Meant to be broken

I myself am a big believer in not making promises , weather it is to my spouse or my children. I have learned that you sometimes just got to get shit done! Never realized it until I became an adult that when someone's tell you " I Promise" it was just a way to get you to shut up for a minutes.

I am not even sure when my belief in promises really started , may have been in my childhood . But I have never meet not one person that has kept one, starting with my mother. But then again she is an enter different story that I may tell someday. I know many will not agree with it when I do because they see her as the all knowing , the one person who can never do wrong . But that is all bull shit, she is the one who shaped the person I grew up to be and she is the reason why for sometime I believed in others. I don't want any man to get offended by why I am about to say ,but I am a women writing from my perspective. I was not taught that men can be full of shit even when they mean well. I have not meet a man that has kept a promise. Lets start with my very first relationship , and no I don't have daddy issues. My father never made a promise and he was the best example of what a father should always be. Notice I said father , as a man I not sure how he was , he had his flaws . My first love and not puppy love I had so called boyfriends growing up. I am talking about the one that promised I he will never hurt me or let any harm come to . He was the first to brake my heart and show me how selfish another human could be. But ended it by saying " you deserve better then I can give you, I am never going to change who I am". Then went out and party with half the stirp club and my sister that night. That was just his way of not having to explain shit. My second real relationship , if that what anyone could have called it was a waste of eight years 0f my life. I hate him even when I was with him , this is the one that I always wonder why did I stay . I could have just walked away at any time. Then I thought I found my knight on the white horse, all the pretty pictures painted . The promises made , the dreams given , that I still wait and see with juts a little bit of hope that someday it will be true. But deep inside I know that promises are just empty words and if I want something done I have to figure it out on my own. No body can ever make me a promises and think I will believe them . I make it very clear that it is a myth to me and I don't allow my children to use the word , it is like a curse word to me. I still in all my years haven't meet a person that has kept one yet. Maybe I am scarred for life. The promises people have made , have cause hurt , sorrow and pain. If this is what a promise has to offer they can keep it. I'll keep on figuring shit out as I live.