Tips for Facing Jealousy

Jealousy is said to represent salt and pepper in a relationship, but it should be consumed in moderation because, in excess, it harms the couple's health.

Anyone involved in a love affair has experienced jealousy at some point, whether it has been felt by themselves, or whether their partner has manifested as such.

Jealousy is the feeling of uncertainty that overwhelms you when you want the person you are in a relationship to pay attention to exclusively. On the other hand, it feels nice.

It is said that a little jealousy has never hurt in a relationship, on the contrary, it keeps love alive and is a clear sign that there is interest from those involved, but a difference must be made between what we feel and how we manifest.

Although we sometimes perceive it as a compliment, there is a limit that can be easily exceeded and that leads to jealousy in the pathological sphere.

From here to violence and degradation in personal and couple, is one step.

Keep in mind the following when you feel that jealousy is about to affect your personal and marital life:

Accept that you are going through such a state.

The most harmful behavior you can have in the first phase towards your partner is caused by the fact that you are still in the denial phase and you make an effort to hide this, generating, paradoxically, more and more tension and conflict situations. Passive aggression is not a short-term solution.

Accept your condition and try to talk to your partner about the uncertainties you have. Many times it can happen that you are wrong, other times it can happen that your scenarios are as real as possible.

Consider both possibilities, approach your partner at a time when you feel calm and ready to listen, and have a dignified conversation.

Learn to listen.

Even if in the first phase your temptation will be to say as soon as possible and in as much detail as possible what you feel, sometimes in an aggressive tone, sometimes tried by an anxious state, give your partner a chance to answer you.

Learn to listen to him and try to calm his nervousness, because in this way you will only force him to adopt a defensive position that will certainly not be to your advantage.

Think that for your peace of mind it is important to let him say everything he has to say, whether you like what you hear or not.

Later, when you can take a closer look at the situation, you will be thankful for it.

Look at your relationship from the perspective of your friends.

It is an exercise that you can use and whose purpose is to try to look at the situation from the outside, as much as possible.

If you were one of your friends and found out about this situation, how would you react? Would you immediately start to have dark thoughts or would you realize that this is a common situation and that everything is probably okay?

Try to distance yourself a little from what you feel and take a step outside the relationship you have in order to have a more accurate picture of reality.

Detach yourself from unpleasant past experiences.

The first reaction you will have will be to make the detective compare the former relationships with the current situation.

It's the last thing you want to do. You will be able to create scenarios that you would not have thought you were capable of when it all started. Neither you nor the person you are in a relationship with deserves this.

No one relationship is the same. You can't pretend that you've never cheated just because it hasn't happened before, just as you can't assume that your partner is cheating on you just because he did it in one of his relationships.

People behave the way you treat them. In general, you receive what you give, because there is a balance in everything we do, so it would be advisable to analyze a little and your own behavior when trying to find answers for the situation you are in.

Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.

This does not necessarily mean that you have to ignore everything you feel and that you have to imagine that everything is perfect in the relationship you have.

On the contrary, it would be an attitude that would cause you to sink even deeper into the sea of ​​uncertainty. Accept your condition, but try not to be overwhelmed by it.

It is well known that, no matter what happens before our eyes, each person sees only what he wants to see, no matter how obvious the opposite is.

The human brain has this ability to pass everything we experience through its own filter so that a suspicious attitude can take over us completely so that we can no longer distinguish the positive aspects.

Think about the reasons why you chose to be in a relationship with the person next to you.

Think about her qualities and the positive influence she has had and still has on you. The jealousy you feel starts precisely from the desire to have that person only for you.

Do a simple exercise and remember why you want so many to stay there.

It will be useful for you to keep track of reason in analyzing the given situation.

Do not hesitate to ask for specialized help.

If you have every reason to believe that the jealousy you show is just the creation of your mind, do not hesitate to seek the help of a psychologist. You can choose to do this alone, or with your partner.

This way, you will have the opportunity to talk openly with your therapist, you will be able to ask questions, and you will have the opportunity to discover things about yourself that will be of real use to you over time. Keep your mind open and don't think you're compromising.

It is a solution that any mature person uses and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

Take responsibility for making decisions.

Because jealousy affects not only the person in question but also the partner, the relationship may deteriorate even if the reasons for jealousy have not been substantiated.

You can't accuse a person of bad intentions indefinitely, and you can't wait indefinitely for that person to have a defensive attitude and give you answers, thus creating a toxic relationship from which you will both come out as wrinkled as possible.

Accept reality, take responsibility for your actions, and make a decision, no matter how difficult it may seem to you. It often happens that you later realize that this is the best thing you've ever done.