advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
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When two hearts meet and choose each other, I like to imagine that the ancestors and spirits join together to celebrate that love connection. They gather together in community, fireworks, the singing of choirs, and harps strumming. An idealistic land where we get approval by a higher realm, and it's not something that we see, it is something that we feel. If you let your mind and body want to manifest anything, it will. I can vouch for that many times over. I believe that when you take your eyes from that thing in which you wanted to manifest in the first place, then you lose the thing that you wanted to begin with, and have to start back at square one. I was on a spiritual journey this time last year. It was the beginning of the summer, I was feeling very frustrated, very anxious, and my self-worth was less than 6 feet under. This was because I lacked a positive relationship with who I was, and my mind was tricking me to believe that the way that I was, was toxic. When we feed ourselves these spirit killers, as I like to call it, this truly blocks us from receiving that in which we truly want. How do you want to be touched? I love that this question seems so erotic, but it's not for me.
By SAYHERNAME Morgan Sankofa8 years ago in Humans
Cutting Ties
Sometimes, you really do have to disconnect, completely. It took me a while to come to terms with this. Because for so long I allowed people to determine for me what's [considered] right or wrong. I'm done with allowing people to make decisions for me. I can make them for myself. This is a topic we hardly, if ever, speak on. But it's a topic that's necessary to touch on. We live in a world where a gross amount of our followings and social media "friend's list" aren't truly friends at all, or even associates. They are made up primarily of people we are trying to prove our success to or too fearful to disconnect from. But why? I could care less about proving to you that my life is great without you in it... that my life is great period... or posting visuals of how "abundant God's blessings are in my life."
By Juanita Davis8 years ago in Humans
Introvert to Extrovert
Am I an introvert or extrovert? Is that a question you've ever found yourself struggling with? It seems like such a silly thing to ask yourself, but if you're anything like me it's not necessarily the question that bothers you, but the constant differences in your mood that confuses you.
By Alivia Evans8 years ago in Humans
Friends Lunch Date
So, I'm sitting at lunch with a friend, we're having soup and salad Dutch-style. This lady and I try to take turns either treating each other or paying for our own lunches depending on how our economics are sitting at the time. We have known each other for about four years now, give or take. A mutual friend in the clergy introduced us when she moved to the area. She moved to the area probably a year after I did. He knew that we shared a mutual interest in Celtic Christianity and the Gaelic language, she, in fact, is a far-superior Gaelic speaker than I am and has taught me quite a lot. So we share these spiritual and cultural interests and are only about ten years apart in age. I may be old-fashioned, but I tend to think that people of a certain age grew up knowing certain things about manners that apply when you are at lunch or visiting with a friend you may not see but once or twice a month. The thing I am thinking of just now is that doggone cell phone and whether you take a call or not when at lunch with a friend. And I assumed that only younger people might not know this but this day at lunch made me think perhaps more people should hear this. Just because you have Bluetooth and a cell phone, does not mean that a ringing phone means you absolutely must answer a ringing phone when you are out with someone. Bluetooth or no, the person sitting across from you has now been cut off from you while sitting right across from you if you answer it. They are now isolated and alone. They are now left out of the conversation. If you are not being paid to answer that phone or waiting on some truly urgent call that absolutely must be answered, it would be far kinder to wait until you are not "with" that person. If you would only do [this] the kind thing, neither the other person in the room with you or on the other side of the phone can be the one feeling left out. No one, then, has to sit watching another conversation happening without them, while they eat their lunch alone.
By Morgana Campbell8 years ago in Humans
What You Learn During a Falling Out
Growing up, my mom and I tended to move from place to place, depending on our financial needs of the moment. Being the shy (and slightly geeky) girl that I continue to be today, I often found difficulties in making friends. That is, until I took up residence in a big city in California. There, I met a half dozen of the kindest, funniest, most genuine people that I had ever had the pleasure of calling friends. For about a decade, we shared school lunches, crushes, secrets, and jobs. We embraced good times and helped each other through bad ones.
By Autumn Rain8 years ago in Humans
Changing Everything Part 1: He Left Me for the D
Sometimes, we want things out of people that they just can't give. This can take many forms. Time. Money. Affection. Respect. We end up feeling incredibly hurt by their lack of ability to meet our standards. Now, sometimes those standards are really high and just flat out fucking ridiculous. You can't expect someone to do everything, or anything, for you and you give nothing back. This is not the way the world works. Even a gold-digger has to give up the vagina. Nothing is free. This includes friendship. Everyone comes with a price. While that price may not be monetary, it still exists. For most people, this price is some characteristic we find annoying or offensive. But, in order to maintain these friendships, we put up with their bullshit. The real question is, at what point is the price too high?
By Amanda Washburn8 years ago in Humans
Get Out
Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s okay. You do not deserve to be treated like an animal. You are independent. You have self worth. You deserve so much better. Do not let the abuse take away your life. Get out of that situation. Abuse can occur a variety of different ways. There’s sexual, verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. No one is worse than the other. All are just as bad.
By Madison Rheam, B.A.8 years ago in Humans
Why You Should Apologize, Even If You Don't Want To
When you think of apologizing, you think that you're admitting that that person was right and you are wrong. That you're admitting you deserved what was said or done. That you're weak. That you had no right to do or say what you did. But that couldn't be more false.
By Ashley Hamilton8 years ago in Humans
Love After a Long On-Off Relationship
I spent the majority of my teenage years thinking that I would be with the same person for the rest of my life. I felt that I knew everything there possibly was to know about them, and that our bond was unbreakable after many hormone-driven tantrums and break-ups. We still found our way back to each other, that to me at the time was special. I'm now 19 years old, and now realise that this was, to put it lightly, total crap. However this issue isn't just exclusive to teenagers, on again-off again relationships seem to be more common now than ever, but is the hassle really worth it? I don't think so. Is there a better option? Definitely.
By Lucy Clarke8 years ago in Humans
I Almost Said 'I Do'
Almost. We've all had one of those almost perfect love stories; the guy we met unexpectedly and believed the accidental unexplainable connection meant "this is it." The conversations begin with our likes and dislikes, and somehow within hours, we're talking about marriage and planning a future. The most exciting part of someone new in our life is we are finally healed from the past heartache. We get those silly, heart beating out of our chest, world series winning kinda feelings again. This one is to the girls who keep letting their guard down countless times with no fear in the world. The girls who love deep and love quick. Once upon a time, that was me. Several times it was me, in fact. Each relationship I've ever started, left, or broken away from began the exact same way. I don't think the problem was how it began. It was, after it all ended, my heart still beating for these people who left me broken hearted several times. My worst habit was never letting myself fully recover from each love. The idea of having them want me again made me feel alive again. Well, over the past week I've started to work on that habit and learn to love myself. Thousands of people say to love your self before dating anyone, and it never really worked that way for me. Except things changed this time around. I'm taking full control over my heart and emotionally damaged self.
By Amy Johnson8 years ago in Humans
