Taking Back My Power At Last

Oprah Winfrey once said, "You define your own life. Don't let other people write your own script." In other words, don't let others tell you how your life should be lived. People want to manufacture a life for you that suits them and predetermine it without you having any say. I'm the oldest child of two immigrants who were from Liberia in West Africa. African parents want you to become either a doctor, nurse, or lawyer. Anything other than those, they'll say that you're a disgrace to the family. When you have parents who are from another country or continent, they set unrealistic expectations on you. They want you top follow the dreams that they want you to achieve, rather than the dreams you want to follow. This kind of abusive and controlling tactic, known as helicopter parenting, happens in several countries, including Asian and African countries. I was born in the United States and as the oldest sibling, they have put the most pressure on me to succeed. I, along with my youngest brother and young sister, were expected to make all A's in all our classes. If we got at least a B or C in one or more of our classes, they would immediately freak out and chastise us. For example, I made A's and B's in school, making the A-B honor roll many times over. On the other hand, my two siblings were in advanced classes starting in middle school and all the way through high school. In fact, my youngest brother skipped a grade in elementary school, because he was so smart. They have since graduated from college and living their best lives. I've cut my sister out of my life in 2020 during the pandemic, because she was making excuses for my parents' abusive behavior. As for how my brother is doing, the last message I got from him was last year on my birthday, via direct message on Instagram. I didn't respond to it, but our relationship is complicated. I wish them nothing but the best. Will a reconciliation between the three of us happen in the future? Maybe, but this seems to be very unlikely.

Through all of my years in school, I was a victim of bullying. My fellow peers would call me names and make fun of my appearance. They would also tell me that I would never amount to anything in life. These were the first signs of my confidence and self-esteem being shattered. I still deal with these occurrences to this day. One of my biggest regrets was not standing up for myself more. I allowed people to walk all over me for so long. Several years ago, I was severely bullied in a Facebook retro gaming group for simply sharing a pic of me wearing a Super Mario Bros. shirt. Not long after posting that, lots of people went to my timeline and made racist and horrible memes of that picture. Also, they spewed racial slurs towards me. I had two decisions to make: endure the verbal abuse or fight back? I decided to choose the latter by deleting the offensive comments and memes. Then, I posted two separate videos calling out the trolls and standing up for myself. People would say to ignore the bullies. It's a very logical answer, but to me, ignoring them would only allow them to repeat the cycle and win. I wasn't going to let the bullies win that day. I refused to be verbally abused and taking anyone's crap.

One last thing I want to share with everyone is a situation at work I've been dealing with for over two years. For the sake of this story and respecting his privacy, I won't say this person's name or the position he holds, but in mid-2021, I returned to the office after a year and a half of not seeing anyone. While it was good to be back, I wanted to learn new tasks. I've been working at my job for the last six years and I get along with everyone at the office except this aforementioned unnamed person. Since 2022, I expressed a huge desire of wanting more hours and better pay. I worked very hard to get to where I'm at today and know what's expected of me. I like my job and the stuff I do, but whenever I expressed to this person that I wanted more hours and learn new things, it was excuse after excuse and being told no a lot. It made me feel like a failure and believed that I wasn't allow to thrive within the company. Plus, I haven't received a raise in almost two years until earlier this year. I found his reasonings as very hypocritical, because some people were being promoted to other positions, but when it comes to my line of work, I'm not worthy of being successful in life and he's doing this as a way to punish me. Let's call it for what it is: it's workplace bullying. I don't care what position you hold at the office, it's never okay to gaslight or intimidate other coworkers. I'm tired of running way and I decided to stand up to this individual, not to be rude or mean, but to tell him that I'm more worthy of succeeding in life and I'm a person who has goals like everyone else. Just because I'm shy and quiet, it doesn't mean I have to tolerate this kind of abuse from anyone. I don't care how old you are or the kind of person you are, I'm going to speak up and say what's on my mind, in a respectful way, or course. It doesn't mean I have to take this mental abuse lying down. Many employers don't like it when someone stands up for themselves, because they see that as a threat. This problem I mentioned earlier has been bothering me for years and I couldn't let it go. I refuse to become a doormat and let him walk all over me. I may be completely estranged from my parents, but one of the things that they would tell me and my siblings is to speak and stand up for ourselves when someone does us wrong. I'm willing to take that risk of speaking up and letting him know that I'm worthy. Sometimes, you have to put people in their place, so that they won't keep getting away with the same things. I don't have time for games or BS. I would have cursed him out and leave my job right on the spot, but I'm not the kind of person to do that. I can't leave my job, due to financial reasons. Instead, I'm going to be honest about myself, be more sympathetic towards the other party, and approach this as professionally as I can without losing my temper. Yes, this situation I've been dealing with has been frustrating, but for valid reasons. However, I'm going to take that huge step and stand up to this person. If I continued to stay silent about this, I would never forgive myself. Like I said, it's a risk I'm willing to take. I know that I can contribute to this company efficiently, professionally, and responsibly.

I'll keep everyone posted on here to give an update on how this meeting went. I don't know if I will be reprimanded or not, but I will never apologize for being me and standing up for what I believe in. If you would like to give me words of encouragement, please do so in the comments. They would be much appreciated.