, let it look that way. Sometimes we try to fix things immediately without letting the storm pass first. Allow the storm to pass. 

Find Your Place Of Solace 

I try to fix things - because I am a fixer. Well, this time it backfired. My emotions came up without any warning. I had to pull away from others and find a place of solace. 

Everyone's place of solace may look different. To some, it may be a home, church, a group of friends, or a person. 

Go to your place of solace and let yourself stay there for a moment. Take a pause and gather yourself. It is completely fine to do this. The world needs more places of solace and more pauses. 

Lean into the silence, lean into the emptiness, and allow your heart to shatter, or even break. It is going to anyway. So, the best place to be is somewhere you feel safe, seen, and heard. 

Once you are there - unpack everything. Express it, let it roll out of your mouth, feel, think, sob, and let it all go. You will feel better once you do. 

My Story

My life changed a few days ago. My sister, husband, and I found my mother unresponsive. She was rushed to the hospital and placed in ICU. She suffered from a moderate stroke. The whole situation was devastating. 

In that devastation, I found my place of solace. I connected with a different part of me. I became balanced and refocused on what truly matters. 

Sometimes bad things happen to help you remember what's truly important. Other times bad things happen to remind you that tomorrow is not promised. This life we all have is only temporary. 

Bad things come to help us make sweet moments a little sweeter. To cherish these moments, smell the rain, touch the trees, and appreciate life in a new way. 

Today my mother is making a lot of progress. She is no longer in ICU, she is speaking, eating on her own, and can move her limbs. 

I allowed the storm to pass so that I could see the damage. I am glad I did. In that pause, I was able to help mend myself and find solace. 

My mother has a long road to recovery. We will be there every step of the way. I am thankful to have allowed what I was feeling to come to the surface. This allowed me to be present and available for my mom. 

Moving forward will be hard, however, it doesn't have to be impossible. 

The Plan

When bad things happen, here's what to do:

1. Find your place of solace

My place was God, my family, friends, pets, and nature. I spent many hours in these places or with these people. 

2. Journal 

I wrote down how I was feeling. I stated how I felt and what I thought. This helped me gain clarity to move through my inner world. 

3. Take care of yourself

I rested, worked out, walked in nature, listened to music, did some hobbies, and watched my favorite movies. Do the things that bring you joy and happiness. 

Your mind will always remind you of the bad, so try to remind it of all the good. 

4. Remember who you are 

Catalog all of your accomplishments, achievements, and victories in life. Look back at old photos and memories. Let your confidence rise. 

Everyone faces dark days, the trick is to acknowledge it. Once, you do that go forth with a renewed sense of purpose. 

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We won't always be prepared for the valleys in life, but here's a reminder to appreciate the journey anyway. The journey is where you find yourself and who you were always meant to be. 

Now, go and be brave despite what life may throw at you.