What to Do to Get Back to Normal After a Painful Breakup

Returning to normal after the breakup can be extremely difficult at times - it seems to you that nothing will be the same and that the pain will always feel just as unbearable.

Especially if you loved, if you believed in the other, if you trusted the other, and he/she simply left you, without too many regrets, a breakup is very painful.

Returning to normal after a breakup that seems to have stolen a part of your soul takes a long time, it requires a lot of patience and maturity on your part. Some friends can't understand what you're going through - either because they haven't had a difficult breakup or because they've already forgotten about it (which proves you can forget).

These friends can tell you things that don't help you, like, "Come on in, take a look and enjoy yourself!" But you don't care if it's worth it, you don't care about fun (you think you'll never be able to have fun again), all you know is that you feel worse than you ever thought and that you want to be alone…

What to do to get back to normal after parting

• Time. Allow time to pass, you can't feel good all of a sudden and that's normal. Stay alone for a while, don't throw yourself into fun, and don't start another relationship just out of revenge, to "show him/her"! Wait, think and analyze the past relationship and the reasons for the breakup. You may come to realize that no matter how much it hurts, it's still better that way.

• Speaks. Don't isolate yourself for too long, because you feel bad; all you have to do is always remember, live in the past. Instead, try to keep up with the present; and for that, turn to a close friend, whom you trust and who has also gone through a breakup at some point. Talk to this friend, tell him how you feel, ask him for advice, ask his opinion about what happened. And if you still don't feel ready to talk, at least stay with him/her so that you don't feel alone. You are not alone, you will never be alone, you will always have friends and family who love you around you. You are not the only one going through this hell - each of us has gone through a painful breakup at least once. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT ain't for me either.

• Maturity. If you study or work together, if you meet in the same places, avoid making scenes in public, scenes that show others that you are immature and that hurt you too, frustrating and annoying you. Avoid the former as much as possible, and if it is necessary to speak, limit yourself to a few dry words. Do not insult in public, because it does not help anyone.

• Self-esteem. A breakup never happens only through the fault of one of your lovers, so there is no point in blaming yourself, blaming yourself, obsessively looking for where and how you went wrong. We all make mistakes in one couple, it is important whether the other is willing to overcome our mistakes or not. And if he is not willing, it means that the relationship was not the right one! Don't think that she/he left you because you are not good enough, think about all your qualities and the fact that you are the one who deserves someone better, more suitable!

• Relationship objects. Returning to normal after separation means getting rid of the objects that remind you of that relationship: gifts from him/her, things of his / her left with you. It would be best to put them somewhere well, give them to someone you trust to hide them, and not give them back to you until you have moved on. Being surrounded by objects that bring back painful memories doesn't help you at all, so don't be a masochist! Even if it hurts when you gather all those things, you have to take this step towards the future. And if you feel hatred, frustration, nerves, it can even help you do a little ritual of "exorcism": gather all the objects and set them on fire with a friend!

• "Mud". Part of getting back to normal after breaking up is realizing that it's not (just) your fault, seeing the other person's bad parts, and not idealizing him/her! Seek the help of friends for another little "exorcism" ritual: gather and start "throwing mud" at your ex (not in public). Talk about all its flaws, its ugly, bad, unbearable aspects. This way, you will see that it was not for you and it will be easier for you to get over the separation. If you still don't feel ready to speak ill of the other person, it means that you are still clinging to the past, so try to realize that it is over. It's a nasty step, but very useful to get over it: the more you see the other side of the bad, the easier it is for you to get over it!

• Activities. Don't forget who you are and what you like to do! A month of "mourning" is enough. Don't isolate yourself too much and don't give up activities that you enjoy, that make you feel good. Look for new activities to spend your time with. It is neither mature nor useful to cry for pity: friends understand you, but only for a while.

• Meetings. It wasn't your partner, that's for sure. He wasn't even right for you, he didn't know how to appreciate you, to love you, and to get over the little difficulties. But someone else may succeed! Don't think that you won't have a relationship, that your love life is over - such thoughts are childish, and in the future, you will laugh at them. After a month, two, maximum of three, he agrees to go out in the city, to meet new people. You may not find a suitable partner too soon, but at least you meet new people, you communicate, you remember how pleasant it is to be admired, approached, how pleasant it is to flirt. And if you decide to start a relationship with someone, be careful not to hurt him/her: we tend to throw ourselves into another relationship after the breakup to forget and to show others that we are ok. But if you know this is the case, if you want to go out with someone just to forget, be careful not to hurt the other person and tell him the truth!

• Learned. When the pain subsides, it decreases (and it will decrease, even if you can't believe it), remember your own mistakes that could have contributed to the breakup and remember them, to try not to repeat them in the future.

• Initiation. The first breakup (or the most painful of them) and then return to normal after the breakup is a ritual of initiation into life, of maturation. You learn to cope with difficulties, to control yourself, to manage pain. It may not seem like an optimistic thought, but realize that you need this lesson, because there will be more breakups in your life (most likely) and you need to know how to learn something from each and get over each one until you will meet "that someone". And the more partings, the more experience. It is normal, when you are young, to experiment, to have fun, to be ready to get involved in a serious relationship without any regrets!