The Greater Good

The Greater Good

Three Foot Tall & Six Feet Deep

By: Savage Scot (Jonathan MacKay)

Why is it that many are confused and unhappy by their current state of affairs?

When I was growing up and the world around was being explained, from what I understood to be intelligent, mature, responsible and accomplished individuals, common phrases were often repeated, as attempts to answer, ensure, encourage or discourage:

“Why?"

Some opinions, suggestions, advice or proverbs held more weight for me than others, with obvious and or more importantly… less obvious reasons.

For instance, there are no clear rules for everything; whereas, there are clear rules for rules. Most notably, “Every rule, has an exception without exception.” Or, the more famous quote: “Not everything that can be counted matters; and not everything that matters… can be counted.”

In essence, I have often literally felt to be an example of a personified exception to the rule.

Could it be minimized to a mere syndrome: Bipolar,

Schizophrenia, Dyslexia?

Generally, questions were misinterpreted, partially answered or not even understood at all. Obvious questions I’ve asked maybe considered impolite or rude -- motivated out of personal interest and desire, to aspire,

To be awake,

To be conscious of being conscious.

To make the real connection between time and money and relationship.

Money can be replaced. Time cannot. How do I choose to value my life and those around me?

Enquiring minds, fueled by curiosity or over active feelings of social responsibility, subjugate infertile compensation for the inability to just “be” normal and love Others.

Living and loving is connecting, directly contributing towards “The Greater Good”.

Without an ability to “Forgive those who, know not what they do.”

Ignorance, a paralyzing and humiliating existence ensues. Watching the last sliver of light disappear through an anticipated, always unexpected violent clash of heavy metal cell doors slamming shut.

Ripples of a violent hollow echo through your bones and a deafening darkness consumes your eyes and traps your soul.

Simple questions can incite anger. I’m told, I have the genius ability for asking stupid questions -- whimsical anecdotes, silver linings and dark analogy, side stepping diversions around the seemingly ludicrous ideas I have of enormous pink elephants dancing about.

“Everyone sees, everyone knows, nobody cares.”

To me, silver linings are often contradictory examples of hope within the struggles of mankind, in that every man or woman, rich or poor, every struggle is real. Even the most privileged and advantaged suffer.

We only know what we have experienced. “Why?”

Relativity.

For the sake of money, acceptance or love, often we will agree to common beliefs or take generalized stands even if it has been contrary to our own experience. It is what it is, avoidance of association to a perceived negative common stereotype or prejudice.

Perhaps a warmer and more friendly reasoning is sympathy, or, at least, an honest attempt at such empathy.

Sympathy, the key divisive separation between beast and man. Compassion, the divisive empathy between one man and a braver, integrity to sympathy.

Clear measures of emotional intelligence aka., “Wits."

To care or not to care, renders irrelevant when begging for bragging rights…

Legitimized pissing matches at human expense or suffering. Prides in ones’ Self Prejudices. Privileged pointy view.

Winners?

Is ignorance truthfully bliss?

Ignorance is also the commonly accepted reason for poverty. We often stand silent to opinions that do not reflect our lived truths.

Can silence support a hope, or belief in “The Greater Good”?

This could be a difficult or impossible concept for “those people.” A little white lie, fed here and there, as a warm sweet swallow of Hope to the starving underbelly. Is all successful individuals seem to need to offer their, brothers, partners, acquaintances, whom through their own choices are now Losing opponents,

Just people that you used to know…

‘Cast’ to the fringes of society…

“Victims of The System, The Unforgiven and The Damned!” Their choices are not your choices.

Losers.

Family morals, secret inheritances and stories of exceptional ethics,

from where some immoral actions may be perceived as just a right, speaking directly of, or to shed light upon the inferred wrong… would be stupid.

Secrets.

“Secrets are best kept…secrets.”

There are some things in this world it seems we have all agreed upon; Compromise is a luxury few can afford comfortably.

For some of us, compromise happens as uncomfortable sacrifices, yearly, monthly. For the majority, it’s weekly.

If you’re experiencing a real vacuum of “luck” or “karma", a connection to “The Greater Good", worst case spiral, you’d eventually be experiencing a life where every moment of every day becomes a compromised slurry of compromising decisions -- a place where your mind and physical freedom become just as easy to hold or direct as the frozen north winter wind.

Legal.

Intelligent or controversial questions are often received inconveniently and uncomfortably by those who do not know the answers or do not want you to know “the truth, you can not afford.”

Alternatively.

The “Why?” you have asked, as far as the individual you asked remembers, the proper response is as it should be to hurt you…out of ever…asking that and or those stupid questions ever again.

Love.

Has there been a more difficult time to decipher clever spells cast, from mainstream media or virtual social platforms. These engineered virtual versions of connection;

Real…or unreal?

Take a Side.

Declaring a truth based on other’s or another’s third parties experience, regardless of whether it seems sound advice at that time…without clear context, you’d never know.

