same but different

I was under the impression that I was undergoing yet again another human experience under the starless, lonely sky. The bottle went up like my hopes for the future and slammed down to the table like the harsh truth of reality. I was trying to distract myself from my own misery as I tried to have mindless conversation with people who looked like my friends but acted merely as decoration in the uncomfortable situation that I felt myself sinking into. Her silver-lined body was pacing so rapidly in the corner of my eye, the rhythm of her footsteps started to match the beat of my fleeting heart. Her fists greeted the windows with so much rage it could start a world war. I was blinded by my own emerald green light that when I tried to look for solace in my friends, in their eyes, I saw glossy, white marbles right where the windows to their soul should be. I couldn’t see through them because there was nothing to look into. I turned and asked, “Mia what’s wrong?” and she hissed at me with the same anger that built her castle walls. Why didn’t she want me to see her? I was so bewildered by the fact that the version of herself that she was showing me didn’t align with who I knew her to be. Her resentment and fear crawled down her spine, through the dirt and concrete, and made its way into my ear like a lover’s broken promise. The pool of self loathing and tears in the backyard of my mind was overfilled that I couldn’t make space for hers. Our love was getting lost in translation as I spoke to her with words of desperation and she responded in tongues and in the tone of impossibility. I wanted to understand why we were feeling this way, because it wasn’t her emotions anymore. As I blinked and traveled into Sasha’s, Tailz’s, and Morgan’s perception and operated their bodies like a machine, I saw myself scream into the night. Even the moon and trees couldn’t see her. Was it my fault I was the only one with eyes that could open like a blooming flower? Communication does not paint a pretty picture unless it is blended with comprehension. In that third dimension-like setting, we were far removed from Earth. This was a personal issue, the closest person I know to myself was not letting me in. I felt like a junkie banging on my dealer’s door. I grabbed and smacked her over and over again because she took me on a walk outside my mind and I wanted to go back home. My palm married her cheek and the force of their unison birthed splashes of my aura which landed on Sasha’s emotionless face. I begged like a hungry soul and pleaded’ “Please take my eyes…” I would rather be blind and live in darkness then look at this being that we could both turn into. The heat of my frustration and the redness of her spite was enough to warm up all three months of winter back down on Earth. However, what seemed to be like a never-ending night was lit by the silver and emerald green consciousness that lived around our bodies. I felt like she was stepping on my love like an empty beer can. I stepped forward as she simultaneously stepped back. With every ounce of tough love ever formed, I yelled into the abyss of her existence and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I saw the blood from her body drain like my energy from this interaction. The look of realization that ran across her face when she realized that she didn’t have an answer in any language was enough to startle anyone. The edges of her body started to smooth out like the silk she liked to wear and she turned into a mirror. A mirror shaped like her body and I couldn’t see myself in her reflection. I used to always see myself in her, but maybe these emotions were really just hers and my heart was just open enough to let emotional debris in. I examined my friend who was now made of glass, ironically corresponding with what I felt I was walking on top of. I tried to look for answers but she wasn’t there anymore. My glassy, pale-ghost friend shattered like everything I was conditioned to believe. The shards of her oblivion transformed into a thick silver liquid that jumped into the drain beneath her like a hopeless spirit in the Golden Gate Bridge.