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What Are the Difficulties That a Child Raised Only by His Father Encounters

And How Do We Help Him

By [email protected]Published 4 years ago 5 min read
What Are the Difficulties That a Child Raised Only by His Father Encounters
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

A child raised only by the father is deprived of that unique, intimate relationship that is formed between the mother and her child. He is often forced to grow quickly, mature prematurely, and cope with adversity.

A single father faces an impressive task: it depends on him how the child will develop. And although he will never be able to make up for the lack of a relationship between mother and child, he can give the little one a childhood.

Difficulties faced by a child raised only by his father

Maternal role. The mother is the one who takes care of her baby, who is always by his side, who gives him the warmth and affection he needs. The absence of the mother robs the child of an essential part of childhood, the joy of having someone who loves you unconditionally and who helps you in any situation.

The father can and must try to give the child the same sense of security, physical and emotional security, to ensure that he is always with him.

Time. A single father works hard and sometimes tries to make up for the lack of time spent together by giving gifts to the child. But he needs to stay with his parent, especially when the father is the only one he has.

A child raised only by his father needs more than anyone else the feeling of closeness, of activities together, of knowing that it is important in the life of the parent. The lack of time spent together cannot be offset by anything.

Lack of a female figure in the house. The woman gives a house that feeling of "home", warmth and organization. The female figure provides the child with a safe environment, where he feels safe from danger and close to his loved ones.

The mother figure provides care and teaches the child what a relationship, human contact, communication, and intimacy means. A child without the figure of a mother can become isolated, closed in on himself, especially if the relationship with the father stops at conversations about daily needs.

Emotions. What is the reason why my mother is missing? If the mother has left home or is imprisoned in the penitentiary, the child may develop emotions and feelings of self-blame or guilt, rejection, the accusation of the father.

He has to blame someone. Therefore, only open communication can prevent him from drawing hasty conclusions. If he blames his father, he will turn away from him and shut himself up. If the mother dies, the child may develop risky depression, so it is a good idea to watch carefully for signs of depression.

Conflict. Every parent comes into conflict with their children, especially during adolescence, but also when they are young. The mother is usually the person who settles the conflict, who has the patience and warmth to invite communication, not rejection.

It will be very difficult for a single father to resolve the conflict because there is no other person to intervene between the parties to the conflict and mediate them. The two - the father and the child - are alone and have to resolve their misunderstandings on their own. And when feelings of guilt are added to a seemingly insignificant conflict, then the situation is difficult to manage.

Try to set clear boundaries and rules and talk openly with the child - when he makes a mistake, tell him why he made a mistake, not just punish him. In the event of a conflict, don't get upset if you throw unpleasant things in front of you - it's just a child. Let him sit alone for a while, think, calm down, and try to talk to him afterward.

Tips for a baby raised only by my father

Communication. You can't offer him the emotions of the relationship between mother and child, but you can give him the feeling of security, comfort, attachment through communication.

Don't limit yourself to discussions about what your child wants and needs to do. Even when he is little, try to talk to him, ask him what he thinks, how he feels, and tell him what you think. An open relationship in which the father and the child talk can give him much-needed warmth and intimacy.

Time together. You are busy with the service, try to give him everything the little one needs. But remember: more important than toys are the activities together, the feeling that you are close to him and that you are stable support.

A child raised only by his father may face a lack of sense of stability, security, so a close relationship between father and child helps him more than you realize. So, plan various weekend activities together and every night, no matter how tired you are, talk to him, spend some time with him.

Childhood. Give the little one a childhood. Do not force it to grow prematurely. Of course, he will have to learn to deal with certain things on his own: school preparation, food package, homework. But let him be a child, don't take too much responsibility when he's small.

Make sure you spend time with other children - organized at your home in the afternoon playing with colleagues, neighbors - so as not to be isolated. Provide him with games and, as much as possible, a warm house, a "home" atmosphere: toys, photos, a kitchen where you can eat together when possible, at least in the evening.

Family and female model. Make sure he spends time with a close woman, a woman who will give him a feminine role model and affection. Grandma - any of the grandparents - can make up for the lack of a mother.

In addition, regularly organize meals in the family, to give him the feeling of stability, security, to feel that he is part of a family group. Especially for a little girl, try to give her a female role model, because you can't help her with some things and activities.

Mother. The child raised only by the father needs to know who his mother was, how she was, how much she loved him. Whatever the situation, the reason why the mother is missing (death, flight, divorce, deprivation of liberty), creates for the little one a mental image of his mother, a positive image.

Talk about it, even if it makes you sad, and give the little one something to relate to. Show him pictures with the two of you, tell him about his mother's ideas and thoughts, do everything so that the little one and then the teenager have the feeling that he knows her.

Don't try to ignore the mother's absence by thinking that it is easier for the child and that she may forget that something is missing! He will never forget that he does not have a mother and will help him to be able to imagine her, to be able to imagine conversations with her, to be able to dream of her.

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