Mob Mentality.

Everyone, it seems, has multiple games on the go.

The first of which, we play our own game against our self.

“Against the Wind,” as one of my favorite musicians highlights the struggle in song.

I vs. Am

You have a Light side to play and a Dark side to play.

Us vs. Them

“Careful what you wish for…”

Where you may be blessed, endorsed, entitled, deserving, or just lucky enough to be invited into the game of glass houses. This is where the famous and public figures live, often ruined and occasionally reborn or sometimes immortalized.

So many, wish to be more than just a pawn in the game or a mere spectator there or in their own board life.

Are you wondering where I’m going with this; presuming, everything is as it should be now.

Michael, my lawyer, has just given life to his place on this page in his essence.

Resurrecting the dried ink, from this little black book, once a useful common item, a staple in most everyone’s life, now undervalued as a purposeless relic, a redundancy from the past.

For me, its been a functioning daily life preserver, keeping my spirit afloat over the past year.

Thank you, Michael, it was a small gesture on your behalf and my life saver. As difficult as this is, I do truly hope… “you all sleep well.” I am at peace, now.

Left with strength, clarity and peace of mind; I may appear to have lost in this round of life, but I won. It was a long hard battle, I did win. Probably not what the families of other “Cancer victims” would want to hear.

How could “victims" win?!

However, I would like to remind everyone at this time, it's not what you do, but how you do it.

Nobody gets out of this life alive.

I know this experience has been permanently etched on my soul, and now I leave this world with only love and compassion.

I feel blessed to have walked the path less taken, like the planters of large oak trees who would not be around in the future to profit from or even see to appreciate the matured labor of their love; they did so out of respect and responsibility for those who came before and for all who come after.

If you’re breathing, no human can be impartial or unaccountable for, “The Greater Good”.

We all play a part in this together.

Lawyers, politicians and business leaders, anyone, just doing their job.

Perhaps the essence for their existence or purpose has been lost and or forgotten within?

Foundations.

Are you the roots, trunk, branches,

just leaves or seeds?

If I were to be perfectly honest with myself, there has never been a day, a morning, an evening where I have awoke to find myself pondering how I could start off by making the ‘situation’ worse. Unfortunately, the road to hell is paved with good Intentions.

Regardless of how good or bad the ‘situation’ was, whether I woke up in a King-size bed with a Rocky Mountain valley view at the Rimrock Hotel or on a cold, dark, concrete floor, in a crack house basement, I tried my very best, to always “Seize the Day!”

Only difficulty with this simple plan, is that syndrome I speak of:

Crazy, Stupid, Mood Disorder, Bipolar, Schizophrenia…call it whatever you want. It does not care. It always over powers, dissolves and steamrolls any good intent or effort I have ever put forth.

Not this Time. Not today, I will make a difference. Today, my feelings, actions, intentions, and abilities are all aligned. After hearing the testimony of the Guard in question at my human rights violation hearing, which occurred during the first part of my current incarceration, his upbringing, his family, friends, union members and co workers, the financial and emotional stress of his severely disabled son, something happened. I got so angry listening to them, to him, to excuses, their reasoning for “why" he treated me as he did, how in essence it was justified, but I wasn’t going to lose this time. I had to maintain composure.

I was going to win. Money was going to make everything better, never right, but better.

Validation.

All I had to do was stay calm.

Then it happened, ever so quickly and subtly.

My fight to hide rage and tension, the stress ache in my neck. The negative inner hate speech I sneered to myself about their point of view on the stand. Just disappeared. Like that, gone.

In its place, a bizarre clarity, I could hear him speaking, at the same time, I could have heard a pin drop.

Something was very different. Why am I hearing this way?

Like lightning, the slight quivering in his over-confident and rehearsed authoritative voice pierced my heart.

I wasn’t listening with my ears, with my head anymore. I was listening to others now with my heart, from their heart.

His lies didn’t anger me anymore. I felt through his lies. I heard his fear and felt his pain, all from his heart.

At that moment, my heart didn’t break. It exploded.

I exploded.

Hastily removed from the courtroom, my behaviour had been expected by everyone, especially the Bailiffs. I’ve often been removed from the courtroom for outbursts and disturbances on many other occasions. Nobody other than me, knew that this time, it was a bright, powerful contrast of causation.

Final Decision.

The $20,000 to be paid out as the result of my human rights violation suit, against a correctional institution officer, shall be gifted as a donation for medical expenses to the son of this officer, my ‘adversary’ in this matter.

I pray the understanding for my final gesture is received with the same clarity and disorienting impact as I first came upon it myself, in the form of an overwhelming truth, beyond words, where as every particle of your mind and body is being shaken to its very core. In that moment, feel a physical shift.

You know you are still you, but something drastic has occurred and you know that you are not the same.

For now, you’ve truly heard the light, feel…

“The Greater Good.”