marriage
Marriage is not so much a word as it is a sentence–a life sentence.
Souvenir
“We will start the bidding at ten dollars,” echoed the voice of a distant auctioneer as I hastily entered the community center’s main auditorium. As surprised as I was to find myself under the gaze of what seemed to be an ongoing estate sale - judging by the signage - so too were the participants surprised by my windswept and soaked appearance.
By Doug Comstock5 years ago in Humans
The Wedding
I met Liam in Pennsylvania. We were on inner tubes, spinning down the Delaware River, but I was far ahead and moving faster with the current because I was lighter. I noticed him because he had only one leg. He was young, and it was the seventies, so you knew it was the war. He was getting farther behind me, and at a bend he disappeared from view.
By Victoria Kelly5 years ago in Humans
Feeling Lonely
The darkness and emptiness fills the room as tears fill my eyes. I sit on our bed and cry harder than I have in a long time. Why is my life what it is today? Why do I still feel all this pain? Will it ever feel good again? I've become very negative on that subject. I don't understand the addiction to gambling and it is tearing us apart. I love him more than I love myself and yet I can't wrap my head around this. The fact that this is what we are going to lose to, some slot machine in a dive bar and dive gas station preying on the hearts and souls of addicts in our town. There are slot machines in every gas station but two and every bar and almost every eating establishment has machines. They are everywhere. Their bells and whistles just luring him in to ruin our lives together. The bells and whistles here at home have long gone a while ago. Seventeen years I guess things get stale or you get bored, I'm not sure. I still love him more than life itself so I'm still having a hard time understanding the logic behind the behavior of self-destruction. He is unknowingly pushing me away and it hurts. The glances of love I once received are replaced with looks of hate, disgust and shame. I know I've gained weight, COVID has really impacted me and being diagnosed mentally ill, bipolar depressed with depression, is has been especially hard for me. So I know that I haven't been the perfect version of myself either but I haven't tried to break our bond. I sit here alone in my room in the darkness and I concede to the gambling and it wins again. He continues to do it knowing the possible consequence is losing me is just sending a message that I'm replaceable and easily done so by a slot machine. He has found solace in these things, something I can not give him. However, when he loses which is often he comes home beaten. He looks terrible. It is not a good look on him, regret and shame. He does not wear it well. That is not the man I married. He was a strong provider that would never sacrifice our relationship in this way. He is lost and I am afraid it is because he is not happy with me. He is not happy and this is how he shows it without saying it out loud. Is that true I ask myself as I sit here alone in the darkness of my own mind? My father, abusive, always told me I would never be loved. Was he right? I hope not. I want him to be wrong but all sign point to yes, I'm too much to handle. Instead of telling me that the man of my dreams the man I love can look at me with disgust and hate and tell me to get out of our home because I'm angry because he spent over 500$ in the slot machines in two days, mind you we are poor people and can not afford this habit. I'm laid off because of COVID and the side effects I'm suffering and he is the main provider. I would leave if I could. I have no where to go. My mom is in assisted living and my sister lives here with me. There is no where for me to go but I find myself needing that more now than ever. See I'm sitting here in the darkness of my room and I am contemplating the only way I get out of here is dead. Yes that's right suicide is crossing my mind. What now? How could I even ever think that way I have a won. I love him more that I love me. He needs me at least I think he does. I'm not sure though. Sometimes I think he would be happier is I wasn't here to bog things down with all my sadness and anger. Everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I'm already alone in life. I have a few close friends that would miss me but they would survive. They have lives of their own to live. I've reached out and not one person has noticed that I'm struggling with living on this treacherous life that I'm caught living. I feel as the only place to go is home. But I thought home is where the heart is, that is with my family. I'm questioning who is my family. Not him, he's clearly made a point to keep me out of his life as truly family. He has too much that he won't deal with hindering our relationship growth and his personal growth. I think he'd fed up and done with me and doesn't have the courage to say it. He's trying to get me to leave so I'm working out a way. I don't know how but I'm trying. I don't want to die and I'm afraid if I put up with this much longer I might not have a choice. Lost in all of these rambling thoughts. I am alone and that is scary. It's been a long time since I have been alone. I don't know how. I don't know if I can but even now surrounded in a house with my "family" and I'm still lonely. I have to escape this loneliness someway somehow. I have to escape this downward spiral my life is now stuck in. How to get away? Am I stuck? Will I ever survive this chapter of my life? Honestly I'm not feeling very optimistic. I'm crying out to the unknown. Someone here my cries, I could use a bunch of guidance.
By Jessica Norris5 years ago in Humans
Wet, Dirty, Band-Aid
Nobody likes to see a discarded, dirty Band Aid but especially not a wet, dirty Band-Aid in your shower. A wet, dirty Band-Aid floating by in a public pool or circling a drain at a water park splash pad would give anyone the skeevs. You’ve never had that nose scrunching, lip curling sight? Well, I guess not everyone grew up in Florida with a community pool. I digress…
By Mandy Gilmartin 5 years ago in Humans
A knock at the door
'And now the moment you've all been waiting for,' announced Bob Johnson, the local mayor. Perspiring slightly, he wiped his brow then dug a chubby hand into the clear perspex box in front of him, full to the brim with pink, green and white raffle tickets. Everyone immediately jostled for position and then a hush descended upon the crowd. Promoted by the local auto dealership, it was the biggest charity fundraiser the town had ever seen. It seemed as though half the community had crammed into the town hall, all duly wearing face masks, to witness the big draw. Many hopefuls had bought a dozen raffle tickets or more.
By Eva Lewicki5 years ago in Humans
Signs
For the last two years we found ourselves destitute. Although we lived in this quaint town for thirty-six years, our friends' reaction to our situation, of being without a real home, saddened us. They had put us into a category, the one reserved for all homeless people, even though they knew our tale. Our small black notebook which held all of their names and phone numbers, was useless now, so we threw it away into the trash bins which we relied on for our food.
By Pixie Arbuckle5 years ago in Humans
Baseball
ACT I – A View from the Bridge Parker Merriweather exited the backseat of his black luxury sedan. He ignited the cigarette softly glued to his lips by the saliva that had dried nearly three minutes before. He inhaled the introductory smoke and peeled the filter from his lips. Parker owned the car and was fully excused to do whatsoever he pleased inside of it, but as any ritualistic vice a person may have, it was far more gratifying to be patient until the opportune moment and everything was perfect—when she was in his sight.
By Rhett Alexander Hamilton5 years ago in Humans
