advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
What I've Learnt from My Relationship with a Teacher
As a kid my dream was to be surrounded by books. I'd planned my future as I sat in my room, surrounded by books; my ideal boyfriend would be a book lover too. More specifically an English teacher. So imagine my distaste when all I ended up with was far from what I wanted until one day in 2014.My boyfriend & I met at university and after being best friends for 18 months, we started a relationship that has gone from strength to strength. We have survived grief, graduating, and two hectic full-time work schedules.
By Holly Cadman8 years ago in Humans
John and Jane... and Sexism
Sexism is still prevalent in American society though our media outlets try to scream "all genders are equal" and the movements for women's rights are still brought up as though they solved all remaining issues. Yes, women are allowed to vote and yes, they are allowed to work wherever they choose. Yes, they can even own property and yes, they can drive. But in our still male-dominated culture there are shortcomings, some of these are passed down through generations while others are inflicted by popular culture. They exist not only in the workplace, but also in our personal relationships. Both men and women are victims of sexism though typically this topic tends to focus on the women's side.
By Katrina Thornley8 years ago in Humans
Is An Open Relationship Right For Me?
Relationships were not always one man and one woman. Polygamy and open marriages have been around since all of recorded history but began to die out with the spread of non-political marriages and Christianity. However, after several centuries of recluse they have returned, causing many new couples to wonder if an open relationship is right for them, and if so where to start. This can be really difficult with the term "open relationship" having no set ground rules or meanings. One couple may have sex outside of marriage only if both partners know and are involved, while another couple may have free reign with no rules. This broad span of rules and meanings can cause for a ton of confusion, judgment, and even jealousy. More then that, peer judgement can make a newly opened relationship extremely difficult to put into practice.
By Isis Bronson8 years ago in Humans
How I'm Moving On
Recently I have had the pleasure of falling in love for almost 2 years. But my pleasure of being loved was short lived. He soon broke my heart like every other guy I let close to me. I had no way of saving my heart from the pain I endured, and am still working through it. But I refused to let this keep me from living my life and I found an object that helped me work through my issues.
By Cassie White8 years ago in Humans
Why Communication Is Everything
There aren't very many people who understand the power of words. In the short amount of time that I've been gifted with the opportunity to live and breathe on this planet, I've worked in various industries and lived in many shoes: From the food/service industry to transportation, the military, sales, even door-knocking. I've done enough to confidently say I got quite a bit under my belt of hands-on experience. However, all these years, I failed to notice the one thing that all of these professions had in common: Communication. I've never truly realized the effect that one simple word can have on someone's life. You can alter moods, completely change situations, you can earn that business contract, you can get that person's phone number, etc. When dealing with other human beings, you can do almost anything you wish to do if you are an effective communicator. To get to the point, many people don't see this. People are quick to assign the blame on other things that are outside their control for the negative results they encounter. However, we can't ignore the impact our words can have at the beginning of any sort of connection we attempt to make. Take a 911 operator for example. Aside from location services and actual units on the move, they rely primarily on their words to walk someone through a difficult scenario. I know this for a fact because I have been a 911 operator and still am from time to time. I work as a professional interpreter and I deal with many walks of life. There are some instances where anything and everything I say can make a life or death differences. Not only do I have to be very careful with the things I say, I have to be very careful how I say them. Your words have this same effect. I can now recognize that life is all about building relationships, and relationships are built on trust and communication. Even if someone is having a hard time trusting you, the way you carry yourself with the use of your words can determine whether you destroy that bridge or make it all the way across. I realized this when 99% of the doors that I knocked on were shut in my face because of something I said; not something I did. Can you imagine a 6ft, bearded, tattooed man knocking on your door trying to sell you windows at 11 am in the morning? Don't you think he would have to work extra hard to earn that respect from 100ft away? That was me at one point. That's what led me to be work on my words, despite my appearance. So what makes an effective communicator? Is it the tone of voice? The amount of words they know? Does it have anything to do with body language? Facial expressions? Is it even the things he or she doesn't notice, like the amount of times he or she blinks? The 'uhs' and 'umms' in between sentences? The answer is yes. Everything from the way you sound to the way your eyes are angled has a big effect on the way your message is interpreted. This should be common sense, right? It isn't. Different people have different standards when it comes to the way they communicate. While some opt for a direct and blunt approach, someone else may take that as a lack of tact. Some people prefer being reserved and minimal with their statements. Personally, I am one of those. In my short time here, I've met people from all over the world and mannerisms along with tones of voice change drastically from one continent to another. There are many things that fall just outside our reach when it comes to how people take the words we say. Nonetheless, if there is one thing we can control is how we say what we want to say.
By The Rogue Scribe8 years ago in Humans
Misconception
A little advice I wish I would have had 10 years ago.. there's a certain type of guy every girl should avoid. He's a guy you will no doubt encounter in your love life, and he will have you wrapped up in his snare in 5 seconds flat. He will be attractive, but rarely act like he knows it, although he definitely knows it. His lack of self esteem is one of his many ploys. He will tell you he is lonely, he doesn't have anyone really there for him, and every girl he has dated has treated him terribly. You will notice he always plays the victim and never admits to making mistakes or being at fault when a relationship turns sour. He will go on about not wanting to have a relationship, because he just isn't ready, but he just needs a friend right now. Well it is all an act! After feeling sorry for him you will go out of your way to bring some light to his poor little life (it's just in a woman's nature to try and fix things). The two of you will talk for hours about everything, you will feel very close to him. Then comes the time when you sleep with him. Usually, it just happens. At least that's what you think. You're just watching a movie or hanging out and BAM! You are doing the naked pretzel. What you don't know is that he had planned it that way from the beginning of course. He relied on your trusting nature to feel bad for him, then feel like you've fixed him a little, then feel close enough to him to sleep with him. The next day he conveniently doesn't answer any of your text. A week later he will finally reply with a smooth, "Sorry I have been super busy" or something along those lines.
By Vanna James8 years ago in Humans
Five Traits of a Controlling/Abusive Person
He had bedroom eyes, thick, dark hair, and a smile that made my heart beat a little faster. I was at a vulnerable point in my life; recently divorced and fighting my parents for custody of my son, so it wasn't difficult for him to embed himself into my life.
By Denise Willis8 years ago in Humans
A Letter to the Most Influential Man In My Life; I'm Here Too
Everyone you know holds a certain spot in your heart, some can be large and others very small, but either way they are a piece of your life. I have this one insanely important man in my life, who will forever be the most influential in my heart. He is everything I strive to be, and yet, nothing of whom I want to be.
By Ashlyn Thomson8 years ago in Humans
How to Make It Last
There is that saying, you'll know when you find the one. If you doubt this saying it's because you have not found the one for sure. Everyone else who knows this is true is because you feel it. You have found the one. This person is not only the love of your life, but also your best friend.
By Liliana Lanaj8 years ago in Humans
