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What Eye Contact Means in Asian Dating Culture

Starting into those captivating and soulful eyes.

By Lai QiuPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

Cultural differences make dating in Asia quite difficult because traditional Asian parents like to be involved in the dating lives of their children, especially their daughters.

They’re wonderful people who treasure family, love, and marriage. They pride themselves on being able to keep their relationships healthy and stable over the years.

You may think that their being overprotective is excessive, yet it yields good outcomes most of the time.

Nevertheless, knowing that Asian women are some of the most sincere partners you’ll ever meet makes dating them worthwhile.

How Eye Contact is Perceived Differently

Non-verbal communication helps make a conversation more engaging and meaningful. It is a means to fully express one’s self, especially when words alone hardly suffice.

Without these non-verbal cues that we can use and decode, stronger relationships with others might be challenging to achieve.

But what you should know is that cultures interpret non-verbal cues differently, and one of those is eye contact. This establishes the fact that based on what a culture sees as acceptable and appropriate, eye contact can mean anything.

To clarify things, here’s what you should remember about eye contact in different cultures:

1. Western Europe

The customs of eye contact in Europe, especially in countries such as Germany, France, and Spain, are closely related to that of the United States, which is generally polite.

However, eye contact in impersonal public situations is uncalled for, and because of this, people avoid looking into a stranger’s eyes while strutting down the sidewalk.

2. Latin America

Brief eye contact is mostly ideal for people with different social statuses. On the other hand, prolonged eye contact is interpreted as a challenge to authority.

To avoid coming off as disrespectful to someone of higher authority than you, it’s important to be familiar with the right manner of eye contact before you visit a place.

3. Africa

Like what other cultures mostly do, Africans maintain stable eye contact during the length of a conversation. But for older Africans, one must show respect to authority by averting their eyes every now and then.

Staring Unconsciously

The eyes are the fastest muscle in the human body and one that is mostly used. Its ability to fully function at any given moment, even without the need to rest, is superb. It is used every day and makes you appreciate everything around you.

Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

A blink happens so quickly that it lasts only 100-150 milliseconds, making you blink approximately 4,200,000 in a single year. If that isn’t enough to impress you, 80% of your memories are determined by what you see.

Although your eyes are continually moving, many of your eye movements occur subconsciously. On another note, your eye movements may also reveal the thought processes you make.

Types of Gazes

The eyes can tell so much about your relationship with others. The way you hold your gazes and control your eye movements can also reveal who plays the dominant role.

If you have a strong personality, you tend to make eye contact faster and gaze more persistently.

Below are some of the different types of gazes you should know about:

1. Glancing Up

Someone who pauses and looks up during a conversation is thinking, or it could be that they’re visualizing their thoughts and organizing them in a clear statement.

If they look up and move their eyes to the left, it means that they’re recalling a certain memory. If they look to the right, it could be that they’re constructing an image in their mind.

2. Glancing Down

Someone who looks down is giving you a sign of submission. They’re telling you that they aren’t a threat and you shouldn’t treat them like one.

On another note, looking down and then left is also a way for them to mumble to themselves during a conversation, whereas glancing down and looking right means they’re dealing with their emotions.

3. Direct Stare

This is a common form of eye contact wherein two conversing people directly look in each other’s eyes all throughout the exchange. Amongst the types of gazes, this shows undivided attention, mutual respect, and pure interest in each other.

4. Horizontal Scan

When you talk with someone you’re intimate with, you tend to look at each other in a horizontal manner, and deepening your gaze on each other is an invitation for more intimacy and physical contact.

Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

5. Vertical Scan

Looking at someone from head to toe is indicative of your interest. This type of gaze only applies when you find someone from the opposite sex attractive and is your subtle way of checking them out.

6. Sidelong Glance

You’ve most likely stared at someone secretly. Afraid you’ll be caught red-handed, you opt to look at them through side glances mainly because directly looking at them increases your chances of getting caught.

As an observer, you simply aim to look at a certain angle and immediately glance away when they look in your direction all of a sudden.

Seeing Through Her Asian Origin

Certainly, not everyone from Asia is open to engaging in eye contact. Specifically in East Asia, some interpret making eye contact as unpleasant and making someone look unapproachable.

But it’s equally important for you to know that some ladies do appreciate it when you look them in the eye. It’s one of the easiest ways they can gauge your attention and interest, and whether you’re being truthful with what you communicate or not.

In a nutshell, eye contact is a crucial part of nonverbal communication and impacts relationship-building. As long as you know eye contact is something she’s fine with, there’s no reason not to look her in the eyes.

If you want to make eye contact the proper way, keep these things in mind:

  • Make sure you’re sincerely interested in her.
  • Don’t be tense.
  • Be casual while glancing in her direction.
  • Avoid being a creep. Don’t stare.
  • Smile.
  • Look at her, but don’t examine her.
  • Read and interpret her facial expressions.
  • Don’t be the first to break eye contact. It should be her.
Lai Qiu, Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker for Asian Women

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About the Creator

Lai Qiu

Dating Coach and Professional Matchmaker for Asian Women

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