Speak More and Talk Less

So, if you are introverted like I am, then speaking to people in person, is somewhat challenging and extremely bothersome sometimes, and yet you often find yourself talking too much about nothing, whenever you are in public or around people and each time you do this you ask yourself, why was I talking about that? should I have said less? should I have said more? and over time you get so drained from the experience you just want to shut out human interaction for sometime and be alone with your thoughts.

You are probably thinking what is she on about? or YEP! that's definitely me, either way whether you are introverted or extroverted we all need to learn to speak more and talk less.

You probably now think, well I speak and a lot, but have you ever thought what you are doing is talking and speaking. Speaking is the art of conveying a message to the other person and yet if you were to do an honest research into your conversations you would discover that you and the people in your circle often half-listen and just get your two cents in without really confirming the other person's opinion or what the point of what the wanted to say was, often doing damage to our relationships, friendships and even to our selves as our anxiety over how we should speak and not speak takes a hold of us.

Hey, you have stated the problem, what's the solution?

Despite the many help books that exist in the world I would not say their is exactly one method of learning the art of speaking more and talking less. That's why before you start to practice Talking less and speaking more, You need to figure out why you do it? You would be surprised that most people talk a lot not because they want to but because they fear silence, not being heard and sometimes the feeling of being left out.

1. Self - introspection

Take some time, out your day each day and try to find out what makes you talkative, judge your emotions during that situation and how you felt after that, is that something you want to repeat or is that something that you don't to repeat again? from their you should be able to successfully judge where the habit of talking to more comes from.

2. Don't fear silence

we live in an era where the fear of being left out, has paralyzed our senses to the point we fear silence. we always want to be in the know, but we need to realize that silence is not the enemy it can be a friend, a friend that allows us to destress, focus, allows us to find clarity in every situation of life. for example, I noticed that whenever me and friends had dinner, immediately any silence cropped up we would immediately reach for our phones and that would just make be even more distant than we were at first. Now whenever we go out, we speak about the things we are passionate about, our feelings and when their is silence no one picks up the phone, we use that silence as a way to learn to listen to each others non verbal communication.

3. Remember Leadership requires Listening skills too

The art of listening is probably harder to master than the art of speaking, why? because we as humans tend to listen to answer, whenever someone is speaking we are already thinking of what we will say in reply and before they finish we are ready with our answer. Learn to take some time and listen to the person as they speak, look at their body language and before you answer actually listen to what they are saying, by doing so you will find that more of your relationships will be comfortable for you and for the other person.

Their many more things you can do to learn to speak more and talk less, however these three should start you on your way to being the type of person that's comfortable with themselves enough, they know when to speak, and when to be silent. the type of person that is effective leader.