Regrets take up about half of life

　　In the movie section of my home TV, there is a short film "2016 Global Film Review", I watched it three times and was very impressed by one of the clips. It is said that this short minute is called the "Oscar nomination moment".

　　Because of this minute, I went to see the whole movie.

　　The movie is called "Manchester by the Sea" and tells the tragic story of an ordinary family. An unintentional fire engulfed Lee's three young children and completely crushed this once cheerful and lively man. Away from his homeland, he was silent, drunk and socially awkward, and like the cold sea breeze and heavy snow in Manchester, this man's life has been overshadowed ever since.

　　The Oscar moment describes Lee's return to his hometown to deal with the aftermath of his brother's death, when he meets his ex-wife. She wanted to have lunch with him because she had said a lot of things to him back then that she shouldn't have said and she regretted it and wanted to apologize for it. The mother, who had finally come out of her grief, choked up and said, "My heart is broken, but I know that your heart, like mine, is broken so completely that it will never be whole again." Lee, however, just trembled and shook his head, holding back his tears, unable to say a complete sentence, and hurried away.

　　This is the most tear-jerking scene of the film.

　　Lee experienced a reunion with his wife, but also failed to get out of the trauma of the past, he returned to Boston, back to his day-to-day hopeless life. His indifferent shell, forever hidden in the healing wounds and dead knots can not be solved. However, this experience between them makes the film more relevant to reality, an experience to change a person's bridge will only happen in the film or novel, in real life, more likely just a slight breeze, and can not set off much of a wave.

　　Life if really because of some small details and change, it will make people desperate, this feeling will be like Pascal wrote in the "Lisbon night train" as follows: "we always can not see their lives, can not see ahead, and do not understand the past, the days are good, all by fluke."

　　It is said that life is beautiful, that there is always sunlight shining through the cracks into life. No, life is always painful.

　　This movie is to tell us: the years are dull, fate is tricky, there are always some things that time cannot heal, this life is haunted. You all go towards the spring, leaving me alone in the brokenness of both loss and beauty.

　　Even though life has forgiven him, he can never forgive himself. Over and over again, I can't beat it, I can't beat it......

　　Variety says it is a wonderful interplay of love, anger, tenderness and sarcasm.

　　Touching ordinary people with ordinary people will always work. Who doesn't have one or two things in their life that break them.

　　Last night at 11:30 pm, the skin around my dad's surgical wound was sore and I realized that his ulcer was a little too severe for him to get out of bed and walk, and I had already made an appointment for chemo today. I told my sister about it and asked her what to do. She criticized me, saying that I didn't usually pay attention and how I couldn't learn anything with all the information available online.

　　While I was helping my dad with the wound, I looked up emergency measures on the Internet. I found several available medicines that I didn't have in stock at home. I ran downstairs in a hurry, hoping to find a pharmacy that operated at night. After running two blocks in the cold wind, all the pharmacies were closed. Meanwhile, my phone kept ringing, my sister kept blaming me in WeChat, and my dad sent a text message, "Blood pressure 107/200, no blood pressure medicine at home."

　　I was so desperate that I wanted to cry in the cold wind. But I couldn't. I had to go home and face the torment that life had brought me.

　　When I got home, I simply took care of my dad's wound, waited for him to fall asleep, and then took his clothes to the washing machine. It was close to one o'clock, but I didn't feel like sleeping, so I sat on the sofa and chatted with my sister on WeChat. I know she has been thinking about, but the space and time difference, some problems can not be explained to her, can only comfort her, let her not be anxious.

　　She said, "Hold on for another year, I'll try to return to China in a year."

　　This statement made me feel a little sad, it turned out that I was a person who could not be relied on.

　　When I put my clothes up to dry, I went to bed discouraged. My sister instructed me not to delay chemotherapy, but I was afraid I couldn't give her a guarantee. While my heart ached for my father, I regretted that I had not discovered his wounds earlier. I spent the night in a daze of remorse and regret, and finally waited until dawn to get dressed and rush downstairs to buy medicine.

　　After a morning of tossing and turning, I finally decided to postpone going to the hospital for a few days. Dad was in a better mood, but he reassured me not to worry and to go to work.

　　I was always worried at work and felt ashamed of my inability to do anything about it. I spent the morning like a walking corpse.

　　Woke up at noon in a small office, briefly, not knowing where I was. And began to doubt about life: so many of life's problems, people in this life in the end why live ah.

　　I can't think of an answer.

　　All the suffering and the end of the burden, are the clouds of this world like the time. Who are we, what have we experienced, I'm afraid that this life clouds of water to pass, but they have not been able to precipitate anything.

　　When I look back at the books I've read and the movies I've seen, no one seems to have given me a clear guide. Just like Manchester by the Sea, we can only let Lee punish himself with sadness for the rest of his life.

　　The good thing is, people are always stronger than they think, one second they are desperate to die, the next second they can flash a glimmer of hope in their minds.

　　I think that people come into the world to give their all to something. Real life is about pouring your heart out and taking responsibility. You are responsible for your best friends, your family, every commitment you make, every day of your life, and for me, not wasting my emotions and living up to the expectations of others is what I think about every day.

　　Some people are more fortunate and grow in love; some are more miserable and grow in hate. But most people, but also in the small and large "regret and sadness" to grow up, it is fortunate that this, not to break the heart and lungs, into the bones and flesh. Of course, there is also a very deep pain like a dream like a nightmare, but you and I do not say, and who knows, equal to never happened. Life is like this, regret is the eternal theme.

　　When I got home from work, my dad said that the medicine I bought was very useful and his wound had healed a lot. The day's worries and hang-ups were finally relieved. Regrets account for about half of life, and the rest is probably all surprises.

　　There is no tragedy without tragedy, and there is no nobility without tragedy.

　　Compassion gives joy, sorrow plucks suffering, compassion is like this, the best is like this.