Never Take Responsibility for the Happiness of an Unhappy Person

We are all convinced that we can heal an unhappy person, even if it is not our duty to do so.

You meet a guy who was recently abandoned by his ex-girlfriend, and then you think he needs to be healed. Then, why not, treat it to the fullest. I'm not trying to give you any advice, but please listen to what I'm going to tell you:

A healthy relationship starts with two healthy people.

And that is the main rule. The only rule.

Everyone should, first of all, heal themselves, you can help in part, but do not rush to get too close to this person, if he failed to understand his inner state.

A healthy person is a normal, adequate person who knows about his strengths and does not diminish them, but he honestly knows his weaknesses. Every person has strengths and weaknesses, that's how nature works. There are no perfect people, but there are a lot of perfect neurotics.

A healthy person is aware of his needs, knows how to talk about his feelings, expresses emotions, constructively approaches the solutions to problems in relationships, knows how to love, and most importantly, a healthy person takes responsibility for his happiness. Do you feel the difference? You don't have to hold someone accountable for your happiness - no one owes you anything.

If you save someone all the time, you sacrifice something all the time, you live for the sake of someone else who happens to be there, stop for a moment. Understand yourself, analyze past relationships. Maybe you're in a recurring scenario?

Not all of us are certainly able to reach a certain level of awareness, but nothing is stopping you from choosing a partner that suits your level of awareness. At least try.

For example, you are a mature person, you are free inside, and in principle, the presence or absence of someone else in your circle does not make you very happy or unhappy. Of course, your loved one is enormous happiness, but you should treat him as complimentary happiness to your happiness.

If he leaves, you will continue to live a happy life and accept his choice. Sad, of course, but you will not experience a trauma that will haunt you for life. If the second person is just as mature, then the relationship begins consciously (with the desire to be together for life), and ends, if that happened, consciously. But if the second person is not very mature, then a different situation may arise.

At first, he/she is delighted with your level of maturity, admires you, gradually develops a strong attachment to him/her.

In those moments the person gives up on her and focuses all her attention on you. And if you suddenly decide to move away or leave his / her life, then everything falls apart. You, being a mature person, understand that it hurts, it is difficult, but, frankly, you will not stay with him/her out of pity or anything else. Do you know what I mean?

I know from personal experience that when you try to raise a person, you are probably making the same mistakes. For some reason, people have different levels of development, and their understanding is just as different.

Someone plays in the professional league, someone in the amateur league. And there is no worse or better option. Only two players in the same league can grow simultaneously and motivate each other.

Never take responsibility for the happiness of an unhappy person.

This applies not only to your wife or husband but also to your parents, siblings, friends, grandparents. Compassion, help but don't become a pillar of support for them. "No one will do your inner work for you."

You can't live another person's life. You can't feel what another person is feeling. You can't solve another person's soul problems by sacrificing your soul.

This will be a heavy burden for you. need to succeed.