How Assumptions Keep Us Stuck

Understanding Assumptions 

Assumptions are the root of disagreements, causes of conflict, and the expected truth without evidence. 

We all have assumptions, but how do we stop them from overtaking and causing problems throughout our lives?

In life, assumptions can have damaging effects if not recognized for what they are: observations, beliefs, feelings, and thoughts about something or someone. This may make them inaccurate. 

People often make assumptions based on race, location, and environment. For instance, someone wearing glasses might be seen as a nerd or geek. Similarly, someone who was a jock in high school might not be considered the most brilliant student in their class. 

What about our assumptions of spouses, children, friends, community, neighbors, and strangers? 

The neighbor is lazy because he doesn't work full-time, the husband has to be having an affair because he is never home, or the children misbehave because they are not getting enough attention at home.

I could go on and on…, but the fact is that assumptions are trouble and will wreak havoc if we let them. 

Those very same assumptions build and build until they become how we identify someone else. We stop seeing the person or place the way they are because of assumptions. 

We turn our noses up, stop speaking to them, gossip, whisper, and spread lies, and eventually, this starts to affect someone's whole identity. 

This is hurtful, rude, and disrespectful to ourselves and others. We stop empathizing and seeing each other as humans. 

For instance, that lazy neighbor isn't lazy - he has a health condition that stops him from working full-time. Now, he can't find more work because everyone in town thinks he's lazy. 

The misbehaving children are misbehaving because something is not right at home. The parents are not parenting as they should. 

Now, they have trouble making friends, are talked about, pointed out, and act out even more. When in reality, they are acting out because of behavioral disorders. 

What other people or things have assumptions caused harm to?

"Assumptions are made, and most assumptions are wrong."

 - Albert Einstein 

Assumptions vs Intuition 

Assumptions can have dangerous effects if not dealt with correctly. Take a look at any drama or movie that was ever made. You can find just about any assumption from one of the characters that leaves a trail of chaos behind. 

However, it is important not to confuse intuition with assumptions. Intuition is more of a sixth sense, a soul/gut feeling, a hunch, or clairvoyance. 

Intuition signals that something is approaching, and you know exactly what it is. It just comes to you without reason or thought. 

You can test your intuition immediately and see if it is true. So, why don't we do that with assumptions? We see someone or something and immediately form an opinion of them or it. 

We don't question or even ask questions about most things. However, we are living in the Information Age, and finding real, truthful information is more important now than ever. 

This year (2024) is a Presidential Election Year. You can see and hear all the information circling the web right now. It is daunting, slightly overwhelming, and a repeating cycle. 

What's essential at this time is to figure out what and why this information is important, how to decipher details, where the key facts are, and when these figures were published. 

In reality, we have to become researchers and scientists today. We are either feeding others information or eating the information. It is up to us to decide which details are truthful and evident. 

The Plan 

Here's what to do:

Check Your Emotions. Try not to react but to understand. 

What did they mean by that comment? Ask for clarity. What you think they are saying may be different from what they mean. Everyone processes information differently. 

2. Question everything - don't take things at face value 

For example, Is this article unbiased? What point are they trying to spin? Many publications want to solicit an emotion or reaction. What is the other side of this story? 

3. Do Your Research 

Where can I find more information about this person, event, or place? What have multiple sources said about the event/person in question? There are always two sides to a story, and then you have the truth. 

4. Gather factual information and then make an informed opinion 

Find sources, publications, and media that you trust. Ask yourself if you are coming from an unbiased perspective. For we all have our biases. 

Make sure the information is from both sides and not just one side. You want the whole story before you make a decision. 

5. Breathe - it's easier said than done 

Going from assumptions to the truth is hard. It is extra work, and it can be tiring. You may even feel that you don't have the time. 

We have to start for the sake of the human race, to use checks and balances, and they may not be perfect, but at least they are a start. 

We live in a flawed world, and no one person is above the next. So, we owe it to ourselves to ensure we have all the details, facts, statistics, and news before we assume things. 

This list above, however, is a partial one. It can be used to challenge our assumptions about the people and world around us. 

Will you join me? We will never have all the answers, but here's to praise and a new beginning for giving it our best shot.