The Saddest Thing About Betrayal Is That It Doesn’t Come From Enemies at All

Sooner or later, we all face betrayal - on a certain segment of our life's journey. And do you know what is the saddest thing about betrayal? That it does not come from our enemies. In most cases, the traitor is one of the closest ones - a close relative, best friend, husband, or wife…

Betrayal is incredibly painful and, if you feel unable to cope with the effects of its consequences, it will crush you - slowly, insidiously, and imperceptibly, affecting all areas of your life.

Betrayal is the emotional equivalent of a deep wound and takes a long time to heal. Sometimes the pain and despair that accompany it are felt as if it will never end and all this will last forever. But that's not the way things are. Everything is fleeting, this will pass too.

Actionable advice:

1. Talk to the person who betrayed you

Two different people have different opinions about the same event. And what seems to you an obvious and malicious betrayal may, for others, seem like a series of insults and misunderstandings that have led to certain problems. That is why it is extremely important to speak honestly and openly with the person you consider a traitor. How does the alleged perpetrator perceive the situation and what were his intentions?

Allow him to justify himself. Why accumulate anger, pain, and irritation inside, if there is a chance that the apparent "betrayal" is just a consequence of a serious misunderstanding on your part (or that of the other person involved).

Hate for a person you have never given a chance to explain may never go away, and you will certainly let her shadow fall into other relationships in your personal or professional life.

2. Control your desire for revenge

Some forms of betrayal cause so much pain and such violent emotions that they almost immediately fall into an almost uncontrolled thirst for revenge.

Revenge does not solve the current problem. Moreover, it only spreads the experienced pain and slows down the healing.

The desire for revenge is like the desire to tear a crust from a wound that has just begun to heal: it only divides your emotional wound and causes you a new, completely useless pain. And the more revenge you seek, the more likely you are to carry this pain for the rest of your life - even if your revenge is successful. Especially if he succeeds.

3. Try to sleep well and think about what happened in the morning

Sleep has healing properties. When you feel sad, you can often get away with just getting enough sleep. And even if this is not the case, at least when you get enough sleep, you will have much more power and energy to try to cope with the problems.

The same is true of betrayal. If you happen to experience a betrayal of a loved one and you are very upset, just go to bed. When you wake up, you can look at the situation much more realistically.

4. Stay alone with yourself

When the pain of betrayal has thrown its claws at you, most of the time the best way to ease it at least slightly in the short term is to avoid any contact with the person guilty of this situation.

What does this mean? Well, first of all, you don't have to see him in person, or write messages to him, or look at his pages on social networks every 5 minutes.

Do not seek contact with him and be alone with yourself.

If the contact initiative does not come from you, but from your traitor, then calmly and politely tell him that shortly you want to be alone to face the consequences of what he did. Ask them to respect your decision and leave you alone until you decide otherwise.

5. Ask for help

Never underestimate the power of a properly constructed support network. It doesn't matter how many people it is made up of - one person or ten. However, if you are facing betrayal, you need emotional, physical, or social help, do not hesitate to ask your friends about it…

But for that, surround yourself with people you can trust and let them express their views on the current situation. Many people, faced with betrayal, isolate themselves, which in turn does not allow loved ones to help.

Betrayal is not something you can forget in an instant

You will need enough time to think about what happened and "digest" it, and the time you need may be very different, depending on your specific circumstances.

In time, you will leave betrayal in the past… most of it. And while you may never forget about it, it will stop hanging around your neck with a heavy stone and ruining your life.