Turn Your Pain into Passion and Find Your Authenticity

By a show of hands... How many of us have had our hearts broken? I’m not talking puppy dog love gone wrong on the playground broken, I’m talking about a heartbreak so bad you can physically feel the pain. If you have had the unfortunate experience to understand that kind of pain, let me say, “I’m sorry.”

I, too, have experienced this kind of heartbreak and while I couldn’t see it at the moment, it was a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we need to have our heart broken because there’s power in the pain. There’s beauty in the pain. There’s a lesson in the pain.

Let me ask you, what did you do with that pain? Did you swear you’ll never love again? Did you shut yourself off from the world? Or did you give yourself a moment to grieve then begin working through the pain? Pain breeds strength, so it is important for us to trust the struggle and do our work.

This is the aspect we cannot overlook. We’ve got to seek healing for ourselves and not lay that responsibility on anyone else. We are responsible for learning from our past hurts, so that we don’t experience them again. This takes us examining ourselves from the inside out.

Healing our wounds is a multifaceted process. You’ve got to remove yourself from the situation. Give yourself time to grieve and then begin picking up the pieces. The pain, the memories, and the sleepless nights will all come and go. With time, those scars will heal. But what you do while you’re hurting, while you’re feeling broken and at your lowest point is what matters the most. During her 2016 Golden Globes acceptance speech, Meryl Streep told us to, “Take our broken heart and turn it into art.” That’s what I want to encourage you to do right now as well. Take that pain and turn it into your passion. I can’t tell you what to be passionate about. That part is up to you. But hopefully, by doing your work, you will find your passion, use that pain and turn it into personal greatness.

No one has the power to ruin your life unless you give them that power. Take your broken heart and heal yourselves, my loves. I can tell you from personal experience that time does heal all wounds and joy most certainly comes in the morning.

Don’t get stuck in your pain. Embrace it and continue to become the greatness you were created to be. Being single can be a beautiful thing. No, seriously. Aside from maybe not having anyone to cuddle up next to at 3 am, being single has a lot of perks. I don’t think it gets enough credit. I mean, think about it. What other time in your life will you get the chance to be unapologetically selfish? This time in your life won’t last forever. So why not make the most of it while it’s here.

This is the perfect time in your life to get to know who you truly are. Not who someone told you you should be. Not who you think you should be. But who you were truly created you to be. We are so consumed with images and videos of the “perfect woman” that sometimes we strive to be someone or something we are not. When we do that, we will never get to experience life and be genuinely happy. Get to know yourself, your dreams, wants, and needs. Then, the next time a man tries to change who you are, it won’t happen because you’ve got solid footing on who you were created you to be.

Being single is the perfect time to focus on your goals and dreams. You owe it to yourself to create the life you were made to live. Sometimes that means ending relationships with others so that you can grow and blossom. Let me tell you, life is much more fulfilling when you are living in your purpose. Make the vision board, write down your goals step by step, and know that you will stop at nothing to make your dreams come true. Hard work and perseverance are the keys to life.

When you’ve come to the point where you know who you are as a person and what you were put on this earth to do, you become more of your authentic self. That ladies is a wonderful place to be. When you become so comfortable with yourself and your life, no matter what stage you’re in, that outside opinions and naysayers don’t matter; you’re reaching your authentic self. And how wonderful it is for the people around you to get to experience you as your authentic self. I guarantee your relationships with your family, your children, and even your coworkers will improve once you start living authentically but you must first do the work to get there.

Yes, cuddling with yourself at 3 am on a cold night might not seem appealing. But, think of all the positives and opportunities you have as a single woman to create a life of love and acceptance just for yourself. Then think about how you’ll be able to share that love and acceptance with your future partner.

Create an atmosphere and a space for your relationship to grow and blossom because you’re not depending on a relationship to bring you happiness. You’ve found your happiness, your purpose, and your authentic self. You, my friend, are truly living your best life. Life is short, and we only get one life. Why not do the work that’s needed to live in authenticity and free from all judgments? That’s the life I want to live! Don’t you want the same?