Still Wondering...

I love the sound of your smile

when we’d talk on the phone

.

the stories

and small moments

you'd share

.

I love your mind

.

I love your specificities, your KitKats and dr.pepper, your purple & orange, your chosen nose

.

I love that you are your art

and you’ve made a kinder, wiser heart than any I’ve ever known

.

and that look in your eyes

I’m afraid it was fear

.

I felt it too

that shudder in the soul

when we’d meet

—how could this be?

.

I tell myself I am mad

to console my tender

terror

.

that you could love me in return

eludes me

.

the definition of Us

undermines my insecurities in ways

that decay into

so much time

between us

.

I wonder if you still love me

if you ever did

maybe I am a fool

but I believe you did

truly

once

.

and maybe

you still do

.

12/28/25