The Need to Love vs. The Need to Be Loved

It is said that in love there is always the one who loves and one who is loved. Although an exaggeration, it is true that there is never a stable balance in relationships, that one partner will always offer more than the other. Every being is born with the need to be loved, but it also has the instinct to love.

We may think that everyone wants to feel loved in the first place, but there are people for whom it is more important to give love, to give, and not to receive.

What kind of person are you? Have you ever wondered what is most important to you in a relationship, to feel that your partner loves you, or to know that you love him? If you realize what is in the first place for you, it will be easier for you to figure out if a particular relationship is right or wrong.

The need to love vs. the need to be loved:

It may seem like an artificial separation because, after all, deep and true love involves sharing feelings, communion between two people - a relationship will not last if you just love and do not feel that your feelings are shared or if you leave loved, but not give affection in turn!

Some emphasize the need to feel appreciated and loved by your partner, it is natural. They strengthen their self-esteem and value themselves as beings as long as they feel loved and appreciated by others. Knowing that you deserve someone's love and feeling makes the person feel valued, complete, happy.

But if you feel this need too intensely, you can fall into egocentrism, thinking only of what you want, what you want, what your relationship offers you.

Besides, it is never healthy for one's self-image to depend on the fact that we are loved by a partner: if for various reasons the relationship ends, what remains? If we suddenly stop receiving love, we risk feeling useless, inadequate, as if we do not deserve happiness. It's normal to want to be loved, but not to depend on it.

There are, as has been said, people for whom it is more important to love - they could be called altruistic people, for whom love is valuable in itself and who loves to give. They are the protective ones, with the instinct of protection.

At the same time, some risk becoming a kind of victim in the couple's relationship, accepting to be treated badly by their partner just because they love him. Have you ever wondered why a person stays with a partner who does not offer love, who, moreover, is misbehaving? Because she feels the need to love and is afraid to give up what she has.

Without love, it seems to him that his life would be meaningless. In the end, the whole purpose of some people is to love, regardless of whether their feelings are shared.

Ask yourself: what is most important to you? To say "I love you," or to be called? To give or to receive? But how is your partner? Is it the kind that offers or demands?

Do you fit in from this point of view? Do you feel that there is harmony between the love given and the love received? It is an interesting idea because it is precisely from the dissatisfaction born of the lack of this harmony that conflicts and finally separations arise.

How many times have you heard someone who had just broken up with their partner say with regret and bitterness: "he/she didn't offer me anything, only I was involved in the relationship"?

After all, no matter what kind of person you are, you need to know that no relationship can stand, can't stand, without both receiving and giving love. It is awful to love without feeling that your feelings are shared, just as it is wrong to ask for the other person's love, but not to give him anything.

We need to be loved because it strengthens our self-confidence, makes us feel valued as human beings; but without the feeling that we love, we cannot be complete.