What Does Selfishness Involve in the Couple and How Does It Affect the Relationship?

Selfishness in the couple makes the selfish person's partner feel unappreciated, unimportant, ignored, even unloved. Sometimes, it can lead to the partner's patience - when he feels that what he feels or wants is never important to the other, he always stays in second place (if not completely ignored).

A selfish person always thinks first of himself, what needs and desires he has and often ignores those of others - and in the couple's relationship, this is a destructive attitude.

Selfishness in the couple decreases or even destroys the feeling of partnership, of communion, of equality between partners. With a selfish partner, in the relationship always the watchword will be "me" and not "us"!

The selfish and egocentric person believes himself to be the center of the world and expects to be treated as the center of the world, while his partner, no matter how much he loves, gets tired of this egocentrism and selfishness, gets tired of constantly being the one he has to pay attention, but he doesn't get anything in return.

The selfish person is generally considered entitled to be so, having a (more or less justified) sense of superiority. This person lives with the conviction that he always knows what is better and what is to be done, even managing to convince his partner of this fact.

A selfish man with a sense of superiority sometimes chooses an influential partner, whom he can manipulate and persuade to please, even making him addicted - until the partner thus played reaches a tolerance limit.

Selfishness in the couple means that the selfish person focuses only on his own needs. What he/she believes and feels, what he/she wants is of major importance, and if he/she does not find the required attention, approval, and obedience to his / her partner, it will make him/her feel guilty.

The self-exacerbated person looks at the world only from his perspective, does not want to understand, or cannot understand and value the other's perspective.

Sometimes, when this trait is exacerbated, the person behaves almost like a child: he always demands attention; demands reassurance that it is the best and most important; he asks to be liked, and when he is refused, he behaves exaggeratedly (anger or sadness). As a couple, partners do what he/she wants to do together - only / her interests are valuable.

The selfish person wants and demands everything - demands to be at the center of the couple's world, demands attention, demands appreciation, demands approval and admiration, demands love and dedication from the other.

He sometimes asks them to make some compromises in the name of the couple's relationship, to dedicate themselves to them, giving up other activities that occupy them in time. But he doesn't think he should offer as much - just presenting himself as a partner should satisfy the other!

The selfish person does not listen: when the partner tries to express his own needs, desires and explains that he is too self-centered, he will notice in the other too little interest and even less real attention. Just like the saying goes, one ear comes in and the other comes out…

Selfishness in the couple often appears in the intimate life of the partners. When there is no interest and concern for the partner's wishes and his satisfaction. When the intimate life focuses only on one's satisfaction and not on the other's.

When he refuses his partner's intimate wishes, limiting himself to acts that satisfy him/her and directly asking for anything that would please him/her, expecting his / her wishes to be fulfilled…

What does selfishness involve in a couple?

It means either that the partner is the type of individual who is excessively egocentric and selfish, with a visible superiority complex, the type of individual who asks everyone around him to swarm around him and to please them (attitude born and encouraged most probably from childhood, from family).

When this is the case, the person behaves in a selfish and self-centered manner in all the relationships he has: in the couple; in the family; in the group of friends; in the professional group. Such a person generally attracts weak, influential people around him, whom he can manipulate and whom he can convince of his superiority; instead, he runs away from those people who confront him and who refuse to please him and who refuse to reassure him, to admire him, to appreciate him.

Moreover, he looks for relationships that benefit him - he is not attracted to people unless he gets something. However, although he may behave unacceptably, an overly selfish individual may still sincerely love his partner - but this does not mean that he will not continue to put himself first… A selfish exacerbated man may feel, of course, real love for the couple's partner - but often, self-love takes precedence and overshadows any other feeling…

But selfishness in the couple (especially in intimate life) can also mean that the person does not love his partner and does not value the relationship! Selfishness in the couple does not necessarily mean that the person is excessively selfish and self-centered: in other relationships, it does not display this selfish behavior.

But in the couple's relationship, because he does not see it as something serious, but as a momentary play, he behaves selfishly, wanting to get everything that can be obtained from his partner. Ask for what you want without remorse and do not value the needs or desires of the other, because they do not value and love the other